Quote:
Guys I just found out one of the kindest, gentle , genuine just all around great guy committed suicide. I'm lost. He truly was a guy no one could find a reason not to like. He left behind twin 13 yr old girls and a Sr. at Tech. We are all affected by this at some point in our lives. What could I have seen that could have possibly had him alive today? I'm completely heartbroken
First, I'm so sorry for you and his family. I know the grief all too well, as I've lost two very close friends to suicide. In my experience, the answer to your question is "nothing". Often those suffering from depression are able to put on a front that keeps the darkness hidden from others. As someone who has long battled chronic depression and suicidal ideation, I did everything I could to keep others from knowing. Why? Because I felt that by letting them in to that darkness with me, I was only further adding a burden on them and that I was an annoyance to them.
Quote:
And I'm afraid since he took his own life he won't be in heaven. I'm lost, mad, blaming him for his selfishness. I could never leave my kids and wife like that. Ugh
There are a couple things I want to address here. First, suicide does not mean one "won't be in heaven". I believe that's a dangerous teaching that only adds to the immense mental anguish those struggling with depression go through. In fact, I believe the opposite. I believe that the Father was anguished over the fact that His beloved children were in so much pain that they took their life. Imagine the kind of pain that causes one to go that course. It's beyond crushing. I think it pains God for those His Son died to free truly believe they are unloved.
And please don't label this as "selfish". It's anything but. Yes, to those left behind and grasping for answers, it can appear selfish, but to those of us who have stood at that ledge (whether we took the leap over or not), it's the most selfless thing we can do. It is sacrificing ourselves to free your loved ones of the burden of you. That's what was always going through my mind. "This will make everyone better in the long run". "Sometimes the most loving thing is to let them go". To those of us at that ledge, suicide is the most rational and selfless thing we can do. Try to understand it from our perspective. Does it minimize the pain? Of course not. Only time and God will do that. I still cry when I think of my friend Will. I just went up to see his wife and two children on the 2 yr anniversary of him taking his life. The pain doesn't go away, it just becomes less persistent.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a crushing feeling that you are going through right now, and I honestly wish I could just be there, wherever you are, to hug you. I know that I made it through Ricky and Will's deaths by leaving a lot of shoulders soaked with tears. Love you.