Going to try to spin this in a different direction with some random musings.
Even while I was lapsed from Christianity, there was something that really bothered me about atheism, and that's the entire lack of greater meaning to my life, humanity in general, and the universe at large. With any sort of deity, even a vile and capricious pagan deity, existence still has some purpose and meaning. Good things happen for a reason, suffering exists for a reason, existence exists for a reason. That has been the greatest comfort to me as a believer, and the ultimate comfort is having faith that this deity is Good. This means that all the horrible things that happen that I can't understand are all happening as part of some ultimate greater good.
On a related note, I've also been somewhat put off by the atheistic complete reliance on chance then and even moreso now. Whether it's the chance involved in our universe having parameters to exist, chance molecules forming the first life, or chance driving the evolution of life from that first, the entire worldview seems to hinge on the idea of chance. Chance is referenced as a sort of neutral, undirected mechanism for pretty much everything, but the idea of randomness has a complicated history. After all, the first mentions we have of chance/fortune/randomness/luck are always associated with deities. Makes me wonder if modern atheism hasn't just substituted one ancient divine principle (Chance) for another (Goodness)
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