To begin, I'll say that I don't want this post to trigger or upset anyone, so if discussing/reading mental illness is difficult, please consider skipping over. I realize this is taboo and not talked about too much so I apologize in advance if I'm overstepping. At the same time, everyone always says if you need to talk, need help, to reach out.
I am looking for help.
The more practical the better. If there are physicians, counselors, therapists, etc. that can offer some suggestions or direction that might help. Other support is appreciated - anyone who may have experience and what's worked for them.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in 2009 and have struggled with it for ~12 years. I have been on and off different medications during that time (currently on since 2017). It took a while to accept, but I'm there. I take responsibility for it and whatever problems it causes.
Other things I do to mitigate effects or symptoms:
All these things take time, money, and/or effort.
For those that don't know there are different diagnosis in the bipolar realm. The best way to describe bipolar 2 is lower "highs" and lower "lows". For me, I'm very rarely manic and generally hypomanic, a much less severe version of mania. The lows are extremely difficult for me.
The illness seemed somewhat manageable at first, but still not easy; however, it feels degenerative as it's gotten worse as I've gotten older, particularly the last 3 years or so. I went through a divorce in 2018, and became a single dad to two kids through that. That has been a very hard transition. Obviously the divorce was very difficult. I lost a friend, a wife, and a big part of my support system.
This is affecting all parts of my life now - professionally (I am employed full-time), financially, socially, my relationship with my kids. All the stress of those things + managing the mental illness itself is a lot. I'm depressed most days, feel empty and life has really lost meaning for me. The only thing keeping me going is my kids and even that wanes sometimes. Depression not only affects my mood, but means low energy - difficult to make it to work, difficult to do chores at home, difficult to take care of my personal business/bills. It all seems pointless. Mornings are the hardest for some reason. I wake up feeling pretty sad and hopeless. Suicidal ideation has always been in my head since the very beginning. It's the reason I sought help at the beginning. I've never made an attempt but have thought about how I'd do it, where, who would find me, what I'd need to take care of ahead of time. I have the hotline numbers and I've called them in the past when things have really been bad. I actually admitted myself to the hospital once to be safe. I'd say suicidal ideation is pretty much a daily experience for me. On the days it's not, I feel incredibly blessed - those are great days for me.
Apologies for being all over the place. And I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for help and answers. I feel pretty desperate and I just want to fix it or improve things. I've accepted there's no "cure" but it's getting very hard to even have a normal or enjoyable life. I don't want to live like this forever.
Sorry again for the heavy topic. Like I said, just looking for help, suggestions, ideas.
I am looking for help.
The more practical the better. If there are physicians, counselors, therapists, etc. that can offer some suggestions or direction that might help. Other support is appreciated - anyone who may have experience and what's worked for them.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in 2009 and have struggled with it for ~12 years. I have been on and off different medications during that time (currently on since 2017). It took a while to accept, but I'm there. I take responsibility for it and whatever problems it causes.
Other things I do to mitigate effects or symptoms:
- speak with a psychologist every 1-2 weeks
- read/research online, from magazines, books, etc.
- exercise no less than 2-3 days a week
- journal and mood mapping
- outdoor activities
- a weekly support group
All these things take time, money, and/or effort.
For those that don't know there are different diagnosis in the bipolar realm. The best way to describe bipolar 2 is lower "highs" and lower "lows". For me, I'm very rarely manic and generally hypomanic, a much less severe version of mania. The lows are extremely difficult for me.
The illness seemed somewhat manageable at first, but still not easy; however, it feels degenerative as it's gotten worse as I've gotten older, particularly the last 3 years or so. I went through a divorce in 2018, and became a single dad to two kids through that. That has been a very hard transition. Obviously the divorce was very difficult. I lost a friend, a wife, and a big part of my support system.
This is affecting all parts of my life now - professionally (I am employed full-time), financially, socially, my relationship with my kids. All the stress of those things + managing the mental illness itself is a lot. I'm depressed most days, feel empty and life has really lost meaning for me. The only thing keeping me going is my kids and even that wanes sometimes. Depression not only affects my mood, but means low energy - difficult to make it to work, difficult to do chores at home, difficult to take care of my personal business/bills. It all seems pointless. Mornings are the hardest for some reason. I wake up feeling pretty sad and hopeless. Suicidal ideation has always been in my head since the very beginning. It's the reason I sought help at the beginning. I've never made an attempt but have thought about how I'd do it, where, who would find me, what I'd need to take care of ahead of time. I have the hotline numbers and I've called them in the past when things have really been bad. I actually admitted myself to the hospital once to be safe. I'd say suicidal ideation is pretty much a daily experience for me. On the days it's not, I feel incredibly blessed - those are great days for me.
Apologies for being all over the place. And I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for help and answers. I feel pretty desperate and I just want to fix it or improve things. I've accepted there's no "cure" but it's getting very hard to even have a normal or enjoyable life. I don't want to live like this forever.
Sorry again for the heavy topic. Like I said, just looking for help, suggestions, ideas.