How long did it take to put together? Did you read it to anyone prior to giving it? Did you practice?

Is that anything like rimming?

Yes. College Roommate. Don't remember. Read it to other roommate first.

Yes. Two of them. MIL and FIL.

DrZ said:

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Yes. Two of them. MIL and FIL.

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Yes. My dad's. I wrote the obit. Three of us gave eulogies. A step-brother, my uncle, and me.

I didn't write it. I knew going in what I wanted to say.

Yes. For my dad. I had to write it so that my sister could not be offended y what I might say about her.

Charpie said:

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Yes. For my dad. I had to write it so that my sister could not be offended y what I might say about her.

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You've posted about her in the past. Seems like she could get offended by anything you say or do. Some people just like to get offended and "do drama" as my granddaughter says.

Seven Costanza said:

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How long did it take to put together? Did you read it to anyone prior to giving it? Did you practice?

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Why hell yes, you need to read it to someone else and yes, practice.

Yes. My wife's grandmother. Spent time chatting with family members to get their favorite stories of time spent together and worked in my personal reasons of why she was important to me.

Made it funny and uplifting and more about celebrating a life well spent. She made it JUST past 100 and was a Rosy Riviter amongst many other things.

It's always about celebrating a persons life and all the great stories that made their impact on this Earth meaningful.

I've done three. My dads, a coaching buddy I worked with, and my 23 year old son. I'm assuming, some day, my mom will be number four. I've quite a bit of public speaking, that part is too easy for me. Funerals are another matter. When it's your family or even a good friend, it's tough.

My maternal grandfather. I think I spent 3 days working on it off and on. I didn't read it out loud to anyone, but I incorporated stories that my cousins wanted me to share and then I had one of my uncles read my notes beforehand.

My dad's. Spent about half an hour on the format, lots of in between time thinking about it. He was on hospice for 2 weeks.

My dad's. Spent about half an hour on the format, lot of in-between time thinking about the content. He was on hospice for 2 weeks.

So sorry about your son. Mine is 13. I can't imagine having to do that.

My dads. I winged it. Don't actually remember it. That whole day/week is a big blur to me.

Hamburger Dan said:

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Builder93 said:

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So sorry about your son. Mine is 13. I can't imagine having to do that.

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It's been nearly 13 years, still raw as hell. I've got old friends that will ask about things from time time. Easier to just lie and say things are better. On a brighter note- My youngest son got married in January to a beautiful, sweet young lady. They're a special kind of couple.

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The aunt I posted about in the wealthy women thread lost her only child, a son, when he was in his early or mid 20's. I was maybe 5 when it happened. Don't remember his age.

She never really got over it. Maybe that's why she worked as hard as she did and succeeded. To block out having to think about it.

It's not the natural order of things to bury a child. It's ok if you don't get over it. I'm not a proponent of not telling the truth, but if you need to stretch it to avoid having your old friends not try to get you to bare your soul, it's certainly allowable I would think.

I'm very sorry you had to go through this. I can't imagine what I would do. I'm sure it would be hard to keep from being in a dark place. I never would have guessed it based on your past posts.

My grandfather lost his only son before I was born. I was the first grandson so he did a lot of the "father" things with me. He as a wonderful grandfather but he and I shared a truly special bond that non of the other grandchildren really had with him. I was asked to do the eulogy when he died. I wrote ,practiced it and am a very comfortable and been told talented public speaker. Still completely broke down when it became "real". Practice, practice, practice but be prepared when you do lose it.

My mom asked me to write the eulogy for my dad, after we buried him. She wanted to read it in private, and she trusted me to capture his spirit. So I did. There is no way that any of us could have made it through delivering the eulogy without breaking down. Under the circumstances (all his friends had died before him), allowing my mom to read it privately was the right thing to do. We did offer it to others both in and outside the family for reading after my mom had read it. She just wanted to be allowed to grieve privately. Sometimes you just have to trust your instincts.

I've given four...my two sisters and my mom and dad. I wrote them all in about an hour. Did not share them with anyone prior to the services.

If I'm asked to do a eulogy that would mean I would be very close to the deceased. Therefore, there's no way I could get through it - I'm a big baby!

I did one for my dad. My mom asked me to. I went to a outdoor bar and took a spiral notebook and pen. It was a nice afternoon, had one beer, and not many people were there.

I just wrote and wrote then edit and rearranged it. Made it funny, real, did it the only way I knew how and how my dad would like it. I was nervous when it was my turn to present hoping I would not break down or mess up. As I read the eulogy I could hear laughter from the huge crowd and a big round of applause when I was finished. As I walked back to my seat I was so relief to get it done and did a yes with my fist that it went well. Yesterday marked 7 years of his death. Not going to lie I got a little teary eye writing this.

2 years later when my grandma passed my aunt asked me to do it. She liked how I did my dad's. I sent a group text to my cousins and asked them to tell me one thing about our grandma and incorporated that in the eulogy. I did break down in that one because I brought up how my dad will have his mom with him now.

I didn't share both prior to giving the eulogy.

The Fife said:

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Yes. I had to write the eugoogly after some friends died in a freak gasolinefight accident.

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Gasoline fight?

I lack both the insight and eloquence to do one adequately. Even for someone as close as my dad, I feel like I would just be saying "pretty good guy. Raised us right. Not lazy. Solid moral compass. I don't know what else to say."

For my brother and brother-in-law. Both in the last 18 months. Both died of cancer. Luckily they were both great guys and Vietnam Vets. So it was easy to tell stories and celebrate their lives. I made sure to make people laugh and feel good but also threw in some sadness to make sure people cried at their funerals. Its not that hard when the deceased give you something to work with.

I'm the youngest of 11 siblings with all of our parents and grandparents already gone. I"m guessing I've got at least 15 more to give over the next 15 to 20 years assuming I don't catch the corona and move to the front of the line.

My Dad's after his 12-year battle with dementia / Alzheimer's. I spent several hours on it as I wanted to do it right for him. I think it was good as I had many give compliments they didn't have to say.

I had to navigate talking about our mother, who died years before, and our stepmother for whom none of us had an ounce of love. Spent years in court trying to keep her from taking a business, land, and other assets to which she had no right.

My sisters and I prevailed in the legal system.

Despite my dislike for her, I think the eulogy gave no indication of any problems. A funeral isn't the place.

Straying slightly off topic, best eulogy I've ever heard was by a guy that had a theme. Told a story about how grandma would always him-and-haw when invited over by the kids to celebrate holidays. Grandma would wait until she had heard from all the kids and then accept the best offer. Described how she married the man that made the best offer. Grandma died right before Easter. Speech ended saying that kids had all invited grandma over again, but that this time God had made her a much better offer.

Didn't know the grandma that well, and I'm not an emotional person, but that speech really got to me. I'll never forget it.

If you can work in a theme and the rule-of-three, people usually respond extremely well. All of my best man speeches and professional presentations try to use it. I'm an introvert, and don't really like making speeches, but people keep asking me to do them. They never did before I changed my format. Just a suggestion if you're needing to write a speech and don't know where to start.

FIL; I knew when he passed that I wanted to do it. I traveled a lot so I worked on it while driving. Original eulogy was 40 minutes long and it would have been awesome; wish I would have written it down. Based on feedback from others I only used half of what I wanted to say.

I don't know if I could do my own parents but I knew my In-laws needed someone to step up and handle it in a way that Harry would be happy with.

Memorize it and practice it. I knew when I would probably get choked up so I made the next parts easy to remember to get myself back on track. Biggest thing was to be careful who you made eye contact with. I looked at my MIL once and it was really tough to recover.