TL;DNR? Just give…

**Edited to add**
Someone created a go fund me for us. Here is the link to share:

**page to follow story: A healing journey - DeCuir family**

Original post:

I feel like I'm reliving a nightmare.
And it's because I am.
We are.
This is a nightmare.

So many people prayed and watched as we endured Mercy's traumatic first year of life. Battling her feeeing tube and developmental delays. While that unfolded we were handed the devastating news of Haddon's brain injury. We are still hardly handling that grief. On top of that we realized we had to resign from the field of Papua New Guinea where we were serving and leave behind an entire life without ever saying goodbye or having closure… in the blink of an eye. ONE of those things would be more than one could bare. It's been too much for too long.

So when we developed significant PTSD symptoms, it made sense. Horrible, but understandable.
But then…
they worsened and became bizarre.
They turned neurological and scary.
Add on non stop fungal rashes, untreatable ear/eye/sinus/respiratory infections, and other troubling symptoms-our doctor looked at me and said "I've actually seen this before. you may be experiencing mold toxicity. You need to test your home."

Sure enough. The ever growing water rings on the ceiling and the prior flood damage in the master bathroom turned what was supposed to be a safe haven into toxic nightmare

"You essentially need to pretend like your house burned down and start over. Only insurance won't cover it. It would have been better had it just burnt down honestly." I stared at the mold specialist as he casually said that. "But you don't understand what we've just been through!" I wanted to scream at him. But it wasn't his fault. He was just telling us what was reality

And so we got rid of almost all our belongings.
Books, toys,games, decorations, furniture, mattresses, Christmas decorations, shoes etc.
All of it.
What had been kindly and generously given/lent to us, what few things we'd bought to start our life over with.. all of it. Gone.

And so we started over.
With crippling health.

We searched for weeks and finally found a place to move. We paid uncomfortably to rent what was supposed to be a new safe place for our family to finally heal.

Slowly the debilitating symptoms started to lift. Not all the way, but enough. Enough to feel like maybe now we finally had our feet under us.

But 7 months later…we started having symptoms again. "Im just being paranoid.
There is NO WAY.
There is just no way.
This house is newer and we have looked and looked, there is no mold here!!"

I would tell myself that for several more months.

"It's just ptsd. It's just something else." More counseling and therapy and medication but the symptoms persisted. Family wide.

After hearing sizzling one day I looked under our sink to see water seeping out of a burning outlet (that was supposed to gfc but was not)
A sink that had not been properly installed and was soaking water into the wall and cabinet behind it for years would prove what I desperately feared…

4 weeks ago I stood and watched them start ripping out boards under our sink covered in "But surely it's not toxic. It could just be lots of mildew or harmless mold. There is just NO WAY"

But as we stood there watching (which was stupid!) in shock and disbelief… we all became sick. Almost at the same exact time. I grabbed mercy and all went outside. We taped trash bags over the opening and called a mold remediation specialist.

We are currently staying at a friends house. Pathology came back today confirming. Go ahead and google stachybotcharus and chatoneum. It's bad.

Again our landlord will not remediate and so we are desperately searching for housing.

We are sick in a way that I don't even want to use the word "sick." It's terrifying. It's debilitating. I'm literally hardly able to function. I'll post more details on how it's affected up later. But for now-
please, please pray for our family. I feel like I don't know how to survive this blow. It's been to much for too long…

I can't stay quiet about this anymore. If you're tired of hearing about our family suffering or struggling, please unfollow me. Because I can't post pretend happy pictures anymore. We need people to know because we need help. Our family is really not ok. Lord Jesus… come back soon