We May Never Lose Again

3,057 Views | 16 Replies | Last: 6 yr ago by bigfooticus
switzerland
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The Cowboys Doomsday Defense. Pittsburghs Steel Curtain. The 2017 Texas Longhorn Defense. These are the kind of teams that instill fear in opponents weeks before the actual game. We shut out San Jose just one week after giving up 51. By my simple math skills and deductive reasoning that means USC will score -51 on Saturday. I think that even if our Hill Country Offense sputters a little we should be able to do better than -51.

The advantage of playing USC comes down to one thing and one thing only. How often will they show the Song Girls on TV. For you Ags they are the same as your Yell Leaders. Only they are hot women with tight asses and bountifully filled white sweaters. I wouldn't mind is USC scored 90 as long as they showed the Song Girls jumping up and down after every touchdown. In hindsite they are a little different than your Yell Leaders.

However, I predict our repetitive thrusting and thrashing deep into USC's territory will cause the Trojans to break leading us to a 69 to -51 victory. The win will be so convincing that it will give us momentum for victories throughout October and when the initial playoff rankings are announced they will create a new ranking system in our honor. We won't be #1 but instead we will be #.57. Maybe even 0.
0. Texas
1. Alabama
2. Penn State
3. Someone for us to crush in the first round.

Good luck to the Ags this week as well.

AgDotCom
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You should have saved the #0 stuff for a separate thread, it could be a masterpiece on its own. You'd think we'd have seen something like that on the internet by now. I haven't, and I'm laughing.
goodAg80
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AG
switzerland said:

The advantage of playing USC comes down to one thing and one thing only. How often will they show the Song Girls on TV. For you Ags they are the same as your Yell Leaders. Only they are hot women with tight asses and bountifully filled white sweaters. I wouldn't mind is USC scored 90 as long as they showed the Song Girls jumping up and down after every touchdown. In hindsite they are a little different than your Yell Leaders.

Apparently they cheer when horn scores too.

Ronnie Mund
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OMG CANT BREATHE LOL
BaileyAg
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Mathguy64
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AG
Love that pic. The two Song Girls on the left are looking over at her with the look of "are you really that freaking stupid? on their face.
ham98
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God Bless Switzerland!
AgOutsideAustin
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AG
Sweater puppies !
Matsui
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DentalAg
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In hindsite indeed...love it.
b_rad
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AG
I'm just assuming matthew will be on the sideline for this one too and will be the key motivational speaker before the sips take the field.
petey88
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he's a *****. A cousin dated him a few times before he got so famous and popular. She told us over about 10 years ago he was a wimp. She was a college kid in San Marcos
Schrute
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petey88 said:


he's a *****. A cousin dated him a few times before he got so famous and popular. She told us over about 10 years ago he was a wimp. She was a college kid in San Marcos
Rule 1 of cuz, please.
LonghornDub
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Switz never disappoints. Another masterpiece.
God made the country, and man made the town. William Cowper

Synopsis
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switzerland said:

The Cowboys Doomsday Defense. Pittsburghs Steel Curtain. The 2017 Texas Longhorn Defense. These are the kind of teams that instill fear in opponents weeks before the actual game. We shut out San Jose just one week after giving up 51. By my simple math skills and deductive reasoning that means USC will score -51 on Saturday. I think that even if our Hill Country Offense sputters a little we should be able to do better than -51.

The advantage of playing USC comes down to one thing and one thing only. How often will they show the Song Girls on TV. For you Ags they are the same as your Yell Leaders. Only they are hot women with tight asses and bountifully filled white sweaters. I wouldn't mind is USC scored 90 as long as they showed the Song Girls jumping up and down after every touchdown. In hindsite they are a little different than your Yell Leaders.

However, I predict our repetitive thrusting and thrashing deep into USC's territory will cause the Trojans to break leading us to a 69 to -51 victory. The win will be so convincing that it will give us momentum for victories throughout October and when the initial playoff rankings are announced they will create a new ranking system in our honor. We won't be #1 but instead we will be #.57. Maybe even 0.
0. Texas
1. Alabama
2. Penn State
3. Someone for us to crush in the first round.

Good luck to the Ags this week as well.


This is so funny. It reminds me of a guy on the Chicago Bears forums a few years back who went by the handle "one man swarm." The Same type of humor, and well-written posts. I salute you, sir.
goodAg80
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AG
Horn rank: still 0.

Good call Swiss
LonghornDub
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I'm counting on Switz to realize that preseason games mean nothing and the regular season starts next week.
God made the country, and man made the town. William Cowper

bigfooticus
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Quote:


0. Texas
1. Alabama
2. Penn State
3. Someone for us to crush in the first round
3. Clemson
4. USC


texas plays 'bye' first 2 weeks of the playoffs while 1-4 play for the honor to meet them for the championship in austin on Sunday, the day after the 2nd round games finish
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