I want to fall in love with a girl at 38

3,304 Views | 25 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by Green2Maroon
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Okay, so after 20 mostly lackluster years of dating and recently getting out of bad relationship that dragged on nearly ten years, I have a lot more maturity and understanding than I did at 28.

It is very possible that I missed a lifetime opportunity with someone else before I got involved with the wrong person for almost ten years. I can't go back and change that. I've never been in love or in a relationship with anyone I really liked or wanted to be with. So what does it take to finally do that at 38 years old?

I live in Denver now. Army veteran who went to war at eighteen and went on to get a degree at A&M at 26. Been through a lot with my career from 2013-18 in particular.
Dilettante
How long do you want to ignore this user?
It seems like it's going to take a girl, at a minimum. Any idea about how to source one of those? It seems like there are a lot of people on Tinder these days.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I know it will take that.
Duncan Idaho
How long do you want to ignore this user?
My only advice is if you just got out of a 10 year relationship, take your time to get into a new one. There is a middle ground between banging everything you can and falling into a relationship with the next chick you date. Especially at 38...because if you are reasonably healthy, have a job and a clean bathroom, dating will be easier than any point in your life (at least from a quantity perspective)
ABATTBQ87
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/what-cherishing-your-spouse-really-means/
Duncan Idaho
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Oh....and when it comes to dating chicks with kids. Remember you are dating the mother not the kids. So don't accelerate, stay in, or make permanent the relationship because of the kids. Be kind to them, be respectful to them but you are not there to save them.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Duncan Idaho said:

Oh....and when it comes to dating chicks with kids. Remember you are dating the mother not the kids. So don't accelerate, stay in, or make permanent the relationship because of the kids. Be kind to them, be respectful to them but you are not there to save them.
That is a good way to look at it. I'm not seeking to be anyone's dad overnight either, just because I may be dating their mom.

It seems like everyone has been through a lot at 38. Last girl I had a date with last week was 40. She used to work in the coal mining industry like I did, at almost the same time as I did, and in an accounting job like I did. She lost her mining job in 2012 and I lost my position in 2013. We both had houses and all the yuppie stuff people buy at that age. We decided not to go out again but it was a fascinating story.
diehard03
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Didn't you try this on the GB already? What's the R&P angle you're looking for? (Doesn't have to be, but might help direct responses)
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Find a church and attend regularly.
Sit next to the old ladies at Bible class.
Go to their pot lucks. Make them fall in love with you.
Share with them that you are in the market.
They will get busy setting you up with every single girl they know.
PascalsWager
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Religious people seem to marry young. But remember younger marriages seem to end in divorce, generally, at a much higher rate. So its possible your social group is telling you or implying or maybe it even feels like to you that 38 is way behind the curve.

But its NOT! Because most upper middle class white dudes (there's some assumptions here based mostly on Texags demographics) are going to live until at least 88. You have time. You might even date women in their late 20s. But even if you date older you can still have a complete and fulfilling life with kids if you want them. Two of my cousins had their first babies in their early 40s this year! Completely healthy and smoothly.

Denver is a city where men outnumber women so not a great "market". But Boulder will be the opposite of that because of the university; maybe try there.
UTExan
How long do you want to ignore this user?
swimmerbabe11 said:

Find a church and attend regularly.
Sit next to the old ladies at Bible class.
Go to their pot lucks. Make them fall in love with you.
Share with them that you are in the market.
They will get busy setting you up with every single girl they know.


Yes they will. It happened to me.
It is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness- Sir Terence Pratchett
“ III stooges si viveret et nos omnes ad quos etiam probabile est mittent custard pies”
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Thanks for the replies. I have some more food for thought here.
Martin Cash
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
The first step in finding the right woman is having a degree in biology.
The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left. Ecclesiastes 10:2
one MEEN Ag
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Green2Maroon said:

Okay, so after 20 mostly lackluster years of dating and recently getting out of bad relationship that dragged on nearly ten years, I have a lot more maturity and understanding than I did at 28.

It is very possible that I missed a lifetime opportunity with someone else before I got involved with the wrong person for almost ten years. I can't go back and change that. I've never been in love or in a relationship with anyone I really liked or wanted to be with. So what does it take to finally do that at 38 years old?

I live in Denver now. Army veteran who went to war at eighteen and went on to get a degree at A&M at 26. Been through a lot with my career from 2013-18 in particular.
38/2+7=26. Thats your target demographic.

If you don't want to ask their age outright, a great icebreaker question is to ask them what do they remember about 9/11. If they don't remember or weren't alive then, keep moving on. Works great on first dates.

In all seriousness, follow swimmerbabe's advice. Also, take some country western dance lessons.

Congrats on hitting the gym, cleaning up your diet and getting in a couple rounds of golf.
one MEEN Ag
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
PascalsWager said:

Religious people seem to marry young. But remember younger marriages seem to end in divorce, generally, at a much higher rate. So its possible your social group is telling you or implying or maybe it even feels like to you that 38 is way behind the curve.

But its NOT! Because most upper middle class white dudes (there's some assumptions here based mostly on Texags demographics) are going to live until at least 88. You have time. You might even date women in their late 20s. But even if you date older you can still have a complete and fulfilling life with kids if you want them. Two of my cousins had their first babies in their early 40s this year! Completely healthy and smoothly.

Denver is a city where men outnumber women so not a great "market". But Boulder will be the opposite of that because of the university; maybe try there.
Those who marry young tend to end in divorce if its a super young marriage. Like those who marry at 18-20. Also a lot of personality disorders get diagnosed in your early 20s. The numbers stabilize once everyone figures out A) How to live on their own for a bit. B) what they're going to do for money to provide for themselves and a family. C) How far or close they're going to live to family and why. C)How on the road/overtime hours they're going to work. D) How seriously they're going to take religion.

Thats usually your mid 20s in today's society. Was about 16-18 when everyone's grandparents were young and had way harder lives.
Teacher_Ag
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Just out of curiosity....how did you stay with the wrong girl you didn't love for TEN YEARS?
Duncan Idaho
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Inertia
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
She was very manipulative and liked to play the guilt trip card. I also suffered through bad jobs/career difficulties for about 5 years out of the 10. But yes, I take part of the blame for it.
Teacher_Ag
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Sorry to hear that brother. Hoping God sends you the right woman!
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Thanks. I'm pretty sure I missed a far better opportunity maybe 5-6 months before that started.
diehard03
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Quote:

Thanks. I'm pretty sure I missed a far better opportunity maybe 5-6 months before that started.

As mentioned on the other thread, this isn't a thing. The version of this person you have in your mind doesn't exist in real life. Even keeping it in your mind is going to sabotage future relationships...which might actually be better in real life than this person.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
diehard03 said:

Quote:

Thanks. I'm pretty sure I missed a far better opportunity maybe 5-6 months before that started.

As mentioned on the other thread, this isn't a thing. The version of this person you have in your mind doesn't exist in real life. Even keeping it in your mind is going to sabotage future relationships...which might actually be better in real life than this person.

You're right. I've been thinking of this point you make here.
diehard03
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Don't think too much about it - that's the point.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I'm sure I'll be fine now. I don't think I have any more issues today that led to that situation.
Ghost of Bisbee
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I can think of one reason
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
She was pretty lackluster in bed, so not that. I felt like I was the only one doing it.
Refresh
Page 1 of 1
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.