Top protip of the day.
Post Reply
1 of 1
Hot take: you have to be rude from time to time to get things done.
4,799 Views |
32 Replies |
Last: 3 yr ago by BostonAg74
When you have to opportunity to be anything, be kind.
Or maybe people just don't like you.lancevance said:
Top protip of the day.
Mostly Sunny Disposition
Joined:
Jun 22, 2011
Posts:
12,457
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Username checks out.Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
You don't have to be rude. But you do have to show you have some fortitude and come from a position of strength and confidence.
I think that's a big part of development from an immature youngish adult to someone with more life experience - learning that you don't have to be rude to show strength.
I think that's a big part of development from an immature youngish adult to someone with more life experience - learning that you don't have to be rude to show strength.
When I started my last company, one of the other new guys was a dude from Penn State. He was born and raised in Brooklyn and was everything you'd image when you picture someone from there. During a meeting once, he told us in the room "In New York, if you want to get something done, you start the conversation with 'look, a***ole'" in his thick accent. I think we all laughed for about 5 minutes after that.
Off topic, but related...there was another guy born in NY that was recruited from Penn State, and his first time in Houston, he told me and some other co-workers he wanted to go to a "cowboy" bar and punch one of the cowboys and tell him "I'm from New York, mother****er!" Me and another guy told him he probably shouldn't do that because he'll most likely do it to someone who has been throwing hay and wrestling cattle their whole life, so his little punch won't do anything to them besides justify them kicking his ass. He shut up after that.
Off topic, but related...there was another guy born in NY that was recruited from Penn State, and his first time in Houston, he told me and some other co-workers he wanted to go to a "cowboy" bar and punch one of the cowboys and tell him "I'm from New York, mother****er!" Me and another guy told him he probably shouldn't do that because he'll most likely do it to someone who has been throwing hay and wrestling cattle their whole life, so his little punch won't do anything to them besides justify them kicking his ass. He shut up after that.
Mostly Sunny Disposition
Joined:
Jun 22, 2011
Posts:
12,457
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
aTm2004 said:
When I started my last company, one of the other new guys was a dude from Penn State. He was born and raised in Brooklyn and was everything you'd image when you picture someone from there. During a meeting once, he told us in the room "In New York, if you want to get something done, you start the conversation with 'look, a***ole'" in his thick accent. I think we all laughed for about 5 minutes after that.
Off topic, but related...there was another guy born in NY that was recruited from Penn State, and his first time in Houston, he told me and some other co-workers he wanted to go to a "cowboy" bar and punch one of the cowboys and tell him "I'm from New York, mother****er!" Me and another guy told him he probably shouldn't do that because he'll most likely do it to someone who has been throwing hay and wrestling cattle their whole life, so his little punch won't do anything to them besides justify them kicking his ass. He shut up after that.
Love it, because I have vendors from New England that I have to treat this way to get their attention
Thread title sounds like it came from Karen's book of quotes.
I actually like selling to people and doing deals in the northeast, because you can act super busy and rushed and say," look, dont have time for chit chat, this is what i need. Here's why you should do it. Whats the pushback?"
not if you're 6'4" or taller with broad shoulders & a convincing personality. Short people can and usually do remedy the situation quicker under these conditions.
Use this phrase.
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."
You can add **** and mother ****er to add more flare.
"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."
You can add **** and mother ****er to add more flare.
Be Firm. Be Friendly. Not rude. Talk Southern.
Don't worry 'bout losing your accent
A Southern man tells better jokes
A Southern man tells better jokes
Using the terms Pro tip and hot take should require a letter of resignation. Way to lose the little respect you may have garnered.
Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Says the guy scrolling Texags in the middle of the workdday
Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Does corporate give you discounts? Of course they do, you sly dog. Man. You must have a closet filled with sweet Gap and Banana Republic clothes.
I am a big believer that being kind is best in all situations. I also just had a situation where where I kindly suggested to the seller in a real estate purchase I am trying to make that I have no problem filing suit and tying up his property in court for months if he wants to continue to be in breach of his contract. Problem was quickly resolved.
Mostly Sunny Disposition
Joined:
Jun 22, 2011
Posts:
12,457
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
redass89 said:Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Says the guy scrolling Texags in the middle of the workdday
Touch! Nice burn.
Mostly Sunny Disposition
Joined:
Jun 22, 2011
Posts:
12,457
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Ol_Ag_02 said:Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Does corporate give you discounts? Of course they do, you sly dog. Man. You must have a closet filled with sweet Gap and Banana Republic clothes.
I've read your post a few times, and, I can't for the life of me, figure out the meaning behind your response. Maybe you can help my slow ass out?
Mostly Sunny Disposition said:Ol_Ag_02 said:Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Does corporate give you discounts? Of course they do, you sly dog. Man. You must have a closet filled with sweet Gap and Banana Republic clothes.
I've read your post a few times, and, I can't for the life of me, figure out the meaning behind your response. Maybe you can help my slow ass out?
I was trying to insinuate that you're a giant loser who manages a Gap as a grown man. Takes all the fun out of it, if I have to explain it. I'll try harder at my insults next time. I guess I'm just not very good at them.
Evil may not be done so that good may come of it.
In all things, charity.
In all things, charity.
Mostly Sunny Disposition
Joined:
Jun 22, 2011
Posts:
12,457
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Ol_Ag_02 said:Mostly Sunny Disposition said:Ol_Ag_02 said:Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
Does corporate give you discounts? Of course they do, you sly dog. Man. You must have a closet filled with sweet Gap and Banana Republic clothes.
I've read your post a few times, and, I can't for the life of me, figure out the meaning behind your response. Maybe you can help my slow ass out?
I was trying to insinuate that you're a giant loser who manages a Gap as a grown man. Takes all the fun out of it, if I have to explain it. I'll try harder at my insults next time. I guess I'm just not very good at them.
Yeah, the message missed the mark WIIIIDE right.
I manage the Gulf Coast P&L for a Fortune 100 company. Lots of good candidates in the younger ranks but can be highly highly emotional.
Hi Mr. Barnes
Mostly Sunny Disposition
Joined:
Jun 22, 2011
Posts:
12,457
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Potcake said:
Hi Mr. Barnes
****, I'm outed!
aTm2004 said:
When I started my last company, one of the other new guys was a dude from Penn State. He was born and raised in Brooklyn and was everything you'd image when you picture someone from there. During a meeting once, he told us in the room "In New York, if you want to get something done, you start the conversation with 'look, a***ole'" in his thick accent. I think we all laughed for about 5 minutes after that.
Off topic, but related...there was another guy born in NY that was recruited from Penn State, and his first time in Houston, he told me and some other co-workers he wanted to go to a "cowboy" bar and punch one of the cowboys and tell him "I'm from New York, mother****er!" Me and another guy told him he probably shouldn't do that because he'll most likely do it to someone who has been throwing hay and wrestling cattle their whole life, so his little punch won't do anything to them besides justify them kicking his ass. He shut up after that.
My experience with New Yorkers is they talk a lot of mess and don't do anything. I'm married to one.. When **** hits the fan, they scatter like a bunch or rats. Anyone who grows up in a culture where guns are prohibited have the luxury to run their mouth without much repercussion. This doesn't apply to people who grew up in the ghetto. The streets manage themselves. .
TxAg82 said:
I am a big believer that being kind is best in all situations. I also just had a situation where where I kindly suggested to the seller in a real estate purchase I am trying to make that I have no problem filing suit and tying up his property in court for months if he wants to continue to be in breach of his contract. Problem was quickly resolved.
I'm kind until I'm forced not to be kind. When that happens, look out. I'm nobody's doormat or fool. I can become an ugly force to be dealt with pretty quickly.
This is what happens when kids don't play organized sports when they are young. You need to learn that if you screw up you're going to get an ass-chewing. It also teaches people to be on time. Do you make your employees run laps if they are late?Mostly Sunny Disposition said:
I think there's a small difference between stern and rude, but with all the emotional jag offs out there today, being stern often gets confused with being rude.
Trust me, I manage a lot of people under 40 and about half of them have never had a parent or superior speak bluntly with them.
The thing is, I'm easy going if you need help and make mistakes on strategy and negotiation. If I have to manage your behavior (basic job requirements like show up on time, do the minimum required), then I'm going to be stern, and if I have to do it a second time, I'm a dick. I have no time for babysitting.
My policy as well. Be nice until it's time not to be nice. Some people just take, and take and take, so you have to be a little more "direct" with them.TexasAggie81 said:TxAg82 said:
I am a big believer that being kind is best in all situations. I also just had a situation where where I kindly suggested to the seller in a real estate purchase I am trying to make that I have no problem filing suit and tying up his property in court for months if he wants to continue to be in breach of his contract. Problem was quickly resolved.
I'm kind until I'm forced not to be kind. When that happens, look out. I'm nobody's doormat or fool. I can become an ugly force to be dealt with pretty quickly.
Just like with children, it all comes back to consequences. Being stern is necessary in a lot of situations. However, the more important thing, is that even when speaking in a perfectly calm and kind manner, you follow through with consequences if the person does not do what you ask. I.e. escalating up the chain of command, enforcing disciplinary measures, losing the privilege of longer deadlines in the future (explicitly stated to them directly), etc.
This way, once you actually enforce the consequences due to their laziness or whatever excuse, they're much more likely to take you seriously, as opposed to just hearing a tone change in your voice.
This way, once you actually enforce the consequences due to their laziness or whatever excuse, they're much more likely to take you seriously, as opposed to just hearing a tone change in your voice.
I have found that in most cases positive persuasion often works just as well, if not better than negative escalation when it comes to conflict resolution. I have adopted a strategy of generally employing positive persuasion almost always an initial approach to confrontation. This helps me focus on achieving the desired outcome, rather than trading jabs or making a point with someone who likely isn't worth my time. I also immediately cease dialogue with an individual if it becomes apparent they are unable to help me achieve the desired outcome, and select a different approach to solving my problem.
Becoming emotional almost always puts you at a disadvantage in a conflict.
ETA
Being rude =/= being resolved. I would argue being rude is a symptom of losing control of emotions.
Becoming emotional almost always puts you at a disadvantage in a conflict.
ETA
Being rude =/= being resolved. I would argue being rude is a symptom of losing control of emotions.
I worked for a New Yorker whose parents were killed by the mob. I wouldn't have screwed around with him, he was heartless.aggiederelict said:
My experience with New Yorkers is they talk a lot of mess and don't do anything. I'm married to one.. When **** hits the fan, they scatter like a bunch or rats. Anyone who grows up in a culture where guns are prohibited have the luxury to run their mouth without much repercussion. This doesn't apply to people who grew up in the ghetto. The streets manage themselves. .
One of the nice perks about being my age is that you get to be rude all the time and people just accept it.
Featured Stories
See All
2025 Prosper offensive lineman Connor Carty commits to Texas A&M
by Jason Howell
37:35
4h ago
3.2k
The Loochador Podcast: Maroon & White Game storylines abound
by Billy Liucci
6:33
4h ago
1.6k
In-Home Visit: Carty provides more Metroplex muscle for Maroon Goons
by TexAgs Recruiting
7:40
4h ago
18k
2025 OL Connor Carty calls committing to A&M a 'dream come true'
by Jason Howell
0:00
9h ago
4.4k
Struggle and Strifer
2025 Prosper offensive lineman Connor Carty commits to Texas A&M
in Billy Liucci's TexAgs Premium
69