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How do the rest of you middle aged people with kids do it?

9,744 Views | 92 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by htxag09
jetescamilla
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I'm in my mid 30's with two kids aged 4 and 6 and I've noticed a definite reduction in my general physic. Now, I know it's a combination of age, metabolism, eating, etc, but I want to know how adults with kids and similar responsibilities have time to work out and stay in decent shape? I don't live in large city so I don't deal with commute times like others, I work in a government job so my quitting time is 4:30PM which i'm sure is much earlier that most of you all, and on top of all that I live in Alaska with hundreds of miles of trails at my disposal.

I don't want to blame my children...but I will. Man are they time sinks. After work it's picking them up from school, one has dance, the other boys scouts, they're both in "pre basketball", on weekends we have birthday parties, etc. Holy cow! they're not even teens yet who are participating in organized sports. I'd like to know how other parents can actually juggle this?

That being said, my wife and I play rec volleyball, hike on weekends, and stay active with our kids. We no longer seem to have time for a gym. The benifit to living in AK is that we've cooked more than we ever have so our eating out has been drastically reduced these past 5 years.

I'm not trying to get "jacked" or anything but I'd like to lose some weight (15-20lbs) and tighten things up a bit. I'd appreciate any advice or discussion on what others have experienced.
Kool
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jetescamilla
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Thanks autocorrect
c-jags
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jetescamilla said:

I'm in my mid 30's with two kids aged 4 and 6 and I've noticed a definite reduction in my general physic. Now, I know it's a combination of age, metabolism, eating, etc, but I want to know how adults with kids and similar responsibilities have time to work out and stay in decent shape? I don't live in large city so I don't deal with commute times like others, I work in a government job so my quitting time is 4:30PM which i'm sure is much earlier that most of you all, and on top of all that I live in Alaska with hundreds of miles of trails at my disposal.

I don't want to blame my children...but I will. Man are they time sinks. After work it's picking them up from school, one has dance, the other boys scouts, they're both in "pre basketball", on weekends we have birthday parties, etc. Holy cow! they're not even teens yet who are participating in organized sports. I'd like to know how other parents can actually juggle this?

That being said, my wife and I play rec volleyball, hike on weekends, and stay active with our kids. We no longer seem to have time for a gym. The benifit to living in AK is that we've cooked more than we ever have so our eating out has been drastically reduced these past 5 years.

I'm not trying to get "jacked" or anything but I'd like to lose some weight (15-20lbs) and tighten things up a bit. I'd appreciate any advice or discussion on what others have experienced.


I want to start by saying it's not an uncommon thing at your kid's ages. You're in a tough time for sure. I was in my late 20s though at your stage as I had 2 kids by the time I was 25.

It is a stage for sure. And you need to realize that first and foremost. You're not at a time where either of you want to leave your spouse to deal with two kiddos while you go out galavanting multiple times a week.

I started losing some weight around those ages for your kids but it was hard and I had to do it at odd hours. Mainly insanity and p90x. Never left the house.

I now run almost exclusively (little bit of lifting) and get 20-30 miles a week and my wife plays tennis and does HIIT classes 3-4 times a week. But my kids are 12 and 10. They can be left alone or I know that they can entertain themselves in such a way that it's not a drain for my wife and it's not for me.

I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't feel bad for being in that stage. It's just a part of life.

That being said, if you're really wanting to get after it, you're both going to need to get creative. I wake up early. My wife went to a gym with child care. We did insanity workouts during my kids naps or after they were in bed.

Don't know if that's any help, but good luck.
aggie appraiser
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Enjoy your kids and don't worry about it.
SJEAg
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I've done the bulk of my weight loss (50lbs) and marathon training while my kids were 5 and 6.

1) Run or work out at lunch (work gym) every day
2) Run after they go to bed at 8pm.
That's 2hrs a day.
3) Long run starting at 4:45am on Sundays. Back by 8am breakfast.

That gets me 50-70 miles a week.

Granted, I don't have any other personal hobbies other than Aggie football these days. It's family life, work, and exercise for me.
jetescamilla
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Lol, yes we do love our kids and very much enjoy our time with them. This age of 4 and 6 has been extremely fun for me finally being able to get them into sports and doing hiking, and fishing.

I appreciate the insight and the fact that I'm not totally alone in this. I do agree that we're in this weird situation where my wife and I don't want to ditch each other so we can each go workout. We got into this relationship so we can do things together not apart from one another. You hit the nail on the head there at a stage where they can't be left alone .

During the lunch I've been doing hikes up a trail near my office. I've never been much of a runner, so I don't see myself doing that. But I am doing quite a bit of work elevation gain. I'm getting in about 4 miles if I'm speedy and the ice doesn't Slow Me Down. But what are you eating for lunch? I can do this now but come summer time I don't want be sweaty and going back to the office.

Before kids my wife and I do P90X enjoyed that. We thought about picking that up and doing that all over again and that may be the route we go. It seems as though at this point I'm regulated to home workouts just based on my personal restrictions
c-jags
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P90x and Insanity are great home bound programs.
BQ2001
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I have an almost 5yo and I've gotten myself in my best shape in about 10 years.
I've been running every day for 100+ days. If I can't run at lunch I'll run after my daughter goes to bed. I just get it in one way or another. Most of my miles lately have been on the treadmill. Sucked at first but it's easy now.

I also got a Peloton and it's been great. Even better have been the other digital classes. Strength, running, yoga etc.

most important to me is the eating less. I still don't eat perfect I just eat less. If we go out to eat I'll take half home now instead of eating all of it and other peoples.
Ragoo
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I have been eating frozen cauliflower, broccoli, and chicken pieces with Tony's at work lunch.

I run 3.1 miles and lift every day at lunch.

Take Metamucil every night.
Seven Costanza
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You don't need to work out at all to lose weight. If you do want to work out, you can wear yourself out in about 5 minutes with HIIT stuff (7 rounds of 10 squats and 10 burpees, for example).

Figure out how many calories you burn in a day without extra exercise. Subtract 500 from that. Eat that amount of calories permanently. It's easier if you don't eat breakfast, then eat a very light lunch (<500 calories). Eat the rest at dinner. You'll adjust to it. It's not that you're "on a diet".; it's just how you eat from now until you die. Eating less does not require effort. It requires discipline. Commit to a lifestyle change if you want to lose weight.
AggieOO
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I'm a newbie, so maybe I have no idea what is in store, but my daughter was born in August, I ran a 100 miler in October. Currently training for another hundred in July.

Only have one kid, and I'm lucky with a flexible job... however, I honestly believe you have time for what you want. If you really want to train, there is time early in the morning or after the kid is asleep. My wife does endurance stuff too, so we have to balance things.

I haven't missed a workout in a month, but I wouldn't think twice about missing one if it was at the expense of my wife or kid.
AgEng06
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You have to make it a priority if you really want it. I have kids ages 3 and 7. I get up at 4 am to workout while they are sleeping because it's the only time I have. I get back home a little after 6 am, shower, and help get the kids to school and go to work.

I know I won't have time in the evening, so I don't even try.
Phat32
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Absolutely a priority and scheduling thing. It is definitely not as easy to find triathlon training time now, but here's how we do it:

-communicate - make sure we are both on same page about plan for that week

- give her time- I'll do trainer work and let her go to gym

- don't be a ***** - you are going to have to get up early if you have a 3 hour ride on Sunday

The time that is gone is the afternoon "oh I'll just go for a 2 hour cruise" stuff, but it's more than replaced by awesome time with kids.

The people I see have the hardest time with this are those that don't like to get up early.
AggieChemist
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42 with a 10 year old. I get up at 5 because that's the only time I'm my day I can.
Vernada
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I think it's all about priorities. You see a plenty of people pick their kids up from after school care, take them to gym childcare, and then head home. For us, we prefer to spend as much time as possible with our kids so that doesn't work for us. Sounds like it doesn't work for you either. Don't sweat it.
Hoosegow
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Lol. Wait until you are 40. You will find time for what is important
Class of '94
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Robert C. Christian
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AgEng06 said:

You have to make it a priority if you really want it. I have kids ages 3 and 7. I get up at 4 am to workout while they are sleeping because it's the only time I have. I get back home a little after 6 am, shower, and help get the kids to school and go to work.

I know I won't have time in the evening, so I don't even try.
I am in the same boat. Up between 4-5 AM most weekdays so I can workout, shower, and be ready for the kiddo to be up around 6. I tried working out after we put her down but, it never felt right. The early mornings suck at first but it isn't so bad now. Like many posters have said it is all about priorities. Now that we have a young one it limits my weeknight options so most night I am out by 10. That makes the early mornings a little easier.
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Coppell97
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Easy solution: get up 30 mins earlier in the morning and do some HIIT workouts. Working out first thing in the morning ensures you get your workout in. Rest of day is work and family time.
newhowdyag2004
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I'll preface that with my wife staying at home, things are a lot easier. But, I've been more focused since our daughter was born (she's 8 months, I turned 37 today!). I'm working out 6 days a week, dialed in on my diet, and feel the best I have in many years.

For me, I want our daughter to be proud of me, and I want to set an example of discipline for her. I want her to be proud to say "that's my dad" when I'm in the stands (yes she mighr if I was 80 lbs overweight, but my mom was obese and the jokes were tough).
ATM9000
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SoupNazi2001 said:

Once you are 40+ diet is like 90% of the battle anyway. Don't be a weekend warrior and never see your kids. I know some dads like this.


This. If you want really impactful weight loss, gotta look at your diet. I have weeks where I'm able to easily go to the gym 6 days a week and still see the kiddos and family. Others (like this one) I was only able to manage getting a workout in twice. What that means is I have to curtail my diet a little bit that week.
borski99
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Diet is the biggest thing, we use the calorie tracker app Myfitnesspal and set a daily limit of 200 calories under the limit, and allow some cheat days each week. I'm early 40s and lost 10 lbs last year, also make it a habit to hit the gym every saturday and sunday morning if we are at home for strength and flexibility.

A big thing is your kids are growing into the ages where they can watch after themselves more, and you can more easily carve out time for yourself. Just don't overeat or drink and do some fitness each week and you'll be doing better than 80% of americans
aggiebrad94
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47 year old
3 kids - 17, 15, & 10.

Very hard. I was fortunate for a few years to have a great gym at work. Now that I don't, I just try to do quick strength training in the early evenings.

It's a season. I plan on doing more as my daughters move on to college and then my son will be middle school age and ready to start lifting. Once he gets mature enough to start lifting weights, I'll add more to the home gym.

Diet is my killer but I also know it is the key.
Beckdiesel03
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It is tough. My husband works out at lunch. That doesn't work for me and the best time for me to hit the gym is at 4pm when the daycare opens back up. However my oldest son complains and I don't blame him bc he sat all day at school and doesn't want to sit in a baby daycare when he could be outside running and playing. Then when baseball, basketball or anything else comes up that also ruins it and my workouts get put on the backburner. So I take the kids bike riding in the park while I walk or jog and then do a lot of HIIT stuff at home. But even then they are right there and in my face and I'm falling over them or the dogs. I look forward to the summer when I can get to the gym in the afternoon and not have mom guilt.
newhowdyag2004
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Sounds like most of you need to jump on the 430 am wake up call and workout then. It sucks at first, but you quickly acclimate.
stuckinaustinAG
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I have 12 and 8 year old and upper 30s. For the past few years it's been much easier as we can leave the kids home while we go work out. That said, enjoy hanging out with your family at this age and don't worry about it.

I would focus on middle of the week healthy meals and get my exercise by going for a run but letting the kids come along on a bike.

BTW, I am not a model fitness parent by any means but I also know how great it is when the kids are young and you do everything together (before phones, computers, video games, and friends come in to the picture).
chipotle
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I'm 41 with a 3 year old and 3 month old. Pray for Mojo.
Aston04
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Kids- 9, 6,5, and 2. Age: 37. Male. Dropped from 208 to 178 in less than 2 years. All about priorities. With YouTube, you can do at home 30 minute workouts (free) to fit in almost any schedule. I mix in usually 1-3 runs per week, in addition to working out most other days when I can.

But like others said, the biggest key is diet. Your diet won't be perfect, but just make an effort to start making more smart choices. Less pop and fast food. Make an effort to consume more super foods like broccoli, spinach, salad, etc.
Disco Stu
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45 year old father of two sets of twins (4.5 years and 2.5 years). I get up between 4:30 and 5:00 six days a week to work out. I have been doing this for about three years now and am probably in the best shape that I have ever been in my life.
RG20
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Did it when I worked offshore. Nice to get it out of the way early but man was I tanked by noon. Plus I've read some articles that claim working out in the morning can be dangerous since it's tougher to get warmed up.
newhowdyag2004
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That may be true, but get up early enough TO warm up. I get up at 430 so that I can have an hour to wake up and clear the mind before I start the w/o. Also, testosterone levels are the highest in the morning.
P.U.T.U
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Wake up before anyone else does and get a 30 minute workout in. Doesn't matter what but get moving and heart rate up. Between that and your diet you can knock off that fat before summer.

There are some studies about doing 15 minute HIIT workouts burn more fat than 30-45 minutes slow and steady. I have never tried but when in doubt go hard.

It is also just a phase, I did not go to bed until 2 this morning since the smallest one is sick and did not want to sleep. Instead of popping out a workout I slept in a little and will try to do something later.
ShinerBlonde
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I'm 38 and I have a 9 year old and a 12 year old and their dad lives out of town. I work 8-5 and they both have after school activities. Sometimes I run/workout while they are at the activity. Sometimes it's getting up early and doing it before work and at least once a week they come with me to whatever I'm doing (gym, track, workout at the park, etc). I've explained that we are a family and everyone gets to do what they want to do some of the time (including mom) but not all the time. The schedule changes week to week based on what we have going on but you just have to make the time.
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