quote:quote:
I am currently a second grade teacher at a public school. I have a wonderful class and I like to reward them when they have a
good week by having volunteer parents bring in snacks (I.E. cookies,
candy, granola etc.) provided the parent keeps them hypoallergenic. This
week our volunteer parent, who we will refer to as Autumn Lily Speaker
(not far from her actual name) told me on Wednesday that she will be
preparing cookies for the class and is 'excited for this opportunity'.
Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and marked it off my weekly to-do
list.
So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited. Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me
and says with a smile "I decided you can use these to teach the kids
about the woman's vagina today". Baffled and completely caught off guard
I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of
sugar cookie and frosting vaginas. Not just any old vagina, but ALL
KINDS OF VAGINAS. There were small, puffy, white, brown, shaved, bald,
and even a fire crotch with beef curtains. perplexed I give the parent
the most professional look I can muster and quietly reply "I'm sorry
Autumn, but I can't give these to my students. This just isn't
appropriate."
cue angry radical feminist
Autumn bursts with the fury of a thousand angry Andrea Dworkin's and starts yelling in front of the class about how 'I should be proud of my
vagina' and 'I am settling for a women's role in life'. Utterly bemused
and frozen from shock all I can do is stand and stare at the woman as
the word 'vagina' is yelled in front of my second grade class about
987,000 times. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she storms
out of the class leaving her vagina cookies on my desk. I scramble to
collect my thoughts and take control of the situation before my second
graders develop vaginal PTSD. My only thought is to scrape off the
vagina frosting and hand out the plain sugar cookies to my students.
The rest of my day went quite well and ended without a incident. I sent my kiddos home and started wrapping up work and getting ready to
leave when the phone rings and a bewildered parent wants to know why
their son learned the word 'vagina' in class today I answer the best I
can explaining the situation in the most professional manner possible. I
get about 3 more phone calls and 4 emails until I get it, the mother of
all emails Autumn's.
