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Confessions or stupid stuff on the outdoors board

13,717 Views | 93 Replies | Last: 5 yr ago by Alte Schule
agsalaska
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We clearly need to lighten up this board today. And my Catholic roots often bring me to confession.

The last time I rented was in 2006. I had been in this ghetto house in the Houston Heights for 3 years and had a new landlord. I knew he wanted us out so he could tear it down and build his own, and we were building a house outside of the Beltway.

So he comes in to look at the house and the first thing he wanted to talk about was the $1k deposit and how I probably wasnt getting it back because of the damage my dog had done to the yard and the fence. Fair enough I said.

He then saw the carpet and wasnt impressed. But it was the freezer that got the most attention.

Landlord 'Agsalaska, whats wrong with the freezer?'

Agsalaska 'what are you talking about. Freezer works good'

Landlord 'It looks like someone may have shot it with a shotgun'

Agsalaska, 'Does it?'

Landlord 'What are all of those little holes in it'

Agsalaska 'Not sure' I then proceeded to open the freezer and put ice in a glass. 'See, works just fine'


He was not impressed. He tried to get more money out of me but I told him to sue me. It was a short conversation. I moved a month later and never heard from him. I am guessing he figured someone who would shoot his freezer, with a Mossberg 18 inch 20 gauge,' wasn't worth chasing down.






The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine. -- Abraham Lincoln.
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Eliminatus
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I've never been hunting (varminting don't count in my mind) nor fishing.

One day...
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ttha_aggie_09
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Decided to get into duck hunting right after the birth of my first... I already deer hunted too much. My wife gets really good Christmas presents now.
TxSquarebody
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I've done so many stupid things outdoors it's a wonder I survived. Probably the dumbest thing I ever did was discover that a .22 case will fit firmly inside a straw. Probably fired off 20 rounds by throwing it up in the air and letting it hit the ground before catching brass shrapnel in my leg.

EDIT: I was about 10 or 11 then. Much wiser now, but still prone to do stupid stuff.
Floor it until you see God
jabberwalkie09
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third coast.. said:

i was stupid AF and picked up a juvenile diamondback rattlesnake with a stick and took a pic with it something like 15 years ago while out in west texas. probably shouldnt have done that.


IDAGG
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when I lived in the southeast US, a friend I worked with invited me to go hunting on some of his family's land. We arrived at the land, split up and agreed to meet back up at his truck in a couple of hours. The woods were dense AF. After about an hour or so I walk into a small clearing and get a weird sense of familiarity.

I had legitimately walked in a freakin circle. Yes, it really can happen.
Bregxit
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IDAGG said:

when I lived in the southeast US, a friend I worked with invited me to go hunting on some of his family's land. We arrived at the land, split up and agreed to meet back up at his truck in a couple of hours. The woods were dense AF. After about an hour or so I walk into a small clearing and get a weird sense of familiarity.

I had legitimately walked in a freakin circle. Yes, it really can happen.


It's 100% guaranteed to happen without a reference point.
Ornlu
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I got a $700 ticket when i was 16 for pulling 2x 2lb blue cats out of Miller's Reservior without a license.

There were a couple of water snakes buzzing around my stringer, so I went up to the truck and got my Ruger 10/22 and popped em. Tucked it away in the bushes and went back to fishing. About half an hour later, game warden walks up. Asks to see our licenses, and i tell him it's up in the truck.

When we get to the truck, I admit that I don't have one. He tells me that he was going to give me a warning but since I lied Im getting a ticket.

I still don't know if shooting a snake with a 22 was legal or illegal.
Bregxit
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Ornlu said:

I got a $700 ticket when i was 16 for pulling 2x 2lb blue cats out of Miller's Reservior without a license.

There were a couple of water snakes buzzing around my stringer, so I went up to the truck and got my Ruger 10/22 and popped em. Tucked it away in the bushes and went back to fishing. About half an hour later, game warden walks up. Asks to see our licenses, and i tell him it's up in the truck.

When we get to the truck, I admit that I don't have one. He tells me that he was going to give me a warning but since I lied Im getting a ticket.

I still don't know if shooting a snake with a 22 was legal or illegal.


But, you don't need a fishing license if you are under 17. Did you fight the ticket?
Ornlu
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Maybe I was 17. It was definitely high school but that was 15+ years ago so I don't remember which semester.
SunrayAg
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When I was a kid I was trot lining with my brothers one day in an old john boat with one paddle.

We got to the middle of the trot line and found a drop with something very large on it, which was pulling very hard.

My older brother grabbed the line on one side, and I grabbed the other. We both pulled up at the same time to yank this giant catfish into the boat.

Except it was a giant alligator snapping turtle, and he came off the line as we were pulling him in. And he was pissed!

And he was in the middle section of our john boat. We tried whacking him with the paddle, but that just pissed him off worse.

My older brother was in the back section of the boat with the paddle, and my younger brother was in the front section with me. I had been in the middle, but jumped clear when I saw that sci-fi alien looking beast hissing at me.

Well, my older brother managed to row us close enough to shore to bail out, which my younger brother and I both did, simultaneously. Of course, with all the weight coming off the front of the boat so rapidly, the front of the boat went straight up in the air... Causing my older brother to fall bass ackwards off the back of the boat. (But not the turtle.)

While our older brother was busy cussing us, my younger brother and I grabbed the rope attached to the front of the boat and pulled the front up on dry land. Then we pushed it over sideways so the turtle could get out, and ran like hell.

From the turtle and our brother.
Cancelled
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Shot 7mm weatherby mag out of 7 mm Remington mag.
toolshed
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dlance said:

IDAGG said:

when I lived in the southeast US, a friend I worked with invited me to go hunting on some of his family's land. We arrived at the land, split up and agreed to meet back up at his truck in a couple of hours. The woods were dense AF. After about an hour or so I walk into a small clearing and get a weird sense of familiarity.

I had legitimately walked in a freakin circle. Yes, it really can happen.


It's 100% guaranteed to happen without a reference point.


Four of us followed a doe in the woods one night at dusk that one had shot. Two went in first, me and another guy arrived to help. We found the doe and decided it would be shorter to walk out another way.

About 3-4 hours later we walked out of the woods about 20 yards from where we walked in. It was a cloudy night, no moon for reference. We thought we were coming out about two miles down the road. We were shocked! This was before phones/ gps was prevalent.
BenderRodriguez
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Or if you walk and sail far enough in a straight line....
Bregxit
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BenderRodriguez said:

Or if you walk and sail far enough in a straight line....


True enough!

Damn wrong emoji!
Oogway
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Okay, that made me laugh, well told story!
PharmD4
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Used to fish the surf with cut bait in my shirt pocket. Of course the waves would wash up to my chest and essentially chum the water. A few times, this attracted a frenzy of spinner sharks which we thought was funny. They would swim all around us, between our legs, etc.

Then one morning a 5ish foot black tip made a pass and we promptly decided it was time for a different approach.
Tx95Ag
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Back in high school we tied a rope to a sheet of plywood to pull around a pasture behind a truck. It was lots of fun until we hit a fire ant mound.
TxSquarebody
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We did that with a corn scoop! Fun times!
Floor it until you see God
agsalaska
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Tx95Ag said:

Back in high school we tied a rope to a sheet of plywood to pull around a pasture behind a truck. It was lots of fun until we hit a fire ant mound.


Man we had an aluminum disc. It was straight out of the Griswald Christmas movie. We put a chain on it and attached it to the back of an old Scout. Oh my gosh that was fun. As long as you had gardening gloves you were good to go. Without gloves though you were in trouble.

We tore up pastures in that Scout.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine. -- Abraham Lincoln.
Tx95Ag
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I almost drowned once when we went down to the creek to jump off the rope while it was swollen out of its banks. I've never been a good swimmer.
flashplayer
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Tx95Ag said:

I almost drowned once when we went down to the creek to jump off the rope while it was swollen out of its banks. I've never been a good swimmer.


I jumped off a high boat dock at Lake McQueeny and nearly got knocked out from the impact with the water. The water was deep enough that I'd have never come back up if I lost consciousness. Scared the hell outta me and needless to say my last jump into deep water. My skin crawls just thinking about it.
Eso si, Que es
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Fish year, Ft worth corps trip. We rented 2 rooms for all 24 of us at a downtown hotel. A few of us figured out the 8th floor was being renovated so after working hard at midnight yell we drug mattresses into an empty room for a week deserved good nights rest away from the dorms.

In the middle of the night security tried to enter the room but the chain stopped them, I guess they figured we were trapped so they waited us out. I always wondered how long they waited to break open the door to find an empty room, because we climbed balcony to balcony down to the lobby roof.

Not my finest moment and our room got charged for pay per view, I always thought that was a nod and wink to let us know they knew
BenderRodriguez
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Eso si, Que es said:

Not my finest moment and our room got charged for pay per view, I always thought that was a nod and wink to let us know they knew

That or your fish buddies that stayed in that room had a movie night.
drummer0415
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In college I hooked up with a girl at my place one night. It was middle of winter and an ice storm hit over night. The next morning she left and walked out to a completely iced over windshield. I looked out the window and saw her scraping the ice off the windshield but it was cold and I don't want to go out and help her so I just went back to bed. She was out there for a good 10 minutes or so until I heard her car finally drive away. I was raised to be a gentleman and always help ladies out, but it was a one night thing and I didn't want to give the impression of being too nice/into her. I still feel like a huge ahole for that.
agsalaska
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Haha. She remembers you too.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine. -- Abraham Lincoln.
Ol_Ag_02
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Went hiking out in the west Texas desert with some friends. Left the camp with a few guys to go sit out out on the edge of a canyon and watch the sunset. They left for camp, I decided I would hang back for a few more minutes. Got lost on the way back to camp in the dark. Couldn't have been more than 200 yards. After wandering for a couple of hours realized it would be better to sit it out until sunrise. Found a nice flat rock and got ready for the suck. They found me shortly after.
magnumtmp
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It wasn't my stupid, but crazy story anyway.

Years ago, I think around 2001, my roommate and I had access to a 1,000 acre Sabine River bottom propert near Kilgore TX. We didn't have a lease, just shared 1/2 the meat and fish we caught, and always brought beer for the owner, who lived on the property in a trailer house. We also would take his trash back to our apartment to toss in the dumpster. The property had a ~40 acre oxbow lake filled with crappie and bass that RARELY ever got fished. Pretty damn sweet deal. Good duck hunting on the lake, too.

The owner was a 'bit' anti-social and had a minor cannabis and pill problem. We didn't care, we had 365 access to the property. His wife treated us like family and called us her boys.

We always had at least one weekend a spring we would camp at the lake and invite friends out to fish. The owner would come hang out and drink beer and do his thing. It was always a blast drinking beer and fishing all weekend.

One detail was that we would park at a creek crossing and hike in 1/2 mile or so because you couldn't get across with a vehicle. Unless you had a 4 wheeler, you packed in. Well, this one particular weekend in 2001ish, I had just drove up at the creek and parked. I dropped the tailgate on my truck with a bang, and heard some scurrying behind and to my right, just in the trees. I turned around and saw a 12 gauge leveled directly at me with someone behind a tree.....

That someone hollered out, asking who I was. It was right at dusk and getting hard to see, so I had no idea who it was. As I ducked behind my truck, I said my first name only and worked my way up to the cab to grab my deer rifle. He came out from behind the tree once he knew who I was, it was one of the guys my roommate invited, who I knew decently well. I started to flip out on him.....then he started telling me about their afternoon. He finished the few details he had about as fast as he could spit the words out, then jumped in his truck and HAULED ASS.

Turns out, the owner, his wife, my roommate, and his GF had gone on a 4 wheeler ride a few hours before I got there. Owner was stoned and leading the way. This property at one time had fences, but they had long since been eaten by the east Texas trees and brush...was legitimately difficult to know where the property lines were. To top it off, the owners neighbor to the east was equally or even more anti-social than he was/is. You can see where this is headed.....

The owner ended up leading the group onto his neighbors property. They didn't know it at the time. The come up on an old man on a tractor plowing up food plots (presumably). Owner gets off the 4 wheeler and approaches the neighbor while still on his tractor, initially accusing him of plowing up his property. Owner and neighbor argue about who is on who's property for a very short time, but owner sees through the fog of pills he had taken and realized he had screwed up. He turns to walk back to his 4 wheeler saying he will leave, but the BCS neighbor is way passed pissed at this point. Neighbor simultaneously throws his phone and jumps off of the tractor. Phone hits owner square in the back of the head, and neighbor jumps on owner right when he's getting on the 4 wheeler, supposedly knocking the wife an owner off the other side. Neighbor comes at owner immediately again, jumps on his back and gets him in a headlock.

The next logical thing to do for the owner? Pull out his 9mm and put 3 in the chest of the neighbor, while still in the headlock.

Owner gets on his 4 wheeler and hauls ass, dropping the wife off at camp and fleeing on his motorcycle. My roommate takes the neighbor up to his own house and helps the family call an ambulance. It's easy to write about it years later, but you can imagine how freaked out everyone was at that point.

I got all the details about the time I got to camp, so I was stuck in the middle of this damn situation. I just wanted to catch some fish. The owner must have fled just before I got there, I didn't see him at all, just one of my buddies and his 12 gauge, also on his flight out.

We all load up and head back toward the front of the property. I never even got unloaded, went straight to the camp to figure out what all was going on. There were about 8 trooper and sheriff cars there at the front gate, officers were behind their driver doors with AR-15s, shotguns, handguns ready. We, of course, cooperated 100% and spent the rest of the night at county giving statements.

So much for fishing.

The neighbor survived, sued the piss out of the owner, and got about 1/2 the property from the suit. Owner had to sell the rest of it to pay for lawyers to keep his ass out of jail....you can guess who bought it. Owner never did time, it was the civil suit that got him.

I haven't been back since that night. I miss that place, but not all the BSC that went with it.
gwellis
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agsalaska said:

Tx95Ag said:

Back in high school we tied a rope to a sheet of plywood to pull around a pasture behind a truck. It was lots of fun until we hit a fire ant mound.


Man we had an aluminum disc. It was straight out of the Griswald Christmas movie. We put a chain on it and attached it to the back of an old Scout. Oh my gosh that was fun. As long as you had gardening gloves you were good to go. Without gloves though you were in trouble.

We tore up pastures in that Scout.
We used old wooden water skis behind my truck in the parking lot in SA. Fun times till ATF stopped is and searched the truck thinking we were drinking.
Gil '91
BrazosDog02
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This thread feels like the kind of thing that's going to come back ten years from now. I'm going to hang out a sec....
jgh85Ag
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I dont remember. That's my story.
agsalaska
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That is awesome.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine. -- Abraham Lincoln.
agsalaska
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We were definitely drinking in the later times. When we started we were just kids. If we tried to drive past the dirt roads we would have gotten skinned. Even if we were doing it after dark.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine. -- Abraham Lincoln.
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