1. You could give your spouse the cush commute and do Lake Highlands or Lakewood
2. If suburban is attractive, might consider Sunnyvale, you'd both be able to avoid going through downtown and I dont think 635/20 is bad that direction (towards Duncanville) during rush hours, but havent looked that closely. I think the biggest part is not going thru DT.
3. There are some decent elementary schools in Kessler area, Winnetka and Rosemont IIRC, probably a magnet as well, but middle and up is very questionable.