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Why don't we equally speak against the divorcees? The ones who have sex outside of marriage? Even the adulterers?
it's a fair criticism in general, but a poor justification for one' stance on homosexuality.
I think you would agree that the Church speaks out on Premartial and extramarital sex pretty clear. However, I do think we give divorcees a pass too much. Personally, I think it's because many find their religious "revivals" during this trial of life and pastors don't want to squelch that. it does do them a disservice, though.
edit: to your first statement, perception is reality and we have to own that, but I don't believe it's as bad as it's made out to be. Churches already know that some % of their congregation is gay and isn't out to demonize them.
I think also some language needs to be agreed on as to what this means. "Gay", as many have noted, means anything from "Im attracted to same sex" to "this is a core trait of my existence". There are different answers to these.