Son wants to enlist....

9,250 Views | 67 Replies | Last: 5 yr ago by agracer
agracer
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AG
First, I have no problem with him doing this. One of my regrets is I did not serve when I had the chance. He says he is bored as school and feels like he is wasting his time and his and our money. His plan is to finish this spring semester and enlist in the Marines. He's already talked to the local recruiter and, while I'm not 100% clear on all the details, he was told there are no boot camp openings until the summer so he should be able to finish this semester. I told him not to sign anything until he asks a lot more questions and reminded him it's the military, once you sign on the dotted line they own you.

That being said, I don't know that he understand what he is getting into. He is not someone who suffers mundane rules lightly and the military has plenty of those. He is absolutely terrible and hiding his frustration with 'dumb people and dumb rules'. I'm worried he will get frustrated from having to follow rules and orders and things will not go well for him. Of all my children he is the last one I'd say was a prime candidate to enlist in the military. He is plenty smart, has good grades and tested out of 18-credit hours before he started college last fall (he'll have 78-credit hours at the end of this spring) but has always been one to challenge authority.

I had two uncles server in the Navy (one a pilot and one a nuc sub officer). I talked to one last night and he said the Military has plenty of opportunities for someone just like him. He said that the Navy had a enlisted officer program (sorry, can't recall exactly what he called it) but they basically payed those who qualified to go to college and then commit for x-years after accepting a commission. There are also plenty of jobs outside of the infantry for smart, motivated people. When I brought this up with him he said he wants to 'fight for his country' and be part of the infantry which of course send his mother over the edge with "what would I do if my son dies in combat"....obviously any parents fear. I suggested he finish school first then join but he stated again he feels like he's wasting his time in college right now.

So I guess I'd like to know what questions he should be asking the recruiter before he signs on the dotted line or what does he need to know? Any one else have direct experience as the same person, or kid like mine?
Presley OBannons Sword
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if he wants to join the Marines and go in the infantry and you talk him into something else, he's going to regret it and probably be miserable. that said, i fully understand why you wouldnt want him going Marine infantry.
FightnFarmerUSMC
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AG
I was a Marine Corps recruiter from 2010-12. I would find out what benefit tags he chose when the recruiter first talked to him and go from there. Not a lot of "fighting for my country" going on in the world right now compared to a decade ago. He might spend 4 years state side or on non-combat deployments.

Sometimes the Marines are perfect for someone just like him. Get 4 years away from the mundane life you're bored with, get money for college, see that the military isn't like the movies, gain a ton of life experience and other intangibles that will set one above their peers, etc. It's a great stop gap for someone who isn't quite sure what to do with their lives yet. On the flip side, if he's as hard headed towards authority as you say, it might be the most miserable experience of his life. He will be brought down to the lowest common denominator many times and do many things that make no sense (especially in the infantry). There will be many many many dumb games that serve no real purpose other camaraderie through group suffering or an NCO is getting his entertainment from messing with the boots. Nature of the beast.

I always suggest going into an MOS that has real world applications later, but I also push for our most qualified to be our front line war fighters. We need the most intelligent Marines as our squad leaders. Making split second decisions that involve multiple different variants for 12+ people during a firefight is not something that we want knuckle-draggers doing.

Hope this helps.
agracer
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AG
FightnFarmerUSMC said:

I was a Marine Corps recruiter from 2010-12. I would find out what benefit tags he chose when the recruiter first talked to him and go from there. Not a lot of "fighting for my country" going on in the world right now compared to a decade ago. He might spend 4 years state side or on non-combat deployments.

Sometimes the Marines are perfect for someone just like him. Get 4 years away from the mundane life you're bored with, get money for college, see that the military isn't like the movies, gain a ton of life experience and other intangibles that will set one above their peers, etc. It's a great stop gap for someone who isn't quite sure what to do with their lives yet. On the flip side, if he's as hard headed towards authority as you say, it might be the most miserable experience of his life. He will be brought down to the lowest common denominator many times and do many things that make no sense (especially in the infantry). There will be many many many dumb games that serve no real purpose other camaraderie through group suffering or an NCO is getting his entertainment from messing with the boots. Nature of the beast.

I always suggest going into an MOS that has real world applications later, but I also push for our most qualified to be our front line war fighters. We need the most intelligent Marines as our squad leaders. Making split second decisions that involve multiple different variants for 12+ people during a firefight is not something that we want knuckle-draggers doing.

Hope this helps.
yes, that is helpful. Maybe I should say he's hard headed towards ME but I am his father and every son can be that way towards their father when they are 15-20 years old.

He was always respectful to people he admired and respected (coaches and teachers) but at the same time, had no patience for coaches or teachers he did not respect. Although it was more grumblings to friends and family about those teachers/coaches than direct confrontation which goes on everywhere in life.

I'll ask him about what benefit tags he would chose or what he talked to the recruiter about. I have half a mind to call the recruiter directly, but then this is his thing and probably should let him figure it out on his own. That's kind of part of growing up. I would push him towards the Navy Nuc program, but math is not his strongest subject.
agracer
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AG
Sorry for ridiculous story but this is part of my concern.
SON A is the one joining the military.
SON B is still in HS at home.

SON B and I are headed to the store the other night. I realize I left my wallet in the house and go to get it while SON B gets into the car in the garage. I come back, open the garage door and realized there was 1/2" of snow on the driveway. So I grab the shovel and start to clear the drive real quick. SON B is outside with me 30-seconds later with the other shovel "I didn't realized it had snowed!". We clear the driveway in about 5m.

SON A would have more than likely stayed in the car. That's my concern with him in the military. He's not going to be the one to step up and take action when needed and suffer for it.
FightnFarmerUSMC
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AG
agracer said:

Sorry for ridiculous story but this is part of my concern.
SON A is the one joining the military.
SON B is still in HS at home.

SON B and I are headed to the store the other night. I realize I left my wallet in the house and go to get it while SON B gets into the car in the garage. I come back, open the garage door and realized there was 1/2" of snow on the driveway. So I grab the shovel and start to clear the drive real quick. SON B is outside with me 30-seconds later with the other shovel "I didn't realized it had snowed!". We clear the driveway in about 5m.

SON A would have more than likely stayed in the car. That's my concern with him in the military. He's not going to be the one to step up and take action when needed and suffer for it.
They'll either fix that real quick or he'll have a very long 4 years.
Presley OBannons Sword
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Lol yup
HollywoodBQ
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AG
What's the friend situation with SON A?

Does he feel he's being held back by his friends or does he want/need a break from them? I've got a cousin who didn't really know what he wanted to do so he went to the local JuCo and kept living at home after HS. He kept hanging around with all of his HS friends who weren't even going to JuCo and he really felt like he was going nowhere.

I totally didn't expect this from him because he had asthma and problems with his ears as a young kid. Also, he wasn't a high academic achiever and wasn't an athlete or anything but, he up and enlisted in the USMC and got Security Forces. Spent 4 years in the Corps (probably about 1997-2001) and was stationed in Bremerton, WA, Hawaii and Okinawa. Also got to do some joint exercises in the Philippines.

After that, he went to Texas A&M and is now a Police Officer in the Houston area. The before was just kind of a kid flailing around. The after was/is a Marine. That was one of the best moves he could have made. He still likes his comic books though.
AggieEP
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Check my post about military linguists. The Marines have linguists as well and many of them work in deployed locations. If he's smart sell him on proving it and then using that skill to defend his country.

Of course if he hates studying, don't send him to us.
zoneag
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agracer said:

Sorry for ridiculous story but this is part of my concern.
SON A is the one joining the military.
SON B is still in HS at home.

SON B and I are headed to the store the other night. I realize I left my wallet in the house and go to get it while SON B gets into the car in the garage. I come back, open the garage door and realized there was 1/2" of snow on the driveway. So I grab the shovel and start to clear the drive real quick. SON B is outside with me 30-seconds later with the other shovel "I didn't realized it had snowed!". We clear the driveway in about 5m.

SON A would have more than likely stayed in the car. That's my concern with him in the military. He's not going to be the one to step up and take action when needed and suffer for it.


I'd agree with son A here. It's silly to shovel 1/2 inch of snow. But then I joined the navy, so....
Bassfield
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AG
Why not have him ask the recruiter about the USMC Platoon Leader's Class (PLC). He would go to "boot camp" during the summer(s) while still in school and if he passes the course is commissioned a 2nd Lt. at graduation. He would know if the military is what he wants to do. If he doesn't like it I believe it is easy to resign from the program without an obligation. It would be best to do your research as my information is based on what I did over 50 years ago. My military experience was the best thing I ever did.
Presley OBannons Sword
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Bassfield said:

Why not have him ask the recruiter about the USMC Platoon Leader's Class (PLC). He would go to "boot camp" during the summer(s) while still in school and if he passes the course is commissioned a 2nd Lt. at graduation. He would know if the military is what he wants to do. If he doesn't like it I believe it is easy to resign from the program without an obligation. It would be best to do your research as my information is based on what I did over 50 years ago. My military experience was the best thing I ever did.
still pretty much accurate.
johnrth
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I wasn't in the marines but the navy. I went in a year after high school, not because I wanted to but because a friend talked me into joining with him. I was a lazy pos with no job, no motivation, no idea where I was going in life, staying up til 5am sleeping til 3pm, and bumming off my parents. I told my recruiter I dont do well with people yelling at me and 2 things would happen. Either I laugh in their face or yell right back at em.

Long story short. It was probably the best damn decision I made. I now can't stand people who can't take care of themselves, or who are how I was before. I try to take initiative whenever I can, and cant stand being idle and always try to find a job that needs to be done.

The military does a good job at breaking people down and building them back up. But not all people can conform. Ive seen my fair share of dirtbags who got kicked out. If he's dead set on the marines let him go. Ask if he has considered other branches as well. He'll learn pretty quick on who's boss and what they expect.
agracer
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AG
One thing my wife and I agree on is this will (hopefully) build his confidence. Don't know why, but 2 oldest (twins) are not the most confident people in the world, but son #3 is extremely confident (esp. with sports) and son #4 is pretty confident in just about anything he does.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll bring up the PLC class with him. I know something about that.
Federale01
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AG
I wouldn't worry about your son's personality going into the service unless he has true problems with authority or lacks the ability to control his emotions. If he is a level-headed and rational kid, the military will break him of some of the bad habits he has now. I was a lazy, messy kid before joining the Corps and the Army. I am no longer either.

One of the best thing the military teaches is you is that you are part of a team and your actions effect that team. Those lessons usually translate well once someone is out of the service as well. You recognize you are part of society/business/organization and as such you have certain requirements to meet to help that group function better. Or course, I had several soldiers that never learned those lessons and they did not do well.
agracer
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AG
Federale01 said:

I wouldn't worry about your son's personality going into the service unless he has true problems with authority or lacks the ability to control his emotions. If he is a level-headed and rational kid, the military will break him of some of the bad habits he has now. I was a lazy, messy kid before joining the Corps and the Army. I am no longer either.

One of the best thing the military teaches is you is that you are part of a team and your actions effect that team. Those lessons usually translate well once someone is out of the service as well. You recognize you are part of society/business/organization and as such you have certain requirements to meet to help that group function better. Or course, I had several soldiers that never learned those lessons and they did not do well.
nah, I probably overstated the problems with authority thing...he just likes to tell me I'm wrong a lot.

I called him this afternoon and asked about the PLC class. He is going to talk to the recruiter about that option. He was not 'sold' on it b/c he has to go to school next fall, but I pointed out that;
A. If you go to OCS for 6-weeks this summer and hate it, you've lost nothing except some time
A.1 - you're not stuck enlisted for 4-years if you do hate it (don't think he will).
B. If you go to OCS for 6-weeks this summer and love it, you have motivation to finish school.
C. They'll help you pay for school, even law school if you want to be a lawyer.

He said if he changes his major he can graduate in 3 1/2 years (he tested out of 18-hours of school) and potentially be commissioned in January 2020.

I really hope he talks about it and leans that way. I think it would be better for him all around. Not the beat down build up that is basic training, but still some of that to motivate him.

mrad85
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AG
My son did the 11 week PLC course and loved it. He was also in the CoC. He chose not to go the scholarship route. He and I both wanted his commission to be "free" of any ties to the CoC.

The PLC route is good, but I believe it's getting harder to get in, so start early. IMO, it's not how you get in, it's what you do when you are there.

Good luck to you and your son.
GAC06
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AG
If he's interested in OCS he needs to go see the Officer Selection Officer. Recruiters don't send people to OCS.
ABHag
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AG
I did exactly this. It took me one semester longer but I was only 20 when i joined the Navy and I never regretted it because of the experiences I gained. My step father is a marine and my father non military supported my decision all the way, both moms freaking out the whole way. I deployed twice with the 15th MEU (marine expeditionary unit) and the 31st. I've been here at A&M for two years as of next summer, I started over with 0 credit hours and will graduate in next year, the military gave me motivation that I didn't have and learned what I wanted to do professionally.
Presley OBannons Sword
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mrad85 said:

My son did the 11 week PLC course and loved it. He was also in the CoC. He chose not to go the scholarship route. He and I both wanted his commission to be "free" of any ties to the CoC.

The PLC route is good, but I believe it's getting harder to get in, so start early. IMO, it's not how you get in, it's what you do when you are there.

Good luck to you and your son.

If his son identifies as a black female, he will get in much easier.
agracer
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AG
GAC06 said:

If he's interested in OCS he needs to go see the Officer Selection Officer. Recruiters don't send people to OCS.
He did talk to one at the same time as he talked with the recruiter. He explored the PLC some last week, but I don't think he is going that route. He has said he does not think he wants that 'responsibility' of being on officer.

I believe he is just done with school at this point, but does not want to live in the basement (also, we won't let him). He said he is looking for a way to make a difference and find direction in his life. My wife and I just wanted him to explore all his options and understand that 4 (really 8) years is a long commitment, especially if he gets in a realizes it's not the life he wants. He also needs to understand that the military may see has brains and put him somewhere he may not necessarily want to be (like intelligence or logistics or a 'desk' job which is a 'fear' of his).

That being said, we've heard many stories of people enlisting and it had a huge positive impact on their life.

Either way, we have told him we are 100% behind him in this journey and we love him. Not much else we can really do. He's almost 20 and old enough to make his own decisions.

PS: This week, he has to take a van with one other guy from his college 30 min west,....then get on a bus with 20-other recruits to drive 60 min east to do testing and medical work....which I pointed out to him is one of those dumb things he'll have to put up with...driving 30m the wrong direction only to drive 60m in the direction he wants to go.
Joe Exotic
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AG
Sway him to the Air Force if you care about him. This is coming from a current Army warrant officer.
bqce
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AG
Lordy - your son and mine probably share a lot of DNA. The main difference here is I was glad when he told me he wanted to be Marine infantry.

He was 17 when we signed for him in the Delayed Entry Program. The difference between civilian and boot camp was staggering, in an amazing way. He had quite a military life and is now an Aggie graduate who is actually contributing to society.

He posts in TexAgs fairly regularly as 03ki11erAG. I'm pretty sure he'd recommend your son join the Marines since he appears to have what they're looking for - someone who doesn't just have "college money" on the brain. He'll find there's lots of Marines in his peer group.
Presley OBannons Sword
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Bayside Tiger Ag said:

Sway him to the Air Force if you care about him. This is coming from a current Army warrant officer.

The kid wants to go Marine infantry and you're recommending the Air Force? Terrible advice. He would be miserable.
FightnFarmerUSMC
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AG
Presley OBannons Sword said:

Bayside Tiger Ag said:

Sway him to the Air Force if you care about him. This is coming from a current Army warrant officer.

The kid wants to go Marine infantry and you're recommending the Air Force? Terrible advice. He would be miserable.
TThom
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Presley OBannons Sword said:

Bayside Tiger Ag said:

Sway him to the Air Force if you care about him. This is coming from a current Army warrant officer.

The kid wants to go Marine infantry and you're recommending the Air Force? Terrible advice. He would be miserable.


Speaking as a former Air Force officer, I completely agree with Presley OBannon
Hey Nav
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AG
Quote:

The kid wants to go Marine infantry and you're recommending the Air Force? Terrible advice. He would be miserable.
There are a few career fields in the Air Force that have bad ass snake eater types, such as Combat Control and Pararescue.
TowGun93
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AG
After reading about your ongoing efforts to talk to your son, and his persistence, I'll weigh in. My parents would tell you that you've done what you can, but he's made up his mind. And I'll tell you the same as I was that same young man, done with school, wanting to serve, and that nothing other than Marine Corps infantry was going to suffice. Served 4 active years that included Desert Storm, beautiful Southern California, Korea, and a year in a remote Okinawan paradise/hell that provided me with far too many crazy, funny, unbelievable, tragic, and mundane experiences. Tell him to browse Terminal Lance and get ready to embrace The Suck. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Semper Fi.
agAngeldad
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I went Air Traffic Control in USAF. Routine job while in service (except combat control) however, the life after service is great money and a life changer for most families. Military Controllers are always in demand in private sector and paid extremely well.

Air Traffic controllers are in all branches except Coast Guard
agracer
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AG
bqce said:

Lordy - your son and mine probably share a lot of DNA. The main difference here is I was glad when he told me he wanted to be Marine infantry.

He was 17 when we signed for him in the Delayed Entry Program. The difference between civilian and boot camp was staggering, in an amazing way. He had quite a military life and is now an Aggie graduate who is actually contributing to society.

He posts in TexAgs fairly regularly as 03ki11erAG. I'm pretty sure he'd recommend your son join the Marines since he appears to have what they're looking for - someone who doesn't just have "college money" on the brain. He'll find there's lots of Marines in his peer group.

Oh, I'm not upset about him going Marine Infantry. Just that concern of my son being killed in a war in the ME or Korea..like any other parent. My wife and i have been very supportive this whole time but just want him to ask all the questions and look at all his options first.

He's doing testing today and medical. I think he's going to sign this week and be off to boot camp in mid-May.
bufrilla
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AG
Have to smile at many of the comments here. Retired Marine (Mustang Officer)here, and my youngest son was hell bent to be a Marine 03 (grunt). We(including Mom)had discussions over the pros and cons (I had been retired 3 years, a retired officer, but several years enlisted time) and he was able to join the PLC program that fall as a Freshman. He was commissioned on his graduation from A&M and off to being a "grunt" with 2nd Marines as a Plt/Company commander over the next 4 plus years. Oldest son had finished his Master Degree when he called, we discussed the pros and cons joining the Corps. He was off to OCS within 10 days and now has 23 plus years as a Marine Officer.
Move forward to 2017 and Grandson is a HS senior, is bound and determined to be a Marine (4th generation), father and grandfather discussed the pros and cons and he was off to Boot Camp the week after graduation from High School. He wasn't up for college, average grades in high school (excellent grades in courses he liked). Scored exceptionally high on ASVAP. Very vocal to discipline, to be exact a smart a--,
that changed with Boot Camp. Was there for his graduation (same week as UCLA football game) and a changed young man as to attitude.
The Marine Corps will not hurt the youngster. He will ask himself in the first couple days at MCRD, "what The hell have I done".
As for your concern for death in combat? I was always amazed by my Mom's attitude. She saw 8 sons and one son-in-law serve in combat over 3 wars. I was the youngest. She never complained,(in WWII) she saw my oldest brother wounded in the S.Pacific in 1942; next brother made 3 combat jumps with 82nd Airborne (Sicily,DDay, & Market Garden) wounded twice; brother-in-law was company commander with Patton's 3rd Army, wounded and captured at the Battle of the Bulge; 3rd brother landed on DDAY and the push into Germany and survived with a whole body. In Korea, 4th brother KIA at the "frozen" Chosin; brothers 5 and 6 were lucky in their tours. Vietnam saw brother 7 with the 11th Air Assault, 1st Air Cav (had 5 Hueys shot out from under him); I served one 13 month tour in Vietnam with 3rd Marines as a Platoon Commander; then later, after receiving my "wings of gold", a tour flying combat missions in the F4 Phantom.
Mom never made a remark about the possibilities of loss of life. I was in elementary school when my brother was KIA and remember my mother's words to my father on the morning of 4 December 1950, she told him she had spoke to my brother at the front door that night and that he would not be coming home. My father sort of said "bull" and of course my Mom just went about her business, a month later the telegram arrived, that brother was KIA on 3 Dec 1950 - "a mother's intuition".
My father's attitude (WWI AEF veteran,9 months on the front in France/Belgium). He said it was your responsibility to serve your country, whether in the military or just being a good, everyday citizen. He would give you advice to help YOU make YOUR OWN DECISION(s). That's the key many here have stated. Advise, don't decide.

Semper Fi





GAC06
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AG
Great post
Presley OBannons Sword
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Holy hell. What a legacy.
bufrilla
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AG
Semper Fi Marine

Yes a Legacy!
I might add, one GFather was for a period a Texas Ranger
One GGFather was at San Jacinto, the city park in my home town bears his name, as the land was donated by him from his veterans land grant (100 acres) for service in the War for Texas Independence.
A GGGGGFather severed under General Francis Marion, "the Swamp Fox" during the Revolutionary War and the following three generations bore Francis or Marion in their names.
I'm the 10th generation since sailing out of Liverpool for the English Colonies(1628), settling in North Carolina then on to Maryland, then Virginia, back to North Carolina, to Tennessee, then Texas(1830's).
Even have some documentation back to England and to Normandy (through the Royal Armory of England) Knighted by William the Conqueror after the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
Enough of my brag.
Ulysses90
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AG
Quote:

Have to smile at many of the comments here. Retired Marine (Mustang Officer)here, and my youngest son was hell bent to be a Marine 03 (grunt). We(including Mom)had discussions over the pros and cons (I had been retired 3 years, a retired officer, but several years enlisted time) and he was able to join the PLC program that fall as a Freshman. He was commissioned on his graduation from A&M and off to being a "grunt" with 2nd Marines as a Plt/Company commander over the next 4 plus years. Oldest son had finished his Master Degree when he called, we discussed the pros and cons joining the Corps. He was off to OCS within 10 days and now has 23 plus years as a Marine Officer.
Move forward to 2017 and Grandson is a HS senior, is bound and determined to be a Marine (4th generation), father and grandfather discussed the pros and cons and he was off to Boot Camp the week after graduation from High School. He wasn't up for college, average grades in high school (excellent grades in courses he liked). Scored exceptionally high on ASVAP. Very vocal to discipline, to be exact a smart a--,
that changed with Boot Camp. Was there for his graduation (same week as UCLA football game) and a changed young man as to attitude.
The Marine Corps will not hurt the youngster. He will ask himself in the first couple days at MCRD, "what The hell have I done".
As for your concern for death in combat? I was always amazed by my Mom's attitude. She saw 8 sons and one son-in-law serve in combat over 3 wars. I was the youngest. She never complained,(in WWII) she saw my oldest brother wounded in the S.Pacific in 1942; next brother made 3 combat jumps with 82nd Airborne (Sicily,DDay, & Market Garden) wounded twice; brother-in-law was company commander with Patton's 3rd Army, wounded and captured at the Battle of the Bulge; 3rd brother landed on DDAY and the push into Germany and survived with a whole body. In Korea, 4th brother KIA at the "frozen" Chosin; brothers 5 and 6 were lucky in their tours. Vietnam saw brother 7 with the 11th Air Assault, 1st Air Cav (had 5 Hueys shot out from under him); I served one 13 month tour in Vietnam with 3rd Marines as a Platoon Commander; then later, after receiving my "wings of gold", a tour flying combat missions in the F4 Phantom.
Mom never made a remark about the possibilities of loss of life. I was in elementary school when my brother was KIA and remember my mother's words to my father on the morning of 4 December 1950, she told him she had spoke to my brother at the front door that night and that he would not be coming home. My father sort of said "bull" and of course my Mom just went about her business, a month later the telegram arrived, that brother was KIA on 3 Dec 1950 - "a mother's intuition".
My father's attitude (WWI AEF veteran,9 months on the front in France/Belgium). He said it was your responsibility to serve your country, whether in the military or just being a good, everyday citizen. He would give you advice to help YOU make YOUR OWN DECISION(s). That's the key many here have stated. Advise, don't decide.

Semper Fi



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