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Recs for a good pair of shorts to fight swamp a**

10,663 Views | 74 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by Old Sarge
jsc8116
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AG
Live out here in Utah but have a couple trips planned in Sept. for Aggie games (Clemson/Auburn). Already dreading the heat/humidity, any recs for a good brand/material to help with the heat/humid climates?
HSEAG13
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Any pair of golf shorts should do the trick. They are all that dri fit material
Ag_07
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AG
Swamp ass is undefeated
Mas89
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AG
The North Face. Granite Face Shorts. Very light and do not wrinkle. Flash dry material with an inner drawstring if you don't want to wear a belt. Zipper closing thigh pocket is great for securing money/card. I prefer the long 11 inch inseam to the regular 9 inch. After discovering these I replaced all the old heavy weight shorts.
JosephMarcus
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Simms
Billy Foster
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AG
These are my new summer shorts. Also, get some good dry fit underwear.

https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/magellan-outdoors-mens-aransas-pass-hybrid-short#repChildCatid=4154803
C4D
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AG
When did this become the wardrobe recommendation board.

This is getting old!
PFG
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Quote:

When did this become the wardrobe recommendation board.


By wardrobe rec board you mean the:

-Can someone run a plate for me? Board
-Put "Is outdoors" in the title Board
-Auto Board 2.0 for trucks
-Gen Board 2.0 for Nextdoor talk
-Politics Board 2.0 after mass shootings

This is what most of the posters here want, so it's what staff has let it become. There are boards on TA that are run tightly. Only topics related to the board are allowed. The OB use to be that way. No mas. If you don't like it, flag posts for "wrong forum".
Mas89
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DeWrecking Crew
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Fighting swampass is a legitimate outdoor topic
Love Gun
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1. Wipe deeper
2. Wear what you want
3. ????
4. Profit
MouthBQ98
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AG
Always works for me: do your business. Get yourself clean. preventatively Apply a little bit of petroleum jelly using some tp to the areas that chafe if you will be outside in hot weather, hiking, camping on the beach, whatever. Like magic, you never get swampass. Doesn't require much. It just works.
drummer0415
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AG
No joke, I use this stuff all summer long and it has changed my life. I apply liberally in the ass crack, the insides of my legs, and all over my sack before doing outdoor activities where I would normally get swampass. It feels like you're wearing a wet diaper for a couple minutes, but after that it dries up and keeps you from getting swampass. It works well and has made summers in Houston much more bearable.


Fresh So Dry Fresh Balls, 3.4 fl oz 2 Pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00973H5J0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_P2LbDb1KDCYXN
ironmanag
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AG
I guess the complainers don't understand that heat and humidity and the clothes you choose to wear to combat that is all outdoors.

Or they just run around naked.

One thing though do the words Utah and humidity really belong together?
According to the Biden White House, what Joe Biden says does not represent the official position of the Biden administration.
dmart90
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REI dry fit underware literally saved my ass at Philmont.
“Ambition is when you expect yourself to close the gap between what you have and what you want.

Entitlement is when you expect others to close the gap between what you have and what you want.”— James Clear
malenurse
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AG
Any nice pair of cargo shorts should do the trick. Add crocs and a Maroon Out t-shirt and you're good to go.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But, it's still on the list.
Maroonedinaustin
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AG
Gold Bond. PSA- Don't be surprised when the cooling kicks in and your azzhole feels like there are 10,000 angels blowing on it.
SoulSlaveAG2005
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AG
Maroonedinaustin said:

Gold Bond. PSA- Don't be surprised when the cooling kicks in and your azzhole feels like there are 10,000 angels blowing on it.


Amen. It's like a cool river running through your crotch, or a million fairies fluttering their wings against your inner thigh.

Don't use extra strength immediately following a shower or while overly moist... then it's more like someone is holding a blow torch to the berry sack.
Jason Ag
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Maroonedinaustin said:

Gold Bond. PSA- Don't be surprised when the cooling kicks in and your azzhole feels like there are 10,000 angels blowing on it.


https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/anti-monkey-butt-powder
clem93
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AG
Anti-Monkey Butt for the win!

Stuff is awesome.
Buck Compton
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AG
Lots of good suggestions here. One more:

In the end, if you do get it.... Purell on any painful areas and they're cleared up in 10 minutes. Warning though, it's some pretty intense pain for about 30 seconds when you put the purell on. Then it clears up and is all good and you get to go about your day.
C@LAg
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Sine poena nulla lex.
Ag 11
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AG
Duck butter
greenman99
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AG
Deodorant. Just make sure you use a different brand than you use normally one for upstairs one for down.
Oso96
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AG
Boudreaux's butt paste
Duluth trading bullpen underwear
Adidas golf shorts

Never have to worry about monkey butt or waiter a$$.
Milwaukees Best Light
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AG
Drifit underpants is the right answer. I am sincerely puzzled that the majority of replies on this thread say other things. You can get Hanes X Temp at Walmart. They are not bad. Check the label. Cotton is your enemy. Gold Bond is fine and fun, but the only thing that truly works is dry fit underpants. For long days in the hot, get the longer legged ones. Make sure they are not loose. They need to be almost compression shorts snug, but not that bad on your nuggets.
UTExan
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Gerry stretch poly shorts. Very light weight, cool and inexpensive. The Costco in Salt Lake on 300 West 1800 South had them or you may be able order off the Costco website. I wore them in west Africa last summer with loose cotton boxers and stayed comfy. Alternatively if you want long pants, Columbia makes light stretch pants that I wore every day into the rain forest and rural areas in comfort.
C@LAg
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Sine poena nulla lex.
La Fours
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AG
Swamp ass or sometimes called swass, is when excess sweating in your ass/crotchal region causes chaffing.

Gold bond is good. Runners and triathletes use a product called Body Glide. It is like a deodorant stick. It works great.

Body Glide Original Anti-Chafe Balm, 1.5oz https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00288L2N6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_AQPbDbCQNY16R
Lateralus Ag
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AG
I got a pair of Columbia shorts for a cruise a few weeks ago. Best shorts I ever owned.
SoulSlaveAG2005
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AG
C@LAg said:

Ag 11 said:

Duck butter
which is?


Similar to duck sausage
Waltonloads08
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AG
C@LAg said:

what is swamp ass?


It's a problem fat people have I guess?

I've lived in Houston summers all my life and never had this problem.
cbr
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C@LAg said:

what is swamp ass?
I was beginning to wonder but was afraid to ask.

Sort of like hemroids commercials. ******* that **** must be bad but i dont want to know and sure dont want to jinx it.
cbr
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AG
Buck Compton said:

Lots of good suggestions here. One more:

In the end, if you do get it.... Purell on any painful areas and they're cleared up in 10 minutes. Warning though, it's some pretty intense pain for about 30 seconds when you put the purell on. Then it clears up and is all good and you get to go about your day.
Jesus christ why did i come to this thread!?
La Fours
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Not exclusive to just fat people. I'm overweight now, but even when I was a skinny lad, I would chafe. Probably more to do with me being a sweaty SOB.
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