I found out yesterday that my friend has been unfaithful to his wife and is planning on leaving her. We were groomsmen in each other's weddings. I'm sitting on his back patio now waiting for him to get home from work, hoping something I say will keep him from leaving her and his months old child. I have no idea what has changed in his life but any prayers you can send to soften his heart and hopefully bless me with some sort of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

I hope you're able to sway your friend.

If you do change his heart I hope he is open and honest with his wife because she deserves a say in this too.

Prayers sent for you both. That illusion that the next relationship will be better is so often a life-destroying illusion.

Prayers. And my advice is just be there and listen.

rilloaggie said:

---

I found out yesterday that my friend has been unfaithful to his wife and is planning on leaving her. We were groomsmen in each other's weddings. I'm sitting on his back patio now waiting for him to get home from work, hoping something I say will keep him from leaving her and his months old child. I have no idea what has changed in his life but any prayers you can send to soften his heart and hopefully bless me with some sort of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

---

Prayers for that.

I had a good friend from church that was headed down this same path. I and a couple of others met w/ him one on one and tried to point him to the scriptures. Then one night a couple of brothers in Christ and myself cornered him in his car and had a knock down drag out (not our intentions, but he avoided us on purpose, so we didn't see any other options) trying to bring 3 or more to compel him to sense as the Bible tells us to.

he didn't listen to us for a few months but after some long talks and months and months of counseling, he repented and returned to his family. still has a lot issues stemming from that and other sin, but he's definitely in a walk again.

just some encouragement that just because you don't convince him today, doesn't mean God isn't going grow that seed. also, this man is not in his right mind. he will say ridiculous things that his mind thinks are true that you and he both know aren't true. not that i'm a counselor, but i'd advise against being that harsh when he's obviously being a moron.

His wife begged someone to talk to him and ask him to start counseling, reconsider, etc.

I spent the better part of 5 hours talking with him Tuesday. I have come to learn that the information provided by his spouse initially may have been incomplete (potentially fabricated in some cases). He and the wife have been on the rocks for years now, haven't lived together for months. He's adamant that he hasn't been unfaithful. I'm not naive and am now taking both of them with a grain of salt.

I experienced my father cheating on my mom while I was away at college and was mentally prepared to come to blows with my friend over this. It appeared was doing the same thing to his wife that my dad did to my mom. I approached what he said very skeptically because of my own experiences with a man in my life being unfaithful. At this point I don't think there is a movie happy ending in store. As with anything like this, I'm sure the truth is somewhere in the middle of his and hers. I'm glad I talked to him and I hope if I am ever in the process of making a poor decision that one of my friends will have the courage to confront me. Please continue to pray for them and that they keep the best interest of their child in the forefront of any decision they make from here.

People need friends like you.

In my 65 years I can think of no cases when a guy left his wife unless he already had someone on the side. And a lot of them deny it.

Will continue to pray.

35 years ago I was your friend. My pastor, a number of good friends, and family members did their best to minister to me. I would have none of it. The lies you tell yourself become your truth.

My marriage did not survive. It did not survive because of me. Sure, we had issues but they were workable had I wanted to be responsible. I chose to be selfish. We had two young children. I still can't understand how I turned a blind eye towards them. It haunts me to this day.

Try and remain a friend even when your friend is a complete and utter jerk. At some point he'll realize he needs you. And, he really will need you and others. He just doesn't know it yet.

He will struggle. You wonder can you ever be forgiven? Are you even worthy of forgiveness? Will you be accepted into a place of worship ever again?

I'm praying for you, your friend and his family. God bless you for taking the time to stand in the gap.