To parents of ADHD kids

7,502 Views | 39 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by Builder93
Krunkteach
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I have a friend who for years would decide to take her child off the ADHD medication the first few weeks of school to see if he could do without it. Each year he would have a rough 2-3 weeks and she would see the need to put him back on the medication.

PLEASE do not do this to your child. The first few weeks of school is critical to get procedures and good habits in place. The new school year is overload enough on a child's senses without having to do it unmedicated.

My own children have ADHD and if we ever decide to "go without," it will be after the year has begun and once a solid routine has been established. I understand that the decision to medicate is often difficult, but for the sake of your children, their social connections, and yes, even the teacher, do not make the first week or so of school anymore difficult than it needs to be on your child.

I know that some of you think that I'm saying this so that I have less discipline issues to deal with, but the truth is, it is painful to watch a student struggle in this situation.

[/soapbox]
gettingitdone
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I agree with you 100% krunkteach!!! Sometimes I think that parents want to "try" going without for themselves rather that what might be best for the kids. IMO
MrJonMan
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AG
90% of college students have ADHD......85% don't have perscriptions
smilin bob
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There is no secret to managing ADHD without meds you just do it and any diligent parent can do it effectively.

My daughter was on meds for a while and they helped but the side effects were worse than the benefits, so we took her off of them. The best thing you can do for a child with ADHD, in the long run, is teach them coping skills. A good psychologist can help with this. Also, there is a very good book on the subject of dealing with ADHD called "Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell.

ADHD does not go away when the child becomes an adult and he will be dealing with it all of his life.

If you have your child diagnosed with ADHD then you can file under section 504 with your school district and have him declaired learning disabled which will qualify him for things like extra time on tests and assignments.

Managing your child's ADHD without meds is a little more dificult but it can be done if if you are consistant and stay on top of it.

After all do you want your child taking amphetamines or antidepressants all of his life if he can manage without them?



[This message has been edited by smilin bob (edited 8/23/2008 1:22a).]
AgMomOfLots
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I am a teacher and I have a child that is ADD. I chose to medicate him simply because his ability to learn was being affected by his inability to pay attention. I do not feel like I drugged the s#&t out of him... he is the same kids with the same personality and same sense of humor, he simply doesn't bounce 99% of the time he is awake anymore and doesn't get distracted by the air conditioner kicking on and off. I think people that judge parents for making the choice to medicate ADD children need to teach in a classroom with 2-3 unmedicated ADD kids, while also attending to 19 more kids, some of which have other learning issues before getting on a soapbox. Do you also judge me for medicating my son who was Tourette's, or should I just let him blink, scrunch, flap and squeak his way through school? (He'd be GREAT in a class full of unmedicated ADD kids!)

[This message has been edited by AgMomOfLots (edited 8/23/2008 9:24a).]
aggiemom3
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Thanks Smilinbob for all the info.
COnative
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quote:
If you have your child diagnosed with ADHD then you can file under section 504 with your school district and have him declaired learning disabled which will qualify him for things like extra time on tests and assignments.


Not as easy as you make it sound. You can't just walk in and get he/she declared as having a disability. They go through extensive screenings, and the school district will do all they can to NOT declare your child having ADHD. There is a lot that plays into a diagnosis, and the best way to get help through the school district, is to get an outside opinion FIRST, and then have them tested through the district so you have some solid ammo to support you. Bottom line is that we are our childs advocates, and they won't get anything unless you fight for it.



[This message has been edited by COnative (edited 8/23/2008 9:37a).]

[This message has been edited by COnative (edited 8/23/2008 9:43a).]
montegobay
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Seriously people, don't let your kid's grades, etc. suffer for the first few weeks of school while you experiment. We've had students who get off onto to such a bad start that it is nearly impossible for them to recover. Once they restart the medication, their grades improve, they are able to focus, and they actually contribute to and lead class discussions. Studies show that most kids are able to grow out of the need for medication as they get older and are more able to cope with their disability.

As for getting your child listed as 504, that is a label that will follow them throughout their school career. Most of you say you don't want kids medicated so they will learn to cope with the disbility on their own, but I find it curious that you would prefer to have them labeled as needing special accomodations. Most teachers are happy to work with parents and offer certain accomodations without the 504 being necessary.

[This message has been edited by montegobay (edited 8/23/2008 10:07a).]
Summer Breeze
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AG
I shall comment only on my experience and keep my opinion of some of the more ridiculous posts to myself.

My parents are raising my niece and nephew, and my nephew is diagnosed with ADHD. He is the product of a mentally ill father and low IQ mother, and if I just had to guess, there is a strong possibility that recreational drugs were used by the parents throughout the mom's pregnancy and early childhood. That's why he doesn't live with them anymore.

When he came to live with my parents (his grandparents)at 5 years old, his irresponsible parents had medicated him into oblivion. His grandparents, who are of a different generation, took him off all medication and dealt with him the old fashioned way. His behavior improved slowly but drastically.

During the first grade, my parents began speaking to pediatricians and school personnel about how to help with his classroom behavior problems - he often has meltdowns and he cannot interact socially with other kids on an appropriate level. It is at this point that they began to consider the pros and cons of medication to help him be all that he can be in spite of his life circumstances to this point. He is entering the second grade, and his social interaction and behavior continues to improve.

Bottom line: Are there kids medicated by irresponsible parents as a cop out? Absolutely. But there are also kids who need to be given a chance when other circumstances have started them out behind everyone else. These are the kids who 30 years ago would be considered lost causes and who would drop out of school and have a high probability of becoming criminals.

So, a blanket judgment about medicating children one way or the other is ignorant.
TheMathGuy
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I think a lot of the problem is that we like to put people in to categories and treat them all the same >> Everyone is different and learn differently and we as parents need to figure out how our children learn the best... If it means that you teach math to a kid while they are doing jumping jacks or swimming laps in the pool or sitting in a dark corner... so be it! That is how they learn... I found out with one of my girls that the best cure for "ADD" is a Pogo stick... A Bike... A BB gun... Trampoline... Ball... Frisbee... etc...

After seeing kids with this so called disorder sit down for hours in front of a video game and be able to focus... it is clear to me that they are just searching for an outlet for their energy... So we can take a short cut with drugs so that they can "Fit in" in one of those categories like a peg in a hole and hope they are not negatively affected long term >>> Or we can take the harder route and figure out how to help them learn to overcome challenges and show them how this "Disorder" can actually be an advantage for them.

aggiemom3
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I wasn't aware that a pediatrician could diagnose adhd. My son had to meet at length with a psychologist who confirmed my suspicions. I put this off for a very long time but when he started bringing home straight F's, something had to be done. His condition could no longer be controlled by non drug methods. Trust me, no parent wants their kid on medication. And add to that all the judgemental a-holes who try to make you feel like a bad parent, and it really sucks. But you have to do what's best for your own child. My son is doing very well now. He's in advanced classes and making very good grades.
COnative
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I don't think that's true, Trixie. It takes more evaluation from a trained professional.


If a parent goes into the Ped's office and he diagnoses that child with ADHD and provides a prescription without fully evaluating the child (sending them to a psychologist, etc), then they are bringing their child to the wrong doctor. Unfortunatley, it happens all too often.


If a child is not treated when first suspected at a young age, or if the parent does not takes appropriate discipline steps to help that child, then it's the child who ends up suffering in the long term. I'm not pro meds, but I'm not against it either when it can in fact help children that truly have ADHD.
gldfisherman3
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A regular pediatrician can diagnose it. Although my son was diagnosed with ADD not ADHD. 2 totally different things but either way it was through UPA for us.
GoneGirl
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AG
I was diagnosed in my mid-20's with ADHD. It wasn't "invented" 25-30 years ago, it was categorized as a condition then. It existed long before that. Kids that had it were just called "dreamers" or "flighty" or "lazy" or "not meeting their potential." In "Driven to Distraction," and "Answers to Distraction" Doctors Hallowell and Ratey give their theory on the large numbers of Americans with ADHD. Basically they theorize that America was settled by people with ADHD (and it is hereditary). Lets face it, the people who immigrated to America (in most cases) weren't the people who were doing great in their own countries. They were the wanderers, the dreamers, the folks who needed a fresh start. Its an interesting concept.

That being said, I was treated with Wellbutrin instead of ritalin. It didn't "drug the $#!* out of me - it evened out the highs and lows so that I could focus. In the meantime, I learned coping mechanisms that would allow me to stop meds and become a productive member of society. It took a while and I am still not the most "together" and organized person in the world, but I've learned to recognize unproductive behavior and how to avoid it.

montegobay
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AMEN TxElsie.
Aggeepop
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AG
Forty,
Thank you for helping to prove my point, as you so deftly pointed out the function of all of those drugs and yet, you could "manage" the problem without any of them. People lived before high blood pressure meds were around, and yet now we drug ourselves to reduce it. People had earaches before penicillin and lived to tell about it. Yet now we have dosed ourselves into resistant strains of the cause. You could drive your car without power steering but, having it makes you a better driver. The same is true with these meds for ADHD. They are designed to be used as a tool, along with other behavioral coping practices, to help people cope with the problem. I don't deny that there is a problem with overprescribing but, that certainly does not speak to all cases. The point of my post was simple, if you are the pot then don't call the kettle black. I'm not so heartless that I am not going to give my child acetominophen when he has a fever although, I know that he would survive without it. If my knees hurt because I have athritis in them I am certainly going to take something to ease the pain although, I could cope without it. And if my son is struggling with school, behavior and self esteem because he has ADHD, then I am certainly going to give him meds that treat the problem. Your generalization and ignorance in calling the meds "speed" only serves to prove that either you have an agenda or you do not know what the heck you are talking about. You are entitled to your opinion, no matter how poorly thought out it might be or biased it is (admittedly, mine is biased as well). But, please do not discount others choices as "wrong" because you do not agree with them. I certainly do not think that your sister made the wrong decision by not putting your nephew on meds although, I can't help but wonder if he wouldn't be making $30mill/year because he OWNS the pipeline that's being welded on had he had the opportunity to take the meds and reach his full potential. I guess we will never know.
mickeyt
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I don't believe in drugging kids either, but believe me...when one child in a classroom is literally bouncing off the wall, hurdling over desks, making spontaneous sounds in the middle of lessons, refusing to do any work, arguing with other children in the class, rolls around on the floor during a lesson, causing education to stop for 21 other children...well..do I need to say more?

I agree with the original poster. Parents, don't play with your child's medication. Make a decision to use it or not! If you choose not do...then deal with the consequences in a matter that helps ALL students succeed in the classroom. I don't think teachers should be having to teach the amount of social skills that they have to today. That's why education is lacking in this country.
mickeyt
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ADHD has hyperactivity added. Very different from ADD. I think ADHD affects students other than just the person diagnosed.
Krunkteach
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Even within the ADHD "umbrella", there are different categories. My son - who had extensive testing by a specialist in Austin - was labeled severe.
Pam, I'm guessing you were lucky enough to be in the mild category - although that is just a guess on my part.
I once talked to an adult who had just been diagnosed with ADHD and he said that he regrets not being diagnosed earlier. He felt like he had gone through life with his hands tied behind his back. His words - not mine.

Everyone is different and parents should make the choice they are comfortable with. My original request was specific and I stand by it.
For those of you who think this is all about discipline etc, I can tell you the kids in ISS at my school are there for true bad behavior - not ADHD behavior.
FortySomethingAg
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Ageeepop -- You missed the point. High blood pressure medication corrects high blood pressure. Ritalin does not correct ADHD -- assuming that ADHD exists. (Read the book "Talking Back to Prozac." )

ADHD is one of the greatest rackets of all-time. The pharmaceutical companies have done quite well with this invention.

Your ignorance is extreme. My nephew's so-called "ADHD" symptoms *enable* him to be the high-producer that he is. He is absolutely reaching his full potential because he was not drugged into complacency.

Ritalin would not enable him to own the pipeline company. Laughable. Talk about committed to one's ideology.

Perhaps you should discover paragraphs.

[This message has been edited by FortySomethingAg (edited 8/23/2008 11:26p).]
Aggeepop
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AG
Forty,
Sorry for the paragraphs but you were smart enough to work your way through it.

Perhaps you should discover logic while I work on my writing skills. You argue that ADHD doesn't exist in the same breath that you argue ritalin doesn't correct it. That in itself is an oxymoron but, let's examine your premise. If the person on the HB meds quit taking them, would their HB suddenly cease to exist? No, the meds treat the problem as long as you take the meds. If I were to follow your logic then the claim could be made that HB doesn't exist.

For every reference you cite refuting the existence of ADHD, I could find another disputing your claim. I could then couple that with my own observations and common sense and feel very comfortable that I made the right choice for my son.

BTW, the same FDA that approved HB meds also approved ADHD meds. So, you can either believe they are wrong about both or wrong about neither but to say they are only wrong about the ADHD meds is dillusional and sad.

And since my ignorance is so extreme, please enlighten me on how your nephew's symptoms enabled him to be a high producer. I have yet to see any situation where the meds caused a person to be "drugged into complacency". Of course I am sure that you have many examples of this as you certainly portray yourself to be quite the expert on this subject.

As for me, I have heard and been on both sides of the argument and studied the literature and that has led me to the right decision for my son. I'm just glad the you are forty-something and not likely to have your distorted, closed minded views negatively impact your own child in the future.

And referring back to my original post; if your sister ever dosed your nephew with any med for any symptom that wasn't a life or limb situation and you are OK with that, then you are a hypocrite and your opinion on this matter is irrelevant.
mickeyt
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Actually ADD and ADHD did exist 20-30 years ago. My best friend was on medication when she was in school, and she is now in her 40's.
GoneGirl
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AG
quote:
It didn't even exist 20 or 30 years ago


Neither did AIDS - is it a "bunch of crap" too?
FortySomethingAg
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If you are diagnosed with AIDS it is a fact. If you are diagnosed with ADHD it is an opinion. This is why I say that ADHD was invented.



[This message has been edited by FortySomethingAg (edited 8/24/2008 10:25p).]
MrJonMan
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AG
i guess no one caught on to my joke about college kids with ADD/ADHD.
Anonymous Source
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S
Hold on...hold on.
AD...what, now?

Gig 'Em
Zump22
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[When quoting or responding to posts on this thread please pay attention to the date of the post that you are responding to as some of the posters on this thread are not longer active on this website. All posts prior to this post are from 2008. We will leave this thread active as long as the discussion remains on topic and respectful. -Staff]
ElephantRider
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AG
Odd bump.

Jbob04
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ukbb2003
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Hmm, interesting read. We are actually going through this right now with our son. He is incredibly smart and probably somewhere on the spectrum. He has a lot of trouble with anxiety and impulse control. He's also started harming himself when he gets in trouble or mad at himself. We have held off on medication for now and he has been seeing a counselor for the last year. We recently started discussing medication as he seems to be getting worse.

I honestly hate the idea of medication, but we are exhausted from fighting the constant battle.
histag10
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AG
My 7 year old is on adderall. Honestly, it is night and day differences when he is on it v off. I will sometimes give him a break from it on weekends because he needs to eat and gain weight, but he is ALWAYS on it during the school year.

He also has an IEP for dyslexia and adhd. The ELAR help he receives is great, as is having the option for him to go to the ELAR teacher's room to calm down in a darkened room if he gets super overwhelmed/over stimulated.

KidDoc helped us a ton with diagnosis and understanding med options (I also have ADHD, so it narrowed down what was likely to not work for him).
double b
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AG
My wife and I recently took our child off his ADHD meds since the results were not worth the side effects. His grades are equally as good, if not better, than before, although there is still much room for improvement.

He is a bright, capable academic student who struggles with executive function skills. We're now searching for someone to help develop these skills and relate well with young teenagers. Does anyone have success or results to share from a local resource or suggestions?

Builder93
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AG
I was diagnosed with ADD at 49 years old. My ex wife had always said I had it and she finally convinced me to get tested. The local psychologist said I had it and my doctor gave me meds. It helped me focus like crazy but something still didn't seem right to me. I read Dr. Amen's book 'Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program that Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD'.

This book made me question what I had been told about myself so I went to his clinic and got my brain scanned. I had Complex PTSD, not ADD. I now know why I was so anxious when sitting still. The symptoms looks like ADD but it's actually past trauma manifesting in the present (Dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up). Motion keeps me at peace. Stillness allows raised activity in my amygdala.(fight or flight center).

Dr. Amen is a celebrity doc and it can seem that his goal is to make lots of money, and it may partially be (who doesn't want that) but I have met him and a few of his doctors. They are genuinely focused on healing people's brains through more than just medication. I would strongly recommend looking into their services if you have kids on meds. At least read the book. It clarifies the different types of ADHD they see in brain scans and it helps get to the root cause of the symptoms. It changed my life.

Correction: I mistakenly wrote hypothalamus. I should have said amygdala.
BrazosDog02
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AG
Can't speak for any parent but I went all the way up to college before getting a diagnosis and adderall XR for adhd. Midway through college grades when C to A. After college I use it for grad school but once I got into the real world I decided I didn't like the side effects so I stopped taking it. Ended up failing at my job and eventually was let go but I haven't been on meds for over a decade. I simply adjust my life to make it work for me. It's a far better solution but it's a drastic change.
Red Pear Luke (BCS)
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Sponsor
AG
BrazosDog02 said:

Can't speak for any parent but I went all the way up to college before getting a diagnosis and adderall XR for adhd. Midway through college grades when C to A. After college I use it for grad school but once I got into the real world I decided I didn't like the side effects so I stopped taking it. Ended up failing at my job and eventually was let go but I haven't been on meds for over a decade. I simply adjust my life to make it work for me. It's a far better solution but it's a drastic change.


Very similar experience here. Was diagnosed in 5th grade but never medicated. Self learned coping mechanisms but always was a procrastinator and such. Was a solid C+/B- Student in high school. Carried over in college. Was making A's in classes I loved and could hyper focus (history, A&P, science, etc) but sucking wind in the ones I hated.

Wasn't until grad school at the Real Estate Program though I actually got on meds to help me. My grades were awful first semester. I was out of the corps of cadets so the disciplined life style was gone and I really was enjoying the non-reg lifestyle too much. But I needed to learn/prove myself.

I don't really take it much now - only when it's get crap done time and I can't fart around. My wife read an ADHD in Adults book and was surprised to see how much stuff/coping mechanisms I naturally picked up to help manage. Things like keys and phone in the same spot always. Lots of sticky note reminders. But I still always forget to put the trash bag back in the trash can after taking the trash out. Leave the garage door open. Things like that.
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