fc2112 said:

The Porkchop Express said:

AgEng06 said:

Brian Earl Spilner said:

Solid if not so subtle humblebrag post.
Lol, that's literally all this post is.
I got off from my aerospace engineer job and took my $40,000 down payment and fantastically high credit score to the Luxury Automobile Dealership to get my bombshell wife a new vehicle. "I'm sorry, sir," the super-model receptionist said as I walked through the doors in my Armani suit, "but you're simply too handsome to come in here, our other customers can't compete with your good looks and surely enormous *****. Can you wait outside? Don't worry, myself and many other females will be there shortly with champagne and a Barco lounger to giggle as you tell us ribald tales of your travels throughout the land."
Best thing I've read in years, thank you.

But full disclosure - I'm ugly as sin, don't own an Armani suit and I'm hung like a flea.

Otherwise, pretty dead on.

Flea *****es are quite large, up to 2.5 times the size of their bodies.