So, I've held off on posting this for a while now, and based on the reaction, this very well may be my final post on this site. But, I respect many of you so deeply that I feel I owe it to you to be honest. Before I share this, I want to stress just how much deeper my faith in Jesus Christ is today than at any point in my life. I love Him deeply and will continue to serve Him until I meet my Savior face-to-face.

All that said, I think the best way to help digest this will be to simply share my story. I only ask that you read before commenting:

This is my story (pt 1)
This is my story (pt 2)
This is my story (pt 3)
This is my story (pt 4)

I won't respond to hateful comments. I won't respond to insults. Trust me, nobody here has wrestled with this subject a fraction of what I have. As I said, this very well may be my final post here, but this community has been part of my life for over 20 years now so I wanted to be honest finally.

i read it. that sounds incredibly difficult. i can't imagine just how painful that life was.

i'm glad to hear that you're happy, and your wife and kids are happy as well.

i've considered you a good poster for a long time, and that won't change.

you're pretty brave posting this here.

i'm not sure this is the right word, but congrats, Natalie.

You always brought a unique perspective I hope you stick around and I wish you well if you don't.

Thank you to both of you. I really would prefer staying around. It really depends on if this aspect of who I am leads to others making this place toxic for me to be around. I pray it doesn't, because I do thoroughly enjoy this board.

i tried to send you a pm, but it wouldn't go through. not sure why.

I'm currently reading your story, I don't post much, was also born in Tyler but have loved reading your posts over the years. They have helped me as I journey in my faith out of a similar strict fundamentalism to a more peaceful and loving expression/understanding. I have loved knowing that I can 'deconstruct' into a much deeper and closer relationship with Jesus without giving him up. Most people I know who deconstructed gave everything away including Jesus and I can't let go of him (or Him me I suppose).

So, thank you for your honesty and sharing over the years.

Nothing but love from here

schmendeler said:

---

i tried to send you a pm, but it wouldn't go through. not sure why.

---

Same here, so I Facebook stalked you instead!

I hope you stay around. I know your insights have caused me to reevaluate my thoughts and beliefs over the years.

How did your cult parents take this? Or have they left that? I can't say that I'm surprised since you seem very feminine, but I pray God will change your heart. And for your family. Hopefully this won't change this forum and our ability to have open conversations about gender dysphoria and the best approaches for it.

Good to see Staff cleaning up Bustup's post so quickly..

Pacifist,

I will continue to pray for you as a child of the Most High, not because of this, but because I would appreciate your continued prayers as well.

Please let us know if there's a pronoun change or anything we can do. I know you will respond with grace when we slip.

To the rest of us, we can surely have philosophical conversations around this topic and yet still treat someone whos involved with respect. Pacifist seems to be one who can handle this.

edit: I removed the portion in response to a troll post that staff cleaned up. the important part remains.

Quote:

---

since you seem very feminine

---

Well, that's flattering. Thank you. I didn't hear that when I was a combat infantry sergeant, or at any point prior to today on this board. Y'all just know how to flatter a woman.

Indeed. I don't demand a person be affirming. Just treat me with the respect and dignity that anyone who bears the image of God should be treated with. We can disagree without insults.

My faith in my Savior is unchanged. In fact, it's actually deeper since I'm not suicidal and constantly depressed. I know some here will deny my salvation, but at the end of the day, I know my hope rests in His promises, not strangers on social media. And I hope that having a sister-in-Christ who is transgender will help others grow in understanding and grace on this topic. But, don't expect to be flooded with trans-related topics from me. I won't change in what I discuss here.

FalconUnoSeis said:

---

Toward the end of Pt. 4 you list your relational roles as wife, sister, daughter and parent. Just curious if there is a reason you chose "parent" over "mother".

---

Good question. We had a lot of conversations with the kids about what they'll call me. They immediately began using she/her pronouns without any mistake, but they have called me 'dad' for so long that they wanted to keep it as that. So I just went with parent since in our home, my wife is 'mom'. It does make for some interesting experiences in public though lol.

Very powerful personal story. Thanks for sharing.

Obviously the most difficult part for me to deal with was when you admitted to liking being an HR person.

UTExan said:

---

Obviously the most difficult part for me to deal with was when you admitted to liking being an HR person.

---

I wish I had the crying/laughing emoji. This made me laugh. Hahaha

I enjoyed reading your story. In part because I always wonder who the people are being these usernames I've known for so long, but also because its genuinely interesting and it seems like things have changed for the better

Please keep posting here. R&P is a better place with you around.

Thank you for sharing. I think you've been through a lot and I hope you are in a good place now.

Would love for you to keep posting here, you have always been one of my favorite posters.

(also, email sent).

PacifistAg said:

---

Tanya 93 said:

---

So proud of you my love

---

My Tanya!!! Thank you! Missing chatting with you. Hope all is well and my future SiL is kicking ass at everything.

---

Me too

I should go back to twitter more often



The dad of your future grandbabies is currently the pork chop king on his Minecraft server. Apparently he has pig minions that kill pigs and produce 100's of pork chops a day to sell so he can get enchanted armor or potions.

At least he is using business skills so the kids can have their own lego room

Wow, I'm shocked, had no idea.

Not sure what I think, but appreciate you sharing.

I don't really have the words to write. But I appreciate your service to our country. I appreciate your honesty.
I appreciate you for your pursuit of truth.
May you be blessed. I would be your friend, if you were closer. I'm not here to judge you. Scripture judges me, too.

These are some personal issues that must be discussed on the personal level, i feel. If you ever wanted any feedback from me, If you are ever in Rockwall, TX, then pm me and we can grab some coffee at Starbucks or something.

I think here, behind the screen, we should let the validity of our arguments carry the day. Whatever else any of us have going on might be dragged into things for sport or spite or whatever, and I could see that being enough to call it a day eventually. I've left more than one forum for far more banal reasons, so it's your call OP, but it might not come to that.

Your input here is just as good as anyone's, whatever one makes of any of our situations, engaging topics remain engaging with good discussion.

Grace and peace to you, Pacifist.

Thanks for sharing. Wish you luck, and peace.

Ive followed your posts on here for years and it's been clear that you have been struggling with something for a while. I hope this gives you some peace.
my best wishes to you and your family.

I just wanted to thank everyone who responded with kindness, even if one disagrees with my transition. One doesn't need to be affirming to be loving and respectful, especially about something that most don't understand. So, thank you.

God is Love!