thanks....that was pure greatness.

i really don't know how you did it...maybe the aisle seat helped. i could not sit next to someone, pinned down by their fat.

The fat doosh had to squeeze one off in his pants because there is no way he could fit in the airplane crapper.

well done. nothing worse than a bad flight home from a trip.

Looking forward to the May trip.

ttt

If only the Wright amendment could be replaced with the "You are too *********fat amendment"

You know you had a bad flight if any part of your body accidentally touches somebody else's back fat while seated in your assigned spot.

I was in the center seat on a flight to Reno when a TOG was seated next to me... that's a longer flight heading from Houston to Nevada. I actually got up and went and hung out with some guys going to Lake Tahoe from Florida that had been partying pretty hard all day and we talked football and had a great time. The stewardwaitress gave me four free drinks (on top of my others) and I neveer sat down until final approach.

I will not endeavor to touch the prose style mastery RAMF has leant to the situation... you don't mess with greatness.

quote:

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His travel scrabble game was littered all over his carcass and there were letters in my seat and on the floor. I still couldn’t see the guy in the window seat but was sure he was dead by now. I returned to the galley to ask the attendant if I could sit in one of their jump seats for the remainder of the flight and she just burst out laughing and apologized.

---

Pure f'ing genius

quote:

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I returned to the galley to ask the attendant if I could sit in one of their jump seats for the remainder of the flight and she just burst out laughing and apologized.

Anyhow, I hate fat people and travel scrabble.

---

I withheld my guffaw until that part. haha... awesome!

haven't laughed that hard in a while.
stories like that are what keep my around texags

ok i'm seriously thinking about changing my seat assignment after this one

i have a late flight coming up and i thought the window would be better for sleeping but even though i've been lucky in the past, i don't want to chance it anymore

quote:

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i've been lucky in the past

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Dude, you're in the mile-high club?

Post of the fawking decade....I'm crying....

Don't you normally cry?

And BI's obsession with his daddy continues after a long heitus.....

I was on an american flight a while back when they flew direct from D.C. into Austin and there was a 350lb+ woman that was getting on the plane right in front of me and several other guys. We of course were making fun of her but as I kept following her to her seat, i had a feeling of dread come over me as she procedded to sit in the center seat of the row that I was sitting in (I had the window seat). This was a full flight and I asked the flight attendent if there was another seat but sadly, she told me no. I then came back up to and told her that I was sitting in the window seat and she told me that since she has sat down, she is notting getting up now and I would have to climb over her. Now the people around me were crying tears at my luck and at this point I simply asked her if she wanted me to stick my crotch in her face or my ass in her face as I climbed over her. Thankfully she told me to stick my ass in her face becuase the throught of a 350+ woman that close to my crotch and I might have hurled on her. After we took of, she was too fat for the tray to come down in front of her she decided to pull down my tray without asking me and pulled out a 3 day old egg sandwich and some type of pate. The stink of all this stuff made me pass out so I huddled up next to the window as far as I could go. After a 3.5 hour trip in this position, my feet were literally blue from lask of blood so I had the attendent help me out of the seat. The only good thing about this is that they felt sorry for me and gave me a $200 voucher saying that I had put up with enough.

[This message has been edited by zaab (edited 12/8/2005 1:08p).]

posts like this remind me that I need to read this site more often.

An exec at my previous company was an SOG. He was in Tokyo and the ticket agent (young woman) says "Sumo?". The exec looks up and squints between the fat folds around his eyes and says "No. Fatso". She just lowered her eyes and kept processing the ticket.

So I'm working at Seattle's Best today near campus. With classes canceled the place ha even more cute co-eds than normal. Plenty of friendly smiles(amazing how much more often that happens once your already married!), that is until of course I read this. Now they are all looking extreme pity and concern as they must be thinking that I am having an epileptic siezure, or psychotic break as I shake violently in my seat holding in laughter....

What I'm trying to say is thanks RAMF for keeping me right with the Mrs.

Not that this needs to be, or could be, any funnier, but what is an "NBC" a$$ release?

"NBC" is a reference to nuclear, chemical, or biological warfare.

I just read this again, and yep, still funny as hell.

Did anyone make in through on the first pass without stopping?

I had to leave my office and come back about 3 times to finish it.

Funniest thing I've read in my life. If you aren't a professional author you should be. I had to stop reading after the third line so I could stop laughing long enough to breathe.

lol... omg... that was H-I-larious.

Hub & zaab.....

When you hear a Shakespeare sonnet, do you try and write a little verse?

When you hear The Boss cranking out "Born to Run", do you try to compose your own little ditty?

Short answer = No. You sit back, admire the art and laugh.

I can just picture this fat bag of meat sitting next to me.

Damn, that was funny.

Thinking about that poor ******* in the window seat really gets me.

[This message has been edited by OD (edited 12/12/2005 11:44p).]

Greatness RAMF, greatness. You, sir, are an artist.

LOL the mental images I was getting while reading that.... too funny.

Gotta luv a thread still hanging around after a week.

Back to the top you go

funniest **** ever....lol at work.

Did the poor ba$tard by the window survive? Did you see him after the flight or were you up and running down the aisle at final approach?