It also helps to get advice from former cast members...
We recently went when my girls were then 2 and 4 towards late spring.
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What should we absolutely see and/or do?
If you're asking about this, I'm assuming you've never been. I'd set up your fast passes for later in the day than when you plan to make it to the park. This is kind of contradictory to what everyone suggests just because you'll have less fast passes available for any given day, however it gives you guys a chance to absorb the Disney atmosphere at your own space. To each their own, but I've always thought it was a bad idea to rush through the park to make it to your first fast pass attraction because you miss everything that the main gate area that each park offers. If you're at Magic Kingdom there's a cart on the left hand side of the park near the Post Office where you can grab a button that says "first time visitor" or "happy birthday" or "happy anniversary". It's kind of a cool memento that you can grab that won't cost you a thing. Sometimes there's characters you can take pictures with as you're entering the park or also bathrooms just in case someone needs to go right away.
Because you'll be there during spring, I'd suggest visiting EPCOT for their Spring Flower and Garden show. They typically spruce up the landscape a tad bit more during these times.
I had to remind myself that sometimes the simplest things is the best entertainment with kids. My girls gave us fits about having to leave "The Boneyard" at the Animal Kingdom. It's a huge play area for kids with a "boneyard" that's filled with little smooth pebbles in a covered cool area where you can relax and hang out. If you plan to come here, make sure to visit Restaurantosaurus before because they serve kids lunches in a bucket with a little shovel that can be used at "The Boneyard".
Lastly, take your time and enjoy the atmosphere!
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If you could only see/do one thing what would you do?
If I could narrow it down (which is very hard to do), I'd narrow it down to 2 things: meeting Mickey Mouse at Town Square Theater in the Magic Kingdom and a character dining experience. For the longest time, characters in the parks have been forbidden to talk, but when you meet Mickey Mouse here, he talks! Now, the person in the costume doesn't actually talk, it's a recording, but nevertheless he'll interact with you and your kids and it's really fun to have that experience.
A character dining experience in my mind is a must too just because you don't really have to wait a long time to take pictures and/or interact with characters in the park. It's more relaxed and they spend more time with your family taking pictures or signing an autograph.
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What should we pass on doing?
The first thing that comes to mind is overloading your day. While at Disney with kids, I've seen parents and kids go ballistic over the littlest of things as a result of trying to do too much while you're there. It's good to plan but also be flexibile and not freak out if you miss a thing or two. Be nice to Cast Members and they'll be nice to you. It's really hard to pin point to pass on doing Attraction A or Attraction B not knowing your personality, but just remember that keeping it simple is the best way to go in my opinion.
Good luck and have fun!
