***** 2024 Houston Astros Season Thread ***** [Staff Warning]

972,542 Views | 20642 Replies | Last: 10 min ago by AggieJ2002
Silent For Too Long
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agproducer said:

Just a bad month to start the season. 10-19.

Just a reminder: the 2017 team had an 11-17 August.


Yep. Just gotta find a way to keep stringing them together.
fullback44
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agproducer said:

Just a bad month to start the season. 10-19.

Just a reminder: the 2017 team had an 11-17 August.
As soon as we got 2 more pitchers ( Javier and Ugridy) back we can probably move Hunter Brown to middle relief which should help our bull pen… maybe even put Ugridy in middle relief? But he will probably start after he gets back … if we get Garcia or Lance back this year … it will be gravy
agproducer
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Fun on the farm. Leon hit a massive tank.

Farmer1906
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wangus12
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GigEM96 said:

This game was about shaking off the rust and stank

Tomorrow is JV on the mound


You rang?

GigEM96
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I hope Abreu finds the fountain of youth in Florida

Or at least where he was last October

He showed up in the ALDS

EastCoastAgNc
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JP didn't have a great start in AAA tonight. 81 pitches.
GigEM96
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wangus12 said:

GigEM96 said:

This game was about shaking off the rust and stank

Tomorrow is JV on the mound


You rang?




I ring that bell often, chumps.


RED AG 98
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Talmbout.
Ags #1
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Ooof those walk numbers
GigEM96
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EastCoastAgNc said:

JP didn't have a great start in AAA tonight. 81 pitches.



So the clock has struck midnight on Pornstache
Hi, Im Brett
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htxag09 said:

Caratini putting the stros in his back this year
GigEM96
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Hi, Im Brett said:

htxag09 said:

Caratini putting the stros in his back this year

The Porkchop Express
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Porkchop's Astro Shanks Report 4/30/24


Score: 10-9 in 10 innings over the Cleveland Indians
I knew it was over when: My preseason pick Victor Caratini used a 9-iron to slice that thing on a liner into the right-field stands.
A great Star Wars gif to use when 'Tini' comes up big going forward:


Our first extra-innings regular season win since: June 25, 2023, Astros 6, Dodgers 5 in 11.
Ugh, and before that?: September 25, 2022, Astros 6, Orioles 3 in 11.

Me when I saw the Indians were trotting out Old Man Carrasco to pitch:


Me when I realized I was 13 years old when Old Man Carrasco was born in 1987:



Possible Paid Female Companion of the Game: The blonde with the rack in the third row in the top of the 10th draping herself all over some dude while their pictures were professionally taken
Record: 10-19 (.344)
Projected Record Pace: 56-106; projected wins have improved by 12 in the past 3 days.
Standings: 5th place, 6 games out of first (pending Mariners' result)
How's that for a debut? Yuey Guperfido, 2 RBI, 1 run scored. Or as Jose Abreu calls it, a solid month.
Run Differential?: -21, 10th in the AL
To get to 90 wins: 80-53 (.601)
To get to 81 wins: 71-62(.534)
Next time you feel bad for Jose Abreu, here's West Palm Beach:



Let's all admit our terrible shared opinion: Joe Espada's decision making is not exactly making Dusty Baker seem like the only dumb dumb idiot anymore to coach this team any longer.

Let's be clear: I'm never going to call Cleveland the Guardians. When I see that name I think it's a typo.

What's Up with Guperfido's sister's outfit? It's a baseball game, honey, not a mass suicide at the cult.



Let's all admit our second terrible shared opinion: Guperfido's Duke roster picture makes him look like that preppy a-hole we all hated in high school athletics.



How many times have I typed Guperfido today? So many that my phone is making it a suggestion when I type "g-u"

Not to wax poetic, but: This was a big deal to win this game tonight. A playoff kind of game. You suck, then they suck, then it's tied, and you see who blinks last.

Not to go off one of my diatribes, but: Does anyone else get the feeling that the young guys on this team are waking up and realizing that they aren't just on Altuve and Bregman's team, but this is now THEIR team? I had that feeling on Sunday when there was a nice case of Diaz driving in Pena, and I thought those guys might play together for 8-10 years if we're lucky. And then tonight you had Singleton, Guperfido, Pena, and Caratini all with huge hits. Only one of those guys was doing anything for the Astros a year ago. The top four guys in the lineup can only do so much in a season. Eventually the young bucks have to step up and be great if they want to keep the dynasty going.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
GigEM96
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April over
Abreu in the WPB
Six back and closing

GigEM96
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So I was researching Astro sisters and came across this gem.
GigEM96
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Loperfido's sister would boil your rabbit, lick your *******, or be a great mother to your kids. There's like no in between.
Heineken-Ashi
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GigEM96 said:

Loperfido's sister would boil your rabbit, lick your *******, or be a great mother to your kids. There's like no in between.
“Give it hell Heinekandle, I’m enjoying it.”
- Farmer @ Johnsongrass, TX

“No secure borders, no alpha military, no energy independence, no leadership and most of all no mean tweets - this is the worst trade I’ve ever witnessed in my lifetime. ***Put that quote in your quote/signature section HeinendKandle*** LOL!”
- also Farmer @ Johnsongrass, TX (obviously in a worse mood)
Silent For Too Long
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I laughed way to hard at that. Well played.
All I do is Nguyen
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Cleveland's radio call of the walk off

Marvin
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Fell asleep up 8-5 and just caught up on the thread. What a rollercoaster of a game. Thanks for rooting on a win, boys… well, except for the 90% that called the loss in extras. Haha, j/k. That would have been me, also.
I love Texas Aggie sports, but I love Texas A&M more.
cc10106
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tjack16
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A sweep at home would be glorious.

But my goal is just to keep stacking series wins.

Go 10-5 over your next 15 and that puts you at 20-24. Then you get some guys back and we can roll
tjack16
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Wild to think so far the best move of the offseason was Carantini
West Roxbury
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Heineken-Ashi said:

GigEM96 said:

Loperfido's sister would boil your rabbit, lick your *******, or be a great mother to your kids. There's like no in between.




Yeah. She seems like she would be crazy in bed. That is a plus.
PhatMack19
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Mr.Bond
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https://www.facebook.com/share/r/PYwk4QU8sT4H7ypE/?mibextid=0VwfS7



505 feet?!
Im looking for Ray Finkle.... and a clean pair of shorts. Im just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland, sir.




Mr.Bond
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PhatMack19 said:




Well we had an automatic out every 3 innings for the last month. We just sent him to Florida.....

It definitely did bring a different strategy to the game back in the day though
Im looking for Ray Finkle.... and a clean pair of shorts. Im just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland, sir.




tjack16
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PhatMack19 said:




Still never understood the love fest with pitchers hitting
AgSportsFan89
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agproducer said:

Fun on the farm. Leon hit a massive tank.




Didn't he just hit like a 479' dinger or something a few weeks ago? He's bringing the power.
jetch17
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All I do is Nguyen
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This is phenomenal

agproducer
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I think it was in Reno. This one was El Paso. Rarified air for sure.
agproducer
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Wow! This really shows Abreu's drop off.

I'm rooting for him to get back.

texasaggie2015
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Feel horrible for the guy. I said this before and some of you disagreed- he's genuinely one of the best teammates and people in the entire sport. Really good human being who works hard and he feels worse about this than anyone. I hope he's able to figure it out.
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