Entertaining Craigslist Ads

3,577 Views | 12 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by Centerpole90
TxAg20
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I searched for something like this, but didn't find anything. I don't know if that's because it doesn't exist on the Auto Board or if the search function sucks. Occasionally, I stumble upon humorous Craigslist ads. I don't actually find them, but I find them posted in other places after someone else discovered them on Craigslist. I think there should be a thread for these. I'll start:

https://anchorage.craigslist.org/cto/6125900738.html


I guess I should copy and paste as Craigslist ads don't last forever:


Quote:

Adorable van, reverse-averse, for trade/OBO



I bought this 1988 Toyota cargo van in Woods Hole, Ma, in 2007 for $500. It has 180,000 miles and won't go in reverse.

Before the van, I was driving the Chevy S-10 I inherited in high school, but it caught on fire and the idle was all messed up. I got honked at for going too slow on the highway between Boston and Woods Hole, and pulled over for having a cracked windshield. That would never happen in Alaska.

I was hoping to find a van, because I needed a place to store my stuff during the leave of absence I was about to take from the MIT/WHOI PhD program. I kept breaking bones and concluded that grad school was not healthy for me, so I took the leave to reevaluate my life.

I test drove the van around the block, and thought the $800 asking price was reasonable. I offered $500. The seller asserted that it was worth $800. He was right, and I told him so, but I figured it was only worth a $500 gamble for me. He called me back the next day and I paid $500 cash. I filled the van with all my stuff, parked it in the far corner of a campus lot, and flew to Hawaii.

My first job during my leave of absence was with a construction crew in Hawaii. The owner asked what I was qualified to do, and I said I was in a geology PhD program. He said the only work he had for a geologist was digging ditches. I thought he was joking, so I borrowed framing tools and a belt for my first day on the job. At the work site, the boss looked at my tools, smiled, and gave me a shovel. I got to drive a backhoe a few times.

During my leave of absence I decided not to continue the PhD program. I'd return to MIT, write up my results, and leave with a Masters degree. I found the van untouched, all tires flat, but the engine fired right up. I didn't have any housing, so I spent some nights in the van, but most often I used a credit card to get into my old dorm room, unless my roommate was there, in which case he just let me in.

I started driving west. My dad bought me studded tires in Montana, and I had the brake lines flushed in Oregon. That was the last time the van needed maintenance.

I drove the Alaska-Canada highway in December. The van was too high-volume for the heater, so it was a very cold drive. I wore ski boot liners on my feet and wrapped up in blankets. My dad and grandma had given me jars of jam, fruit, and pickles in Montana, and to prevent them from freezing and exploding, I drove with them inside my jacket.

I met a cute girl who was also driving to Anchorage. She was driving a Subaru and had skis on the rack, which made me happy. I hoped to run into her again, with the intention of asking her to carry my jars, which would then give me an excuse to meet up with her again in Anchorage. Her sister is now engaged to my girlfriend's brother. That would happen in Alaska.

It was -40 at night, and I watched the northern lights for hours at a time. I wasn't staying warm enough sleeping in the van, so I splurged on a Bed & Breakfast in Whitehorse. In the morning it took 10 minutes for the van to get warm enough to shift into gear. That was the first time the van was reverse averse.

When I arrived in Anchorage and unloaded my stuff, I discovered that the empty van was a death trap on snow and ice. With the motor under the driver/passenger seats, and no weight in the back, I couldn't get any traction. I bought 300 lbs of gravel, left the gravel yard, spun out, and returned for another 100 lbs.

The big issue is clearly the transmission. It used to just take time to warm up: 10 minutes of driving before 3rd gear would kick in, another 5 minutes for 4th gear, and usually reverse by then too. But now it won't go into reverse, even when warm. The last time I left it running for 20 minutes it wouldn't go forward either.

I had two keys for the van, but I lost them. Fortunately, any Master Lock key works in the ignition.

The rear hatch never had a key, so I drilled holes through the frame where I could pass my bike U-lock through. Most bike locks will fit.

The turn signal arm will fall out if you pull it too hard. This is purely a mechanical issue, unlike the electrical problem of the Chevy S-10 turn signal. In the Chevy, you had to pull the turn signal and indicate a left hand turn to get the brights to go on.

It took me months to discover the van's windshield wiper fluid reservoir. It is above the rear right brake light. You have to be going over 40 mph for the fluid to hit the windshield, otherwise it just launches up over the van. With practice, you can hit the vehicle behind you.


The van's value is clearly immeasurable. I once traded a Subaru with a blown head gasket for a pair of skis, but the Subaru could still go in reverse. The van might only be worth some homemade canned goods. I love jam.
ShaggyAggie01
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On the left side of craigslist, they have a link to the best of craigslist. Worth checking for new stuff every now and again:
https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/
coolerguy12
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Quote:

You have to be going over 40 mph for the fluid to hit the windshield, otherwise it just launches up over the van

I don't know why but I lost it at this part.
KY AG
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AG
We kind of had one going last year, but it didn't have craigslist in the title so its nigh-impossible to find via search:

https://texags.com/forums/46/topics/2732952
KY AG
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AG
coolerguy12 said:

Quote:

You have to be going over 40 mph for the fluid to hit the windshield, otherwise it just launches up over the van

I don't know why but I lost it at this part.


Yeah, the whole windshield wiper fluid section had me lol'n.
Celee04
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coolerguy12 said:

Quote:

You have to be going over 40 mph for the fluid to hit the windshield, otherwise it just launches up over the van

I don't know why but I lost it at this part.
same here.. had to shut the door to my office not to draw attention
1agswitchin4lanes
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https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/cto/d/1980-catelack-brome-diesel/6445803638.html


Quote:

1980 catelack brome diesel - $15000 (spring grove)

This catty has a 350 diesel sweet car to drive always inside supper clean 12000 obo will trade for cattle to cars

Corps_Ag12
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Good god who would drive that?
drewser95
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Quote:

supper clean
Clean enough to eat supper off of.

The "brome" had me thrown at first -- I was imagining some kind of d-bag version of chrome. Then I remembered the "Brougham" badge on my great-grandmother's old Sedan deVille.
Complete Idiot
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I seem to remember reading about diesel's in some big late 70's early 80's sedans before, but it always kind of blows my mind. A 5.7L diesel in a Caddy - unique enough to be fun. You could set it up to roll some coal.
1agswitchin4lanes
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Complete Idiot said:

I seem to remember reading about diesel's in some big late 70's early 80's sedans before, but it always kind of blows my mind. A 5.7L diesel in a Caddy - unique enough to be fun. You could set it up to roll some coal.
I'd like to get one and slap a duramax/6L80E in it and make it a total sleeper....
Pahdz
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hey guys, I'm local if anyone is interested i can be your runner
BenTheGoodAg
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Dang, here's a special project for anyone who wants it:

"Extended" Cab C10



Centerpole90
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I just threw up in my mouth a little
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