Do children deserve financial inheritance?

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1:36a, 11/8/20
diehard03
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11:26a, 11/8/20
I would probably look at it another way - there's a reason why "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" typically rings true. Children will emulate what you teach them and what you demonstrate to them.

Generosity will beget generosity. Hard work will beget hard work, etc. Even if they disagree with your choices. It's the "curse" we inflict on our children, if you will. (now you have to actually demonstrate it to them and there's always exceptions)

What I can definitely tell you is that we shouldn't fear giving our children opportunities that we did not have. While I agree with you the brutality of life can produce the greatest successes, it comes at a high cost of a very low likelihood. Survivorship bias causes us to miss all the failures - even people who made very similar choices you did. Without getting into the religious side since you didn't go there, I think there's a responsibility we have to the next generation to get them setup if we ended up on the positive side of life's ledger of opportunities and execution.

Does this mean they deserve an inheritance? No. I consider my inheritance from my father paid in full already through what' he's already paid for and what he's taught me.
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BurntOrangeIsBeautiful
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1:35p, 11/8/20
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. - Prov 13:22
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UTExan
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1:48p, 11/8/20
If you are worried about their wastrel spending habits, use a family trust and investment instrument that only pays them a certain amount per year (example 12K) and stipulate that only personal and family medical issues can be used to withdraw more money. If you give just enough to survive on, they will be incentivized to work and earn their own way. You also keep them off the public welfare rolls this way.
It is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness- Sir Terence Pratchett
“ III stooges si viveret et nos omnes ad quos etiam probabile est mittent custard pies”
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A New Hope
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3:34p, 11/8/20
I know a fair number of high earners and the majority aren't leaving their kids money. Personally I don't understand it.

For myself, I have one child. I'm leaving her everything, my belief is that I've raised/will raise her with values that won't cause her to go nuts and blow it. But, like I've told her, if that's what she chooses to do, then that's her choice.

Ive worked really hard and don't wish that life for my daughter where you worry about having to make your bills every month. I want her to choose her own path in this world even if it's pursuing a career that doesn't reward you financially.
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ramblin_ag02
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5:09p, 11/8/20
AG
I'll go against the grain here. I won't be accepting anything my parents leave me and I won't be leaving any money to my children. I had a good childhood. Not perfect, but everytime someone died or abandoned their responsibilities toward me someone else stepped up. So I didn't have to worry about food, didn't have to work through high school, was provided by first vehicle, and would have had most of my college covered if I didn't earn my scholarships. After growing up I've spent weeks at a time living with my mother between jobs or schools, and once or twice I've needed a bare minimum of money to help get by.

That's the scenario I'm trying to offer my kids. A childhood free of material hardship, a vehicle, little or no student loan debt, emergency funds, and a place to stay when they need one. If I die young, then I have a life insurance policy that would cover all of these things.

I have a lot of reasons for this. First, I'm not trying to kill myself working so that my children can get a financial boon in their 40,50, or 60s. I don't want them neglecting their own money management and savings planning on my death to bail them out. By that point they should be providing for their children the way my family provided for me and the way I provided for them. If they haven't figured out good money management by the time I die, then even a couple hundred thousand isn't going to do anything to fix that problem. You can't fix financial hardship with windfalls.

Second, in both my personal and professional life I have seen families absolutely destroyed by inheritances. Wills get contested, lawsuits get filed, and fights happen. I can't tell you how many people haven't spoken to their stepparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc because of an inheritance dispute. I'm not about to set up my kids for that.

Last, there are better things to do with any leftover money. They are plenty of amazing charities for people that need that money more than my children. At that point I've done everything I can to give my kids every advantage. If they can't find a decent profession, live within their means, and prepare for emergencies by their 40s or 50s then that's on them.
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Quad Dog
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7:27p, 11/8/20
AG
I don't know if they deserve one, but it is certainly a nice gift you can give them.
Something I hear a lot about now is giving inheritances earlier so you can see them enjoy it. I've heard of it coming in the form of paying for college or contributing to a down payment on their first house. Eliminating their debt or lowering house payments for someone in their 20s is a huge leg up as they age and allows them to start saving on their own earlier.
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UTExan
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In reply to ramblin_ag02 • 7:37p, 11/8/20
ramblin_ag02 said:
I'll go against the grain here. I won't be accepting anything my parents leave me and I won't be leaving any money to my children. I had a good childhood. Not perfect, but everytime someone died or abandoned their responsibilities toward me someone else stepped up. So I didn't have to worry about food, didn't have to work through high school, was provided by first vehicle, and would have had most of my college covered if I didn't earn my scholarships. After growing up I've spent weeks at a time living with my mother between jobs or schools, and once or twice I've needed a bare minimum of money to help get by.

That's the scenario I'm trying to offer my kids. A childhood free of material hardship, a vehicle, little or no student loan debt, emergency funds, and a place to stay when they need one. If I die young, then I have a life insurance policy that would cover all of these things.

I have a lot of reasons for this. First, I'm not trying to kill myself working so that my children can get a financial boon in their 40,50, or 60s. I don't want them neglecting their own money management and savings planning on my death to bail them out. By that point they should be providing for their children the way my family provided for me and the way I provided for them. If they haven't figured out good money management by the time I die, then even a couple hundred thousand isn't going to do anything to fix that problem. You can't fix financial hardship with windfalls.

Second, in both my personal and professional life I have seen families absolutely destroyed by inheritances. Wills get contested, lawsuits get filed, and fights happen. I can't tell you how many people haven't spoken to their stepparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc because of an inheritance dispute. I'm not about to set up my kids for that.

Last, there are better things to do with any leftover money. They are plenty of amazing charities for people that need that money more than my children. At that point I've done everything I can to give my kids every advantage. If they can't find a decent profession, live within their means, and prepare for emergencies by their 40s or 50s then that's on them.
Not to throw shade, but my last semester was one of hardship. I could afford one meal a day and was student teaching. Weekend meals were hamburger and pinto beans. I got a $ 200 bridge loan from a local bank which put me in good stead until I could report to my first Army duty station. Both parents were dead by that year and I had no support network. A small stipend for food would have been a blessing.
It is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness- Sir Terence Pratchett
“ III stooges si viveret et nos omnes ad quos etiam probabile est mittent custard pies”
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ramblin_ag02
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In reply to UTExan • 9:24a, 11/9/20
AG
I plan on helping my children through college and after if necessary. I fully plan to be part of a safety net should they need one. I'm just not going to drop a lump sum windfall on them when I die
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
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In reply to UTExan • 12:02p, 11/9/20
diehard03
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In reply to Quad Dog • 5:41p, 11/9/20
I don't think it's necessarily a "we just want to see you enjoy it" thing...but more pragmatism that sometimes life's needs don't align with one's demise.

I think there's probably some guilt of "well, we told him he could major in Left Handed Moonwalking and he was shocked there were no jobs for him", too.
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DirtDiver
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9:32a, 11/12/20
Few thoughts:
1. About giving kids inheritance early: make sure you have secured your retirement needs first, long term care insurance, etc. You do not want your kids to blow through the money and then have to take care of you out of their resources. (Same goes for college, don't pay for their college at the detriment of not having adequate retirement funds for yourself).
2. Don't give money to kids who are not responsible, would not want to enable them.
3. If they are financial prudent, any windfall will be a blessing.
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10:07a, 11/12/20
Ulrich
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4:10p, 11/13/20
You guys are setting the floor too high. I've been stealing from my kids for years! Daddy's little profit centers.
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Ulrich
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4:29p, 11/13/20
*I don't actually have kids.

I started working (officially) as soon as it was legal, paid my own way through college with the help of some scholarships, bought all my own cars, lived alone starting at the age of 17, and never went back for more than a few days even in the summer. I always knew my parents were there as a backstop, but I took a lot of pride in never asking. Now I have a nice income and I invest most of it. That means two things.

One, even though my parents ended up doing really well for themselves, I don't feel a need to consider an inheritance when it comes to planning my retirement. It would change my life if I got it now, but I plan to get where I want to go long before they pass.

Two, when the time comes I'll have the option of providing more active support to children of my own. But... I don't think I'll offer any more than my parents did. I'll be there if things really go off the rails and they NEED help, but in the long run I don't think it's good for 18-20 year olds to have things they didn't earn.

Some of my classmates were lodged at resort style housing and drove luxury cars because their parents rationalized that the student had earned them by getting good grades... that's BS, that's what you're supposed to do.

I may not have enjoyed the same lifestyle my peers did in college, but I suspect my quality of life has surpassed many of theirs now. I have no debt and NO stress about money, and I credit that to the habits I learned paying my own way.
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10andBOUNCE
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In reply to BurntOrangeIsBeautiful • 9:50a, 11/20/20
AG
TXK said:
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. - Prov 13:22

A couple of years ago my wife and I started a Proverbs 13:22 fund. On a monthly basis we auto draft $13.22 and that is invested in one of our Fidelity accounts. Over 40 years it should turn out to be a decent sized account. The idea would be that this is given to our grandchildren one day. We hope it inspires our son to do the same thing and possibly start a trend within our family tree. That being said, I also think this Proverb is more than just money - very important for grandparents to invest their wisdom with those kiddos. So much life they have lived.
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BusterAg
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10:02a, 12/9/20
AG
My thoughts based on my life experiences:

1) Inheritance should not really be a goal. I made a lot of mistakes early in my life working 80 hours weeks while my kids were young. I wish I had that time back. We live a much simpler life, now. My kids like seeing every weekend more than the trips to Disney World.

2) When I was raised, money was something that we as kids never worried about. I never knew what was going on. We were relatively rich, country club style, and then broke, all at once. Fast forward to my career, and when I left corporate America to start my own thing, I laid everything out to my kids who were in Jr. High at the time. Here is how much money we have saved. here is our budget. Here is where we are going to cut. Here is how long we have before Dad has to go back to corporate America if things don't work out. Here is how much less time we have for that if we waste money on these things.

Teaching opportunity cost at an early age was not something that I had planned, but something that became a great blessing to our family. We (the whole family) review bank accounts, retirement accounts, bills, etc about once a quarter. I talk about it openly with my wife in front of my kids. The kids know where we are financially. It has taught them to be very frugal. We buy very few things that we don't really need or won't really use, pay for things that we enjoy together (camping, netflix), and that leaves room for saving money for college, etc. I have pretty good confidence that my kids will both be good money managers when they graduate. Almost everything I am buying for my kids for Xmas will fit in their stockings, because they haven't asked for much.

3) I have seen my father eat up almost every bit of his retirement in his older age. My mom and dad have traveled all around the US doing things they wish they could have when they were younger. Honestly, it makes me happy. My sister will get the house, but has been reverse mortgaged to about 70% of the equity. My brother will get a bunch of things that have material value, like tools and whatnot. I will get some things of sentimental value related to my dad's career, and I got his prize shotguns, so I am happy. I feel no ill will at all for my dad's decisions to live out golden years well.

4) Life insurance is probably more important than an inheritance. If you die before your kids are in their 30's, it would be nice to leave them something to make up for that blow to their support network.
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swimmerbabe11
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In reply to 10andBOUNCE • 10:48p, 12/10/20
10andBOUNCE said:
TXK said:
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. - Prov 13:22

A couple of years ago my wife and I started a Proverbs 13:22 fund. On a monthly basis we auto draft $13.22 and that is invested in one of our Fidelity accounts. Over 40 years it should turn out to be a decent sized account. The idea would be that this is given to our grandchildren one day. We hope it inspires our son to do the same thing and possibly start a trend within our family tree. That being said, I also think this Proverb is more than just money - very important for grandparents to invest their wisdom with those kiddos. So much life they have lived.

Um I love this
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chimpanzee
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10:45a, 12/11/20
Deserve is another word that I don't much like, closely aligned with "fair".

Seems to me that inheritances are something of a non-event. I've seen people blow through them and come out the worse, and I've seen them leveraged into truly productive things. As mentioned earlier, the outcomes tend to mirror the values (and thus choices) of the recipients. Generous, industrious and prudent people probably won't need an inheritance, but they will probably take one and make the most good out of it. Does that mean they deserve it the most, or the least?

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BurntOrangeIsBeautiful
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In reply to 10andBOUNCE • 6:58p, 12/11/20
10andBOUNCE said:
TXK said:
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. - Prov 13:22

A couple of years ago my wife and I started a Proverbs 13:22 fund. On a monthly basis we auto draft $13.22 and that is invested in one of our Fidelity accounts. Over 40 years it should turn out to be a decent sized account. The idea would be that this is given to our grandchildren one day. We hope it inspires our son to do the same thing and possibly start a trend within our family tree. That being said, I also think this Proverb is more than just money - very important for grandparents to invest their wisdom with those kiddos. So much life they have lived.


That sounds awesome. I think I'll do the same.
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BCOBQ98
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In reply to 10andBOUNCE • 9:10a, 12/14/20
AG
Have you done any calculations on what this would be?

My quick calculations show is less than 75k unless you are counting on a higher rate of return than 10% and 20k at 5%. And that is 40 years from now. That is like giving someone 5-20k or less right now.

Maybe lets them go on a nice vacation, but not what I would call a "decent amount".

10andBOUNCE said:
TXK said:
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. - Prov 13:22

A couple of years ago my wife and I started a Proverbs 13:22 fund. On a monthly basis we auto draft $13.22 and that is invested in one of our Fidelity accounts. Over 40 years it should turn out to be a decent sized account. The idea would be that this is given to our grandchildren one day. We hope it inspires our son to do the same thing and possibly start a trend within our family tree. That being said, I also think this Proverb is more than just money - very important for grandparents to invest their wisdom with those kiddos. So much life they have lived.
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TXAGFAN
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11:45p, 12/14/20
AG
I'm shocked by some of these responses. For example, the ones who don't want to leave money to their kids when they are older. I think it's quite bold to think the average person can afford to for example pay for their children's education today, let alone in 20-30 years. I see zero harm in passing along your wealth to your kids. If you didn't raise them right this money will not be their downfall.

I don't have kids, but if I suffered an untimely death my mother and siblings would receive what I consider life changing money. My mother's estate is straightforward and if she passed I would probably retire even earlier than I plan to, by 50z

I have never given it a second thought knowing that my nephew, only grandkid, will be a primary beneficiary of my estate and my mothers as well. He has a simple trust in the event of her death, but will receive it all at 35.
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Macarthur
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In reply to chimpanzee • 10:37a, 12/15/20
chimpanzee said:
Deserve is another word that I don't much like, closely aligned with "fair".

Seems to me that inheritances are something of a non-event. I've seen people blow through them and come out the worse, and I've seen them leveraged into truly productive things. As mentioned earlier, the outcomes tend to mirror the values (and thus choices) of the recipients. Generous, industrious and prudent people probably won't need an inheritance, but they will probably take one and make the most good out of it. Does that mean they deserve it the most, or the least?


I tend to agree here. Deserve is a very loaded term so I don't like it in this context.

I damn sure would rather give my kids my money than someone else. I could see myself choosing a charity or two that I like, but knowing my family will get more use out of it is much more appealing to me.
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AgLiving06
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In reply to BCOBQ98 • 12:16p, 12/15/20
BCOBQ98 said:
Have you done any calculations on what this would be?

My quick calculations show is less than 75k unless you are counting on a higher rate of return than 10% and 20k at 5%. And that is 40 years from now. That is like giving someone 5-20k or less right now.

Maybe lets them go on a nice vacation, but not what I would call a "decent amount".

10andBOUNCE said:
TXK said:
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. - Prov 13:22

A couple of years ago my wife and I started a Proverbs 13:22 fund. On a monthly basis we auto draft $13.22 and that is invested in one of our Fidelity accounts. Over 40 years it should turn out to be a decent sized account. The idea would be that this is given to our grandchildren one day. We hope it inspires our son to do the same thing and possibly start a trend within our family tree. That being said, I also think this Proverb is more than just money - very important for grandparents to invest their wisdom with those kiddos. So much life they have lived.

So are you saying that Prov 13:22 needs to become Prov 14:22 at some point to keep up with inflation? haha
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ramblin_ag02
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In reply to TXAGFAN • 9:44p, 12/15/20
AG
You must know a better class of people than me. Some of the worst behavior I've witness has been related to inheritances. I've seen people move in with their sick and dying father, cut off all communication with the rest of the family and convince him that no one else cares. They isolate him and make him think they are the only one who wants to help and take care of him. All so he will sign a will giving that person all the inheritance money and cutting out the rest of the family. People literally destroying lifelong family relationships for a windfall.

I've seen people guilt-trip their retired parents and treat them like trash every time those parents buy a car or take a vacation. They expect their parents to get their permission before spending any of it. After all, that money really belongs to the adult children since they are going to inherit it anyway. Why would the parents be so selfish as to spend it all on themselves?

I've seen sibling lawsuits over inheritance that last for a decade. I've seen children turn down expensive treatments for their parent and call hospice so that their inheritance isn't squandered on things like chemotherapy or hip fracture surgery.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. Never understimate the power of a large amount of money to make people behave in a truly evil way. So I refuse to get involved in that drama and I refuse to leave that drama to my kids. I don't need any inheritance and if I've done right by my kids they won't need one either. Even if you think you raised your kids better than that, you never know who they will marry and how that person feels about all this. Better just to avoid it altogether
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
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bmks270
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10:45a, 12/16/20
AG
I talked to a professional chauffeur who was a partner in a black limo chauffeur company in Florida. They pick up billionaires from their private jets right on the airport runway.

He told me most of the self made wealthy were very good people, but then he followed that up by saying their grandchildren are worthless.

There are many examples of people who grow up from childhood with extreme wealth who do not develop much respect for other humans, especially the middle and working class. Often they feel entitled and believe they are superior and don't treat people well. Look at Hunter Biden, a perfect real life example.

However, people should be able to parent how they want and to leave their kids any wealth they want. You can't regulate human nature. Lots of poor people are ****ty people too, they just don't have enough money or power to make it well known.
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Buck Turgidson
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7:54p, 12/22/20
I earned my damn money, and if I want to give it to my kids when I die, NOBODY else should have a say in that. Anybody who tries to take my property away from me or my children is guilty of stealing. People who steal deserve to be shot.
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TexasAggie81
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7:47a, 1/18/21
My kids already know that I'll be leaving them no cash when I die. I'm spending every dime of it. But they'll get plenty of insurance $$$ when I kick off. Anything else they might receive from me is a windfall.
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TexasAggie81
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In reply to TXAGFAN • 7:52a, 1/18/21
TXAGFAN said:
I'm shocked by some of these responses. For example, the ones who don't want to leave money to their kids when they are older. I think it's quite bold to think the average person can afford to for example pay for their children's education today, let alone in 20-30 years. I see zero harm in passing along your wealth to your kids. If you didn't raise them right this money will not be their downfall.

I don't have kids, but if I suffered an untimely death my mother and siblings would receive what I consider life changing money. My mother's estate is straightforward and if she passed I would probably retire even earlier than I plan to, by 50z

I have never given it a second thought knowing that my nephew, only grandkid, will be a primary beneficiary of my estate and my mothers as well. He has a simple trust in the event of her death, but will receive it all at 35.


I paid for my kids' education. Two kids. Two undergrads. One grad school. One law school. THAT was the greatest tangible gift I gave them ... since I was under no moral or other obligation to do so. They were ... and still are ... debt-free. They now realize how fortunate they are to have received that "gift." I don't owe them anything else but my unconditional love, support and occasional wise advise (which is covertly offered even when it is unsolicited).
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TexasAggie81
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In reply to Ulrich • 7:55a, 1/18/21
Ulrich said:
*I don't actually have kids.

I started working (officially) as soon as it was legal, paid my own way through college with the help of some scholarships, bought all my own cars, lived alone starting at the age of 17, and never went back for more than a few days even in the summer. I always knew my parents were there as a backstop, but I took a lot of pride in never asking. Now I have a nice income and I invest most of it. That means two things.

One, even though my parents ended up doing really well for themselves, I don't feel a need to consider an inheritance when it comes to planning my retirement. It would change my life if I got it now, but I plan to get where I want to go long before they pass.

Two, when the time comes I'll have the option of providing more active support to children of my own. But... I don't think I'll offer any more than my parents did. I'll be there if things really go off the rails and they NEED help, but in the long run I don't think it's good for 18-20 year olds to have things they didn't earn.

Some of my classmates were lodged at resort style housing and drove luxury cars because their parents rationalized that the student had earned them by getting good grades... that's BS, that's what you're supposed to do.

I may not have enjoyed the same lifestyle my peers did in college, but I suspect my quality of life has surpassed many of theirs now. I have no debt and NO stress about money, and I credit that to the habits I learned paying my own way.


You are wise beyond your years, sir. I applaud you.
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diehard03
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8:29a, 1/18/21
I'll never understand the flexing on how much you aren't giving your kids because of how awesome your parenting is.
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one MEEN Ag
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10:35a, 1/18/21
AG
There's a reason its the grandchildren of the wealthy who are worthless and not the direct children. I think the most negative consequences arise when the kids are insulated against their own decisions. Because the kid never has to grow up and make hard decisions/risks about careers/investing. The adulting is taken care of already. They are insulated against their own poor decisions in degrees/careers. And they perpetuate that life to their kids. But also, having generational wealth does rob you of some bit of autonomy. Why go to work in the first place? Why take a huge risk?

I've met some friends of friends that are generationally wealthy. Way up their family tree was an original land grant for settling part of Texas. Their family trust was set up back then that the land could never be sold unless all heirs agreed and it could never be subdivided. As intended, noone could ever get 100% agreeance and the family still keeps the land. Its like 7-8 generations along now and still kicking. And guess what, when you've got that many generations of people living off of the resources of the land without having to actually work, you might as well just build a rehab clinic on the property as well. Because all of the kids of the latest generation struggled with drugs and purpose in life.




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In reply to one MEEN Ag • 11:00a, 1/18/21
one MEEN Ag said:
There's a reason its the grandchildren of the wealthy who are worthless and not the direct children. I think the most negative consequences arise when the kids are insulated against their own decisions. Because the kid never has to grow up and make hard decisions/risks about careers/investing. The adulting is taken care of already. They are insulated against their own poor decisions in degrees/careers. And they perpetuate that life to their kids. But also, having generational wealth does rob you of some bit of autonomy. Why go to work in the first place? Why take a huge risk?

I've met some friends of friends that are generationally wealthy. Way up their family tree was an original land grant for settling part of Texas. Their family trust was set up back then that the land could never be sold unless all heirs agreed and it could never be subdivided. As intended, noone could ever get 100% agreeance and the family still keeps the land. Its like 7-8 generations along now and still kicking. And guess what, when you've got that many generations of people living off of the resources of the land without having to actually work, you might as well just build a rehab clinic on the property as well. Because all of the kids of the latest generation struggled with drugs and purpose in life.




One way to guard against that is to write up some good conditions for your family financial trust. Grandkids should be given only basic survival and tuition money until age XXX (you decide), for a down payment on a house, medical emergency or tuition assistance at an accredited school. If they make a decent salary and don't need the money, it stays in the trust. If they want to play, write the trust conditions such that they do it on their own dime. That way you don't shield them from the pain of their choices but they don't end up on the street, either.
It is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness- Sir Terence Pratchett
“ III stooges si viveret et nos omnes ad quos etiam probabile est mittent custard pies”
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one MEEN Ag
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In reply to UTExan • 11:33a, 1/18/21
AG
UTExan said:
one MEEN Ag said:
There's a reason its the grandchildren of the wealthy who are worthless and not the direct children. I think the most negative consequences arise when the kids are insulated against their own decisions. Because the kid never has to grow up and make hard decisions/risks about careers/investing. The adulting is taken care of already. They are insulated against their own poor decisions in degrees/careers. And they perpetuate that life to their kids. But also, having generational wealth does rob you of some bit of autonomy. Why go to work in the first place? Why take a huge risk?

I've met some friends of friends that are generationally wealthy. Way up their family tree was an original land grant for settling part of Texas. Their family trust was set up back then that the land could never be sold unless all heirs agreed and it could never be subdivided. As intended, noone could ever get 100% agreeance and the family still keeps the land. Its like 7-8 generations along now and still kicking. And guess what, when you've got that many generations of people living off of the resources of the land without having to actually work, you might as well just build a rehab clinic on the property as well. Because all of the kids of the latest generation struggled with drugs and purpose in life.




One way to guard against that is to write up some good conditions for your family financial trust. Grandkids should be given only basic survival and tuition money until age XXX (you decide), for a down payment on a house, medical emergency or tuition assistance at an accredited school. If they make a decent salary and don't need the money, it stays in the trust. If they want to play, write the trust conditions such that they do it on their own dime. That way you don't shield them from the pain of their choices but they don't end up on the street, either.
Those are all good points. I think it starts at the top with whomever sets up the family trusts. Also, land is a lot harder on trusts/family than money. Money gets split. Family land gets complicated.

Got some other friends whose family grandparents have some very nice rural land that is appreciating greatly from when they bought it in the 1960s. One telecom tower on the property has turned the grandparents into multi-millionaires. The two sons have basically resigned themselves to an easy life, awaiting the passing of the grandparents to inherit and immediately fully retire. Both of the sons are failure to launch idiots that are now in their late 50s, but one is way bigger of an idiot than the other.

Its causing a lot of problems with aging grandparents as they are frustrated with the life choices of their sons, but they want to keep the land in the family. One son wants to sell immediately, the other knows the telecom annuities are worth more to keep than try to sell the land.



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