Business & Investing
Sponsored by

Just a reminder to have a will signed and also go eat a salad for lunch

4,039 Views | 28 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by Rustys-Beef-o-Reeno
one MEEN Ag
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:47a, 10/18/21
AG
An older family member passed away this last week from an unexpected heart attack. No will. No kids, psuedo common law wife died years ago.

There's an estranged step son of the common law wife whose now calling him 'dad' posthumously. There's also a potential first wife from 40 years ago that maybe never got divorced. Nobody knows.

There's some family level assets set up by grandparents that are at stake. The surviving family is slightly concerned the step son is going to use an ambulance chasing lawyer to blow up the estate, produce a fake will or a real will nobody ever knew about.

Handshake agreements don't count. A will on file would have put this to rest at the same time he was.
Reply Quote
13
2 edits
cjsag94
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to one MEEN Ag • 11:24a, 10/18/21
AG
Hear, hear!!! So sad when this easily preventable stuff happens.. frustrating and usually even worse when people get it done, but it's by an incompetent attorney creating more problems than it solves.

Sorry you are going to be dealing with this, I hope the right people prevail.
Reply Quote
3
azul_rain
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:33a, 10/18/21
Also don't be deadbeat and cut your kids out of the will for your wife you married 5 months ago
Reply Quote
7
harge57
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to azul_rain • 11:40a, 10/18/21
AG
hedge said:
Also don't be deadbeat and cut your kids out of the will for your wife you married 5 months ago


What if your kids are dicks?
Reply Quote
42
1 edit
azul_rain
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to harge57 • 11:43a, 10/18/21
Maybe their behavior was warranted
Reply Quote
11
Carlo4
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to harge57 • 1:34p, 10/18/21
AG
harge57 said:
hedge said:
Also don't be deadbeat and cut your kids out of the will for your wife you married 5 months ago


What if your kids are dicks?
Adults are worse dicks We have disowned my uncle, my aunt, and their two kids permanently.

11 years go, my uncle used a family emergency to forcefully update his mom's will. He convinced his mom to change the will to take my mom out of equal inheritance of the family business on her death for not being able to handle the stress. At the time, my mom had the potential for losing her husband to pneumonia and mother to cancer in the same month (thankfully, that didn't happen).

Upon discovery long after her mom's passing, my mom's old teacher contacts knew several big shot attorneys that cater to the wealthy/famous for business cases. They said we would certainly win any lawsuit, but it would ruin the business and everyone's personal wealth to that point.

Decided it wasn't worth it.


_______

As of today, my uncle's kids are now learning the family trade. They will be "equal" partners. We own a minority stake but get nothing based on the voting rights of my uncle, which is passed to his kids equally.

Upon the first parent's death, I plan on sending those kids both a letter about what happened in hopes of turning them against each other. That would be revenge enough for me.





Reply Quote
3
LCE
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to azul_rain • 1:34p, 10/18/21
AG
Had a client w about $1.5 million in coverage w me. His Wife died from long cancer battle and within 2 months he was already married to some gold digger he met at his church. He wanted to make her primary bene and not kids. Wouldn't listen to me about waiting etc.

Month later I go to office at 7:30 am and she is waiting outside. Client had stroke and died around 1am and she was wanting to know how to "collect" the money.

Kids not real happy.
Reply Quote
13
azul_rain
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to LCE • 1:38p, 10/18/21
Yea my idiots stepmom convinced my idiot dad that only having one beneficiary for everything makes it smoother. She says she won't cut my siblings and I out but I'm not holding my breath. Been doing research on any ways around this but it's pretty airtight
Reply Quote
1
LCE
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to azul_rain • 2:07p, 10/18/21
AG
Yep. Y'all might be ****ed.
Reply Quote
6
ABATTBQ11
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to LCE • 4:09p, 10/18/21
AG
LCE said:
Had a client w about $1.5 million in coverage w me. His Wife died from long cancer battle and within 2 months he was already married to some gold digger he met at his church. He wanted to make her primary bene and not kids. Wouldn't listen to me about waiting etc.

Month later I go to office at 7:30 am and she is waiting outside. Client had stroke and died around 1am and she was wanting to know how to "collect" the money.

Kids not real happy.


"I'm sorry, he hadn't signed anything yet..."
Reply Quote
htxag09
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to azul_rain • 4:25p, 10/18/21
AG
hedge said:
Yea my idiots stepmom convinced my idiot dad that only having one beneficiary for everything makes it smoother. She says she won't cut my siblings and I out but I'm not holding my breath. Been doing research on any ways around this but it's pretty airtight
But why does that make him a deadbeat? I mean it sucks and maybe isn't right, but is the deadbeat the guy who changed the beneficiaries or the kids assuming they should get something?

I kind of get it, my mom passed away a year ago, my dad is already dating. Your scenario would upset me, but more because money my mom worked hard for is now going to some skank, not because it's not going to me. The way I see it, my parents worked their ass off and sacrificed a lot to get me and my siblings to where we are; which is in a position in which we've built our own success and don't need to rely on inheritance. And I don't want any inheritance. I wanted them, now just my dad, to enjoy themselves and do whatever the hell they want. Don't worry about saving squat for me.
Reply Quote
3
azul_rain
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to htxag09 • 4:32p, 10/18/21
There's other reasons I'm just not gonna go into them. I don't really care about the money, he could give it to my siblings for all I care. It's the principal
Reply Quote
3
1 edit
Petrino1
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to one MEEN Ag • 5:21p, 10/18/21
one MEEN Ag said:
An older family member passed away this last week from an unexpected heart attack. No will. No kids, psuedo common law wife died years ago.

There's an estranged step son of the common law wife whose now calling him 'dad' posthumously. There's also a potential first wife from 40 years ago that maybe never got divorced. Nobody knows.

There's some family level assets set up by grandparents that are at stake. The surviving family is slightly concerned the step son is going to use an ambulance chasing lawyer to blow up the estate, produce a fake will or a real will nobody ever knew about.

Handshake agreements don't count. A will on file would have put this to rest at the same time he was.
Any idea how much his estate is worth?
Reply Quote
one MEEN Ag
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to azul_rain • 5:43p, 10/18/21
AG
hedge said:
There's other reasons I'm just not gonna go into them. I don't really care about the money, he could give it to my siblings for all I care. It's the principal


And the principle.
Reply Quote
27
RockOn
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:47p, 10/18/21
My dad and I have had the talk. I have a copy of the will, and the combination to the safe with the original. I know everything he wants done, and I have all important phone numbers of who needs to be contacted when the time comes.
Reply Quote
1
cjsag94
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:18p, 10/18/21
AG
Until the new wife convinces him to take care of her.. writes a new will (more recent date) and trumps all you have. Seen it far too many times.
Reply Quote
2
Ranger1743
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:16a, 10/20/21
AG
I avoid these situations primarily by having parents with no assets.
Reply Quote
31
one MEEN Ag
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Petrino1 • 8:56a, 10/20/21
AG
ea1060 said:
one MEEN Ag said:
An older family member passed away this last week from an unexpected heart attack. No will. No kids, psuedo common law wife died years ago.

There's an estranged step son of the common law wife whose now calling him 'dad' posthumously. There's also a potential first wife from 40 years ago that maybe never got divorced. Nobody knows.

There's some family level assets set up by grandparents that are at stake. The surviving family is slightly concerned the step son is going to use an ambulance chasing lawyer to blow up the estate, produce a fake will or a real will nobody ever knew about.

Handshake agreements don't count. A will on file would have put this to rest at the same time he was.
Any idea how much his estate is worth?
Not much, which is why he didn't have a will. I don't believe he ever took his ownership stake in the vacation home serious enough to declare it to heirs. He never saw any money coming in from it, nor extracted from him to pay for things. The admin work was always done by another sibling.

If anything, this spills over into a hard lesson learned for everyone that the house needs to be placed in a trust. So you're not relying solely on well worded wills by all parties.

This next generation is going to get hairy, as the the surviving siblings each had kids that now have kids. The current siblings really only have one good shot (now) to put it into a trust before the next one passes and it gets passed to the next generation.

And by the way, this isn't some breckenridge house. Its just the grandparents home that has remained in the family and happens to be near a place some people vacation to. Someone trying to lever money out of it would be more acrimonious from a sentimental value of losing the grandparents home moreso than just having to cough up the money.
Reply Quote
2 edits
YouBet
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:29a, 10/20/21
AG
These situations are so common. We went through this briefly with my FIL. My MIL dies and he's married within 1 year. His new wife (lifelong friend of the family) literally brought him a mourning casserole on Friday night, out of the blue, and he proposes to her on Sunday. Most stereotypical old person story ever.

He added a carve out for her in his will but my wife and his financial/legal people ultimately convinced him to take it back out. She ended up leaving the situation afterwards once she realized she wasn't going to get anything out of it.

Most men simply can't live on their own so these remarries are out of convenience and a need for support in many cases. My FIL did this solely to replace a wife who previously did everything for him.
Reply Quote
3
The Collective
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to azul_rain • 11:29a, 10/20/21
AG
hedge said:
Also don't be deadbeat and cut your kids out of the will for your wife you married 5 months ago


What if she has a great rack though? Sometimes you lose when you pick the annuity option with wife version 2.0.
Reply Quote
2
1 edit
combat wombat™
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to YouBet • 12:26a, 10/23/21
AG
IF step son or 1st wife end up with a "legit" claim, it may be cheaper in the long run to buy out their share of the vacation home than to fight it.
Reply Quote
YouBet
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to combat wombat™ • 9:27a, 10/23/21
AG
combat wombat said:
IF step son or 1st wife end up with a "legit" claim, it may be cheaper in the long run to buy out their share of the vacation home than to fight it.
True.
Reply Quote
Duncan Idaho
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to YouBet • 10:35a, 10/23/21
YouBet said:
These situations are so common. We went through this briefly with my FIL. My MIL dies and he's married within 1 year. His new wife (lifelong friend of the family) literally brought him a mourning casserole on Friday night, out of the blue, and he proposes to her on Sunday. Most stereotypical old person story ever.

He added a carve out for her in his will but my wife and his financial/legal people ultimately convinced him to take it back out. She ended up leaving the situation afterwards once she realized she wasn't going to get anything out of it.

Most men simply can't live on their own so these remarries are out of convenience and a need for support in many cases. My FIL did this solely to replace a wife who previously did everything for him.

I know a few guys like this. They literally can't survive a week with their wife out of town. Hell a weekend is a challenge. These are middle aged empty nesters. So no kids to deal with.

The thing I find ironic is that they consider themselves to completely self sufficient and able to handle anything. And they are, as long as those things fall within the traditional male roles or can be outsourced.
Reply Quote
1 edit
azul_rain
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Duncan Idaho • 10:38a, 10/23/21
My buddy is like this, I swear to god he's never been single longer than a month since we were 12
you may all go to hell and i will go to Texas
Reply Quote
YouBet
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Duncan Idaho • 10:46a, 10/23/21
AG
Duncan Idaho said:
YouBet said:
These situations are so common. We went through this briefly with my FIL. My MIL dies and he's married within 1 year. His new wife (lifelong friend of the family) literally brought him a mourning casserole on Friday night, out of the blue, and he proposes to her on Sunday. Most stereotypical old person story ever.

He added a carve out for her in his will but my wife and his financial/legal people ultimately convinced him to take it back out. She ended up leaving the situation afterwards once she realized she wasn't going to get anything out of it.

Most men simply can't live on their own so these remarries are out of convenience and a need for support in many cases. My FIL did this solely to replace a wife who previously did everything for him.

I know a few guys like this. They literally can't survive a week with their wife out of town. Hell a weekend is a challenge. These are middle aged empty nesters. So no kids to deal with.

The thing I find ironic is that they consider themselves to completely self sufficient and able to handle anything. And they are, as long as those things fall within the traditional male roles or can be outsourced.
Yep. My FIL was a bit worse in that regard though. He outsourced everything. Couldn't really do anything on his own except dress himself. He would have died on his own out of personal neglect except that dementia got to him first forcing our hand.

He's in memory care now.
Reply Quote
combat wombat™
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:07a, 10/23/21
AG
Some men don't need a wife, they need staff.
Reply Quote
1
htxag09
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:18a, 10/23/21
AG
I think some of yall are being a little harsh. My dad has been with my mom since they were 18. He's literally never lived alone. When my mom passed away last year, my siblings and I took turns/made a kind of rotation to stay with him for a few months. He didn't even know how to pay bills. Worst part was my mom was a pain in the ass and mailed checks for everything she could! So I got the run task of figuring out accounts, passwords, and setting everything up for him. Yes, it's kind of sad, but it's just the way they worked. She handled some things he handled others.

All that being said, he still found a girlfriend within a few months. It's just a big void and people don't know how to handle it. We just continue to be there for him but let him live his life how he wants.
Reply Quote
YouBet
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to htxag09 • 11:45a, 10/23/21
AG
htxag09 said:
I think some of yall are being a little harsh. My dad has been with my mom since they were 18. He's literally never lived alone. When my mom passed away last year, my siblings and I took turns/made a kind of rotation to stay with him for a few months. He didn't even know how to pay bills. Worst part was my mom was a pain in the ass and mailed checks for everything she could! So I got the run task of figuring out accounts, passwords, and setting everything up for him. Yes, it's kind of sad, but it's just the way they worked. She handled some things he handled others.

All that being said, he still found a girlfriend within a few months. It's just a big void and people don't know how to handle it. We just continue to be there for him but let him live his life how he wants.
Yeah, I get that and I wasn't trying to be harsh on my FIL. Similar situation here. They met in college and were married for 40 years. Their relationship was classic 1950's where she handled all home and administrative stuff. He simply did not know how to do it. He was a C suite guy with the homemaker wife.

In hindsight, his dementia was already creeping in when she passed away so that didn't help matters. We just didn't know it at the time so I am probably being a little unfair regarding his ability to take care of himself after her death. When this other lady showed up on his doorstep I think he just saw her as a solution that would relieve him from having to worry about the day to day things again. We think he knew he had mental issues but he was never going to admit it or tell us about it.
Reply Quote
NoahAg
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:52p, 10/25/21
Also, don't count on inheritance as part of you retirement planning.
Reply Quote
6
Rustys-Beef-o-Reeno
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:38p, 10/26/21
AG
Set up a trust, skip probate and the bull****, this can be done for all in less than 5k.
Reply Quote
2
Refresh
Page 1 of 1
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.