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I divorced last year, but it was mutual and we just did the forms online. We were married for 24 years and had 23 yr old son and 21 yr old daughter. No custody issues cause they are adults so they live where they want and expenses are covered by the parent they live with.

One thing I will tell you is at this point in the year make sure it goes final AFTER midnight on December 31st. There is no pro-rating for taxes. so if you go from married filing jointly to head of household you are looking at a serious tax hit. Ours went final November 15th 2017 and despite the fact that my ex was still living with me when I filed taxes head of household was all I could claim. Cost me a few thousand on my tax refund. Also interesting to note under current tax law you can't ever claim a former spouse as a dependent; so if she gets cancer in 3 years and you are the only one left to turn to for support, you can never claim her on your returns. Does not matter if she moves back in and does not work and you pay for EVERYTHING you can't claim her. Just sayin.

So one question I have for is if you are meeting with a lawyer, or meeting with a mediator. A mediator can be a lawyer, but not your lawyer. If you haven't met with someone with regards to your interests, you should do so before you agree to anything with a mediator. The mediator has one job - try to settle the case. They aren't looking out for your interests, or your wife's interests. They may give you some general information if neither of you are represented, but they shouldn't give you any advice outside of how to settle the case.

The age of your kids may still matter. I'm licensed in Oregon, so I'm not sure what the rules are here, but most states have an age at which parents aren't required to support their children, whether they are in school or not. If support is required for them, that's usually handled through child support - sometimes paid to the spouse that is mostly in charge of them and sometimes paid directly to the child. If it's paid directly to the child, that means that both of you would likely have an obligation.

I'm a family law attorney. My first question is are you talking to an actual mediator? Or a lawyer that's representing your wife? Careful if its the latter.

The two of you can make any deal you want on the expenses for the adult children, but there really is no "typical" way that they're handled. The judge will never order either of you to be responsible for any of their expenses, since they're adults. Expenses for adult kids are usually not addressed in a divorce decree at all, in my experience.

Your wife might be eligible to ask for spousal maintenance, but there's no way to say for sure without more detail. In any event, any maintenance payments would be based on her financial needs (not the adult children's).