Haven't had the chance to read, but I've had this talk with trans friends of mine. Yes, I do believe one has a moral obligation to disclose anything that of could reasonably anticipate could be a deal-breaker. Now, to add to that, from a practical perspective, if the person has transitioned but not had reassignment surgery, then it's also a matter of safety. But I'll always err on the side of honesty.
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Is There a Moral Duty to Disclose That You’re Transgender to a Potential Partner?
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Last: 6 yr ago by PacifistAg
Thank God I'm married.
That it's even a question tells me our culture has lost its collective mind.
Yes
Seamaster said:
That it's even a question tells me our culture has lost its collective mind.
I think there is a moral duty to abstain from sex until marriage. However, this is not just one lie among others to get into bed. This lie goes against the very nature of sex itself: man and woman coming together as one.AstroAg17 said:
just one type of lie would be hypocritical.
"Therefore, the person who wants to avoid having sex with someone of the same sex or someone of the opposite sex can for purposes of deciding on consenting to intimacy make his or her own judgment about whether the partner "counts" as a woman or as a man, and to do that, he or she would likely want to know what the genitals of the person are at this time and maybe what gender was assigned at birth."
I'm going to file this under the title of "understatement of the decade"
Why do I think the academic lunch group in that article would have a very different response if the question was about a straight man pretending to be a lesbian in order to have sex with a lesbian. I'm pretty sure to a person they would all call that rape....
I'm going to file this under the title of "understatement of the decade"
Why do I think the academic lunch group in that article would have a very different response if the question was about a straight man pretending to be a lesbian in order to have sex with a lesbian. I'm pretty sure to a person they would all call that rape....
amercer said:
Why do I think the academic lunch group in that article would have a very different response if the question was about a straight man pretending to be a lesbian in order to have sex with a lesbian. I'm pretty sure to a person they would all call that rape....
You're forgetting that if it weren't for double standards, they wouldn't have any standards.
Why does it matter how he would do it?
If you know (or ever have reason to believe) that your partner doesn't want to sleep with a man/woman/post op, then not telling them is not gaining consent for sex.
If you know (or ever have reason to believe) that your partner doesn't want to sleep with a man/woman/post op, then not telling them is not gaining consent for sex.
Agreed.AstroAg17 said:
I agree with you. A person should disclose all relevant info to their partner so they can make an informed decision, regardless of whether they think it should matter.
I think they have a moral obligation, but they shouldn't have a legal obligation. So many sexual encounters are predicated on lies, a legal restriction on just one type of lie would be hypocritical.
I think the question assumes a moral standard which begs, what is the standard and who sets it?
uh......uh......something render Caesar and uh.....judge not lest ye be judged.DirtDiver said:
I think the question assumes a moral standard which begs, what is the standard and who sets it?
Colleague 7 nails it IMO.
Pre op transsexuals do a pretty good job of it. Not to turn the thread too graphic, but I think there are ways of pulling it off (pun only partially unintended)
Skin is pretty visible as a means of a white supremacist choosing a mate.
Sex is a physical act. Consent to that act certainly involves knowing about the physical sexuality of your partner.
Skin is pretty visible as a means of a white supremacist choosing a mate.
Sex is a physical act. Consent to that act certainly involves knowing about the physical sexuality of your partner.
I'm of two minds. As far as a romantic relationship, trust and honesty are key. You shouldn't be in a relationship if you can't be honest.
OTOH, if we're talking purely physical encounters without emotional connection, then I find it hard to get upset. People lie to each other constantly in these situations. "What do you mean you're not really a Nobel Peace Prize winning astronaut?!!!". Make-up, Spanx and push up bras earn billions of misrepresenting physical attributes. Bars and clubs are poorly lit for a reason. I find it hard to get upset if someone finds out after the fact they took a transgender person home. As long as you are not actively endangering the other person through illness or similar, then in my mind it's no worse than what happens every day in those situations.
OTOH, if we're talking purely physical encounters without emotional connection, then I find it hard to get upset. People lie to each other constantly in these situations. "What do you mean you're not really a Nobel Peace Prize winning astronaut?!!!". Make-up, Spanx and push up bras earn billions of misrepresenting physical attributes. Bars and clubs are poorly lit for a reason. I find it hard to get upset if someone finds out after the fact they took a transgender person home. As long as you are not actively endangering the other person through illness or similar, then in my mind it's no worse than what happens every day in those situations.
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This made me immediately think of this:Quote:
OTOH, if we're talking purely physical encounters without emotional connection, then I find it hard to get upset. People lie to each other constantly in these situations. "What do you mean you're not really a Nobel Peace Prize winning astronaut?!!!".
I wonder if there is a Transgender Playbook?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
ttps://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/nov/12/gayle-newland-sentenced-eight-years-prison-duping-friend-having-sex
Here's an encounter that was certainly regretted in retrospect because it was based on a lie.
It's actually quite hilarious we're having this discussion, it's certainly relevant for people who engage in casual sex, which is common nowadays. But it also happens to people, rarely though, in long term relationships. Abstaining from sex until marriage and going through marriage prep would theoretically eliminate this problem for most men not wishing to have sex with a ******. Casual sex is so common we're willing to share the most intimate of encounters even before we share any true intimacy. We'll have sex with people all day long without even getting to know them. Sad.
Here's an encounter that was certainly regretted in retrospect because it was based on a lie.
It's actually quite hilarious we're having this discussion, it's certainly relevant for people who engage in casual sex, which is common nowadays. But it also happens to people, rarely though, in long term relationships. Abstaining from sex until marriage and going through marriage prep would theoretically eliminate this problem for most men not wishing to have sex with a ******. Casual sex is so common we're willing to share the most intimate of encounters even before we share any true intimacy. We'll have sex with people all day long without even getting to know them. Sad.
Edit. Wrong thread
These are merely hypothetical imperatives.AstroAg17 said:
Everyone has moral standards. They're not all the same. The question is posed to your particular morality.
If I was dating someone who had a severe mental illness (treated or untreated), I would want to know. This falls into that category....
That's not what he's asking. The question isn't would you want to know. It's whether the other party has a moral obligation to inform you they are transgender. I think most would agree that they do, just as would be the case with anything that could be reasonably understood as a "deal-breaker".RAB91 said:
If I was dating someone who had a severe mental illness (treated or untreated), I would want to know. This falls into that category....
“Conquer men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of justice to shame by your compassion."
--St Isaac the Syrian
--St Isaac the Syrian