Oh Chimp, you glorious *******.

7,758 Views | 40 Replies | Last: 8 yr ago by StephenvilleAg77
Silent For Too Long
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8:02a, 10/7/15
Just saw this. Something he wrote just before the TCU game:

quote:
There is no doubt Texas is thin up front on the offensive line. So, headsets willing on Saturday at 11 am CT in Fort Worth, the Longhorns' coaching staff will start cutting the field in half with bootleg options off play action, and let Jerrod Heard utilize the run-pass option to the limit. Why?

Because TCU's defense isn't very good. And when I say isn't very good I mean the Horned Frogs defense would go here on my list of Big 12 defenses:
#1 West Virginia
#2 Baylor
#3 Oklahoma State
#4 Oklahoma
#5 Kansas State
#6 Texas
#7 TCU
#8 Iowa State
#9 Texas Tech
#10 Kansas

As of right now, I'd put Texas' defense ahead of TCU's defense, because I think Hassan Ridgeway and Naashon Hughes are legit NFL players on the Texas D-line.
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91_Aggie
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8:09a, 10/7/15
AG
Does he not have access to the internet where there are statistics that list the defenses ranked in order from 1 to 127?
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28
Science Denier
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8:12a, 10/7/15
AG
I can't figure out which I want the most...

1. Chimp and Ketch to publically cover sip sports forever
2. Charlie to be head coach at sipville forever
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26
coolerguy12
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In reply to 91_Aggie • 8:13a, 10/7/15
AG
quote:
Does he not have access to the internet where there are statistics that list the defenses ranked in order from 1 to 127?


He got tired of clicking see more results so he just did his own analysis.
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61
Silent For Too Long
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In reply to coolerguy12 • 8:14a, 10/7/15
quote:
quote:
Does he not have access to the internet where there are statistics that list the defenses ranked in order from 1 to 127?


He got tired of clicking see more results so he just did his own analysis.
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1
Muy
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8:16a, 10/7/15
AG
Chimp still applies 2005 to 2015. Hell, he probably stole this word for word from an article he wrote back then and just replaced the opponent and players' names.
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Kemo Sabe
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8:21a, 10/7/15
Worked like a charm, didn't it Chip? Oh wait no it didn't! TCU happened first and charlito had to throw his magnificent game plan out the window.
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Wabs
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8:26a, 10/7/15
AG
Such a ****ing idiot
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aTm2004
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8:33a, 10/7/15
AG


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36
FDT 1999
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8:36a, 10/7/15
Aggies Revenge
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8:40a, 10/7/15
Houston Summit
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In reply to aTm2004 • 8:42a, 10/7/15
AG
quote:


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3
Silent For Too Long
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8:43a, 10/7/15
The whole cartoon is actually pretty good, and the rest of his stuff from this season isn't half bad.

Well done Thuj. You may be a delusional sip (Heard is the savior, guys!), and you may overly rely on cartoon dicks to placate the lowest common denominator of your fanbase, but your ability to make fun of this situation shows some level of a fully functioning frontal lobe that most of the rest of your fanbase lacks.
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8
The Collective
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8:54a, 10/7/15
AG
I don't understand how Horns Digest has enough subscribers to pay their staff.
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Rocco S
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8:58a, 10/7/15
quote:
As of right now, I'd put Texas' defense ahead of TCU's defense, because I think Hassan Ridgeway and Naashon Hughes are legit NFL players on the Texas D-line.

People pay to read that. I'm not even going to try to put into words how delusional that is. tu's defense is almost dead last in America, and probably will be actually dead last after OU.
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4
80s Guy
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9:18a, 10/7/15
quote:
As of right now, I'd put Texas' defense ahead of TCU's defense, because I think Hassan Ridgeway and Naashon Hughes are legit NFL players on the Texas D-line.
Since when did NFL teams have to list blocking dummies on their rosters?
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2
wbt5845
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9:19a, 10/7/15
AG
Which is funnier TCU at seven or Texas at six?
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mid90
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9:21a, 10/7/15
AG
How the eff does Chimp still have a job? And how much of a moron is the manager/supervisor that still keeps him on the payroll?
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d78230
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9:33a, 10/7/15
AG
tu is #120 in defense.

And yet they're #6 in the big wtf??

How does that compute?

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Born Maroon
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In reply to mid90 • 9:46a, 10/7/15
AG
quote:
How the eff does Chimp still have a job? And how much of a moron is the manager/supervisor that still keeps him on the payroll?
Are we the only ones holding this tool accountable for the diarrhea that dribbles out of his mouth daily?
Maybe he's tolerated by a despondent fan base because he's peddling hope in the face of catastrophe.
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Geop84
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9:51a, 10/7/15
AG
Gotta give Chimp credit. He is consistent.


Consistently wrong that is
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Silent For Too Long
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9:57a, 10/7/15
That's odd. I had the Wonka meme in my original post and it just...disappeared. Don't see any staph edits or anything.

Wasn't aware of that violating any rules?
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AgDotCom
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In reply to d78230 • 10:03a, 10/7/15
quote:
tu is #120 in defense.

And yet they're #6 in the big wtf??

How does that compute?


It computes just fine.

The conference is so bad that two other Big XII teams are already ranked below #120, so that puts Texas at least #8 by default. And most of the other conference teams have played cupcakes in their OOC games, their national ranking will plummet with "better" competition.

When someone thinks Baylor is the second best defense in your conference, it means your league sucks that bad.
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jrdaustin
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10:05a, 10/7/15
AG
It's still there.
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wbt5845
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In reply to Silent For Too Long • 10:08a, 10/7/15
AG
quote:
#1 West Virginia
#2 Baylor
#3 Oklahoma State
#4 Oklahoma
#5 Kansas State
#6 Texas
#7 TCU
#8 Iowa State
#9 Texas Tech
#10 Kansas


TOTAL DEFENSE G Rush Pass Plays Yards Avg/P TD Avg/G
1. Oklahoma State 5 661 889 341 1550 4.5 10 310.0
2. West Virginia 4 567 782 254 1349 5.3 7 337.2
3. Iowa State 4 595 779 277 1374 5.0 9 343.5
4. Kansas State 4 284 1152 300 1436 4.8 8 359.0
5. Oklahoma 4 639 813 323 1452 4.5 11 363.0
6. TCU 5 870 1066 373 1936 5.2 15 387.2
7. Baylor 4 576 1015 306 1591 5.2 14 397.8
8. Texas 5 1053 1483 411 2536 6.2 24 507.2
9. Kansas 4 1006 1133 308 2139 6.9 21 534.8
10. Texas Tech 5 1387 1518 418 2905 6.9 27 581.0
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1 edit
Ag_EE
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In reply to Science Denier • 10:08a, 10/7/15
AG
quote:
I can't figure out which I want the most...

1. Chimp and Ketch to publically cover sip sports forever
2. Charlie to be head coach at sipville forever
Why not both?
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1
dreyOO
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In reply to wbt5845 • 11:51a, 10/7/15
This is incredible. Over 100+ yards worse than that POS defense Bennett is running? HOLY ****

quote:
7. Baylor 4 576 1015 306 1591 5.2 14 397.8
8. Texas 5 1053 1483 411 2536 6.2 24 507.2



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Silent For Too Long
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In reply to jrdaustin • 12:01p, 10/7/15
quote:
It's still there.
Yeah, I can see it now. Couldn't see it on my work browser for a minute. Strange.
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wbt5845
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12:04p, 10/7/15
AG
What's scary is the sips have the #120 defense overall in NCAA D1 football and it's still #8 OUT OF 10 IN THE BDF CONFERENCE!
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wbt5845
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12:07p, 10/7/15
AG
Here are the bottom 10 defenses in ALL OF D1 FOOTBALL.

THESE ARE YOUR PEERS, SIPS!

118 Indiana 5 371 2513 6.77 20 21 502.6
119 Texas 5 411 2536 6.17 24 24 507.2
120 North Texas 4 301 2067 6.87 23 25 516.8
121 Kansas 4 308 2139 6.94 21 21 534.8
122 Idaho 5 333 2713 8.15 29 31 542.6
123 New Mexico St. 4 324 2176 6.72 22 24 544.0
124 Texas Tech 5 418 2905 6.95 27 27 581.0
125 Texas St. 4 306 2340 7.65 26 27 585.0
126 Tulsa 4 343 2364 6.89 20 20 591.0
127 SMU 5 372 2967 7.98 30 30 593.4


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Froppe
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12:09p, 10/7/15
AG
But, but, but, if only Daje hadn't got hurt....
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91_Aggie
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In reply to wbt5845 • 12:23p, 10/7/15
AG
quote:
Here are the bottom 10 defenses in ALL OF D1 FOOTBALL.

THESE ARE YOUR PEERS, SIPS!

118 Indiana 5 371 2513 6.77 20 21 502.6
119 Texas 5 411 2536 6.17 24 24 507.2
120 North Texas 4 301 2067 6.87 23 25 516.8
121 Kansas 4 308 2139 6.94 21 21 534.8
122 Idaho 5 333 2713 8.15 29 31 542.6
123 New Mexico St. 4 324 2176 6.72 22 24 544.0
124 Texas Tech 5 418 2905 6.95 27 27 581.0
125 Texas St. 4 306 2340 7.65 26 27 585.0
126 Tulsa 4 343 2364 6.89 20 20 591.0
127 SMU 5 372 2967 7.98 30 30 593.4




It's a good thing that their offense is fixed and they found their QB of the future
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El Nino in Londontown
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12:28p, 10/7/15
Drip99
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12:29p, 10/7/15
AG
half the bottom dwellers are texas teams....
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wbt5845
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In reply to 91_Aggie • 12:29p, 10/7/15
AG
quote:
It's a good thing that their offense is fixed and they found their QB of the future


quote:
TOTAL OFFENSE

Rank Team G Plays YDS Yds/Play Off TDs TDs YPG
110 Texas 5 311 1693 5.44 12 24 338.6
111 Oregon St. 4 274 1353 4.94 10 14 338.3
112 Minnesota 5 363 1683 4.64 8 11 336.6
113 Boston College 5 326 1668 5.12 16 4 333.6
114 Maryland 5 321 1662 5.18 13 21 332.4
115 Pittsburgh 4 251 1323 5.27 12 9 330.8
116 Penn St. 5 302 1646 5.45 13 10 329.2
117 Utah St. 4 264 1312 4.97 6 10 328.0
118 Kent St. 5 380 1635 4.30 11 17 327.0
119 Missouri 5 339 1612 4.76 11 7 322.4
120 San Diego St. 5 334 1586 4.75 10 14 317.2
121 La.-Monroe 4 267 1215 4.55 11 18 303.8
122 UConn 5 309 1510 4.89 9 12 302.0
123 Troy 4 238 1199 5.04 10 16 299.8
124 Old Dominion 5 327 1481 4.53 11 20 296.2
125 Fresno St. 5 333 1459 4.38 13 28 291.8
126 Hawaii 5 308 1357 4.41 8 21 271.4
127 UCF 5 336 1332 3.96 10 17 266.4
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