I do a lot of work with my son's BSA Troop and have to send out emails via a platform that has everyone's address in the database. Long story short is that because of how our email blast platform is set up, most emails go to the dad and only sometimes the mom. I am addressing that technical aspect with our communication volunteer. But the dad seems to be in capable of forwarding information to his ex-wife and vice versa. I sent an email last night and he replied "Can you also send this to Johnny's mom?" This happens pretty frequently.

In the future we are copying both parents, but is it unusual for divorced parents to be this stubborn about not discussing how to coparent?

bookmarked and page juan

Burdizzo said:

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In the future we are copying both parents, but is it unusual for divorced parents to be this stubborn about not discussing how to coparent?

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Depends on the circumstances of the divorce itself, and how much anger one/both party carry forward.

Lmao

Corn Pop said:

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THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

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When I left my wife I cut off all communication with both her and the kids. It's much better in the long run to just rip off the band aid and start over fresh.

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You sounds like a real winner

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username checks out

Quote:

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In the future we are copying both parents

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Rule #1

Buddy of mine married and divorced the same women twice. First time the divorce was not amicable; the second time, it was amicable.

That being said, it is his opinion that the second time when they both "acted like adults" and put their kids as first as they could, was better for everyone.

That being said, I dont anything about this. Hope you get some answers that help.

Why not tell him no like a grown up?

Definitely depends on the relationship between the parents but it sucks they make you responsible for their crap. To be on the safe side, copy both parents and let them sort it out. We have a great relationship here and we still get copied on things for our daughter. We'll coordinate responses and such but we are not the type of people to let our adversarial history overpower our need to parent. Divorce really sucks and there's no good way to approach this other than sending things to both parents to avoid awkwardness and potential involvement.

As someone that has been divorced for most of my boys 14 years, me and my ex communicate a lot, either via text, email, phone or in person. Just happens since we both are very involved in our son's life. With that being said, when my boy is in a group or sports team, we will often forward communications, but we also request the other parent be included on distribution lists.

Funky Winkerbean said:

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Why not tell him no like a grown up?

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In this instance I forwarded his request to me onto her. The email chain had all the pertinent information and attachments. I hate being passive-aggressive, but they are doing this to each other as well as me.

We will fix our messaging platform to copy them both in the future.

When I text my ex, my son is included. Anything we have to say to each other he should be able to read.
If we email, same thing. He is cc'ed.
Keeps it civil and shows him that we are adult enough to appreciate he is part of both our lives.

my parents used us as messengers.. which was better for everyone because if they were talking, it was probably more like yelling and sometimes in public. This was before everyone was emailing/texting etc though. I can't imagine how different things would be tbh.

yeah, it still baffles me when I see divorced parents act like friends and be super collaborative. It is just so beyond what was/is my "normal". My parents have been divorced as long as they were married at this point and we still have to do maneuvering to get them in the same room. We don't even bother asking them to be cordial, just allow them to play "pretend the other doesnt exist"

THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

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When I left my wife I cut off all communication with both her and the kids. It's much better in the long run to just rip off the band aid and start over fresh.

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How are things down in Boquillas these days?

Burdizzo said:

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I do a lot of work with my son's BSA Troop and have to send out emails via a platform that has everyone's address in the database. Long story short is that because of how our email blast platform is set up, most emails go to the dad and only sometimes the mom. I am addressing that technical aspect with our communication volunteer. But the dad seems to be in capable of forwarding information to his ex-wife and vice versa. I sent an email last night and he replied "Can you also send this to Johnny's mom?" This happens pretty frequently.

In the future we are copying both parents, but is it unusual for divorced parents to be this stubborn about not discussing how to coparent?

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To be fair, that's a legit response to even a married couple. If he wants it sent to both parents, it's easier to ask you to do it instead of forwarding every email.

swimmerbabe11 said:

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yeah, it still baffles me when I see divorced parents act like friends and be super collaborative. It is just so beyond what was/is my "normal". My parents have been divorced as long as they were married at this point and we still have to do maneuvering to get them in the same room. We don't even bother asking them to be cordial, just allow them to play "pretend the other doesnt exist"

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Specific to this event, I am not asking anything close to that. This communication was for an upcoming event on Saturday. The son has signed up for it, and the dad has volunteered to help with it. The mom hasn't said a peep ever about this event when she was copied in the past. I assume she isn't going. This email blast went to the son's email (as if I expect a 6th grader to actually read the email) and the dad's email.

hedge said:

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What you should do is bang the ex wife to assert dominance then pee on the man's yard

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Underrated post. More stars!!

hedge said:

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Corn Pop said:

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THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

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When I left my wife I cut off all communication with both her and the kids. It's much better in the long run to just rip off the band aid and start over fresh.

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You sounds like a real winner

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username checks out

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Do not know CHOSEN so will not judge.

But thinking there is something else going on there.

hedge said:

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He would have 1/4 left

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I was told there would be no calculus

Dan_the_Enchanter said:

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Buddy of mine married and divorced the same women twice. First time the divorce was not amicable; the second time, it was amicable.

That being said, it is his opinion that the second time when they both "acted like adults" and put their kids as first as they could, was better for everyone.

That being said, I dont anything about this. Hope you get some answers that help.

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Your buddy is an idiot. There is no reason to go back to someone you already divorced. Did he at least get a pre-nup the 2nd time?

Burdizzo said:

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I do a lot of work with my son's BSA Troop and have to send out emails via a platform that has everyone's address in the database. Long story short is that because of how our email blast platform is set up, most emails go to the dad and only sometimes the mom. I am addressing that technical aspect with our communication volunteer. But the dad seems to be in capable of forwarding information to his ex-wife and vice versa. I sent an email last night and he replied "Can you also send this to Johnny's mom?" This happens pretty frequently.

In the future we are copying both parents, but is it unusual for divorced parents to be this stubborn about not discussing how to coparent?

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Write back to the dad that you'll tell the ex-wife tonight in person.