Hazlewood Act and an Uncooperative Father

8,302 Views | 58 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by ABATTBQ11
Ragoo
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The Fife said:

Ragoo said:

TriAg2010 said:

Duncan Idaho said:

Millennials thinking they are entitled to things their parents earned.

I cant speak to the legality of your situation and it sucks but you dont really have any moral claim to those hours.


Class of 2024 =/= Millennial

Millennials were enrolled at A&M when this kid was born.
hey, **** you. I'm old.
Found the boomer!
I'm 34
george1992
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Just checking back for some pics if the mom and step-mom. Quite the disappoint.
TX AG 88
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JaBlanc -

Sorry that your relationship with your father isn't stronger.

Asking him for what you want and telling him what he needs to do to get it to you is perhaps not the best approach to getting him to go along.

Think of it as a sales pitch to a company or foundation that has scholarship/grant money available.

Ask to meet with him, and have a presentation prepared. Put in it your dreams/goals, how you plan to achieve them (i.e. attend A&M, major in XXX) and give him a financial breakdown (Scenario A without Hazlewood, Scenario B with Hazlewood) and show the bottom line on how his cooperation will help you out.

Don't lay on a guilt trip or act entitled ("this will make up for all the years you weren't there for me"). Do point out that he or his "new" kids could potentially use them, but show what specific conditions would have to be met for him/them to do so.

Part of his hesitancy may be a desire to preserve the benefit for him/them in the future and uncertainty as to the rules and therefore their real "value" to him/them. If it's unlikely they'd ever meet the requirements in the future (regardless of whether they do now) that may free him of his concerns. Also give him the option of assigning some PORTION of his benefit to you, and leaving a "fair" amount available for your extended family members.

Be matter of fact and do not come across as entitled. Be businesslike and present it to him as an opportunity to help you achieve your goals in life. If you did the financial aid package, show him that... doesn't it list an "expected contribution" from parents or something like that? Tell him the timeline for A&M application/acceptance and financial aid applications, etc. and tell him you need his answer by xx/xx/xxxx (date) in order to enact Plan A or decide that you must find a Plan B.

Also, get the paperwork he needs to fill out and have it available, even if you've given it to him before. I thought about suggesting you fill in the info that you can for him, but now that I think about it, that would be TOO pushy and seem opportunistic.

Good luck.
BenFiasco14
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Post cans.
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
SockDePot
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Tobias Funke said:

This thread title sounds like a Harry Potter book


Or worse. I'm quite Anglo Saxon, and my wife keeps mentioning trying Hazelwood. I don't feel like that involves me, given my skin tone. Should I be worried?

TIA
mwm
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First, sorry about the strained relationship.

I did not use my Hazelwood but passed it along to our youngest son. He accumulated and completed all of the forms & other paperwork, then presented it to me for signature. He did all the work. All I had to do was sign.

He showed me his commitment by doing the work. Maybe the same would work for you.

If it doesn't, you will have had other questions answered for you as well.

Go to work. Good luck.
Duncan Idaho
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TriAg2010 said:

Duncan Idaho said:

Millennials thinking they are entitled to things their parents earned.

I cant speak to the legality of your situation and it sucks but you dont really have any moral claim to those hours.


Class of 2024 =/= Millennial

Millennials were enrolled at A&M when this kid was born.

Ok boomer
Duncan Idaho
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TX AG 88 said:

JaBlanc -

Sorry that your relationship with your father isn't stronger.

Asking him for what you want and telling him what he needs to do to get it to you is perhaps not the best approach to getting him to go along.

Think of it as a sales pitch to a company or foundation that has scholarship/grant money available.

Ask to meet with him, and have a presentation prepared. Put in it your dreams/goals, how you plan to achieve them (i.e. attend A&M, major in XXX) and give him a financial breakdown (Scenario A without Hazlewood, Scenario B with Hazlewood) and show the bottom line on how his cooperation will help you out.

Don't lay on a guilt trip or act entitled ("this will make up for all the years you weren't there for me"). Do point out that he or his "new" kids could potentially use them, but show what specific conditions would have to be met for him/them to do so.

Part of his hesitancy may be a desire to preserve the benefit for him/them in the future and uncertainty as to the rules and therefore their real "value" to him/them. If it's unlikely they'd ever meet the requirements in the future (regardless of whether they do now) that may free him of his concerns. Also give him the option of assigning some PORTION of his benefit to you, and leaving a "fair" amount available for your extended family members.

Be matter of fact and do not come across as entitled. Be businesslike and present it to him as an opportunity to help you achieve your goals in life. If you did the financial aid package, show him that... doesn't it list an "expected contribution" from parents or something like that? Tell him the timeline for A&M application/acceptance and financial aid applications, etc. and tell him you need his answer by xx/xx/xxxx (date) in order to enact Plan A or decide that you must find a Plan B.

Also, get the paperwork he needs to fill out and have it available, even if you've given it to him before. I thought about suggesting you fill in the info that you can for him, but now that I think about it, that would be TOO pushy and seem opportunistic.

Good luck.

This is terrible advice.

Step one: reach out to your father with out any preconceived notions of anything happening.
Step 2: be patient, be the bigger person and try to build as healthy of a relationship with him as possible.
Step 3: accept the fact that you have no more right to ask for these hours (if he even has them) than you would asking for a car.

If you reach out with getting help for college as the primary reason, you are going to be really disappointed
JaBlanc
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Alright, I know it's been quite a while since I checked this thread.

I understand the points about me not having a right to these hours, and I can see how I came across as feeling that way. I presented him with all the papers necessary, at the behest of my mother, but he put it off to "do more research." After leaving and calling him at least once every two weeks to talk, (with honestly no hopes of any progress, I just want to talk with my bros from another mother) nothing has changed. My mom is honestly tired of me trying to even talk with him, and may contribute to my seemingly... "needy" attitude in this, and my stepdad has told me that I need to just call him up and say "fish or cut line." I am getting tired of getting jerked around with my father hmm-ing and huu-ing about and want him to just be frank and honest enough to tell me what his thoughts are. I'd respect him far more than currently if he just said "yeah, nah, you're getting nothin." At the same time, I want to keep in contact with my half-brothers, vain as that is.

If I am to be honest for a moment, the only reason I am even on this forum is because my mom was looking up A&M related information on the Hazlewood Act and trying to get me to do something about it. Obviously, there is nothing I or anyone can do, but I'm still not doing enough. Before going through all the posts on this thread, I had grown to feel it was only my father manipulating me to hate my mother. Now though, I see what a two-way street that is.

Thanks guys, I hope I didn't leave too bad an impression with my starting of this thread.
Martin Q. Blank
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He doesn't qualify for Hazelwood until at least he is out of the Navy. No need to burn a bridge over nothing.
BleacherRat
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Martin Q. Blank said:

He doesn't qualify for Hazelwood until at least he is out of the Navy. No need to burn a bridge over nothing.
So we've been reading about this situation for two pages and the father doesn't qualify for Hazelwood yet?

Come on people!
Gig 'em!
LEJ
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It's fish or cut bait bro. I'm cuttin bait.

HollywoodBQ
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AG
STAFF - Please remove this kid's name from the thread. I'm sure that he won't want something he posted as a 17 year old following him around forever on a Google Search.

OP - Your best move is probably to go talk to your local recruiter, serve in the Military yourself and then use your GI Bill benefits to go to college and your own Hazlewood benefits for yourself.

Do NOT get married while you're in the service. There are lots of bandits out there trying to get your benefits.
Martin Q. Blank
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He can't use Hazelwood either even if he serves. He has to use the GI Bill first which usually doesn't happen during undergrad.
TexDill15
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You also have to be a dependent of your Dad to be able to use the hours.

Eliminatus
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Last few posts are correct.

Have to be a vet to get Hazelwood. Not active duty.

Have to completely exhaust GI Bill first. This is a hard requirement and non-negotiable. Though GIBill is also transferable but also a completely different process altogether with different requirements and stipulations. And they are cracking down on the transferability of that as well. Lot more conditions these days.

In other words, you are asking the wrong question. Unless your pops already previously used the GI Bill and exhausted it, you need to be pursuing info on that and it's process. Which again, is considerably different than Hazelwood.

If I were you, I would shoot an exploratory email to either of the Karens at the VRSC AFTER doing so more legwork and research on your own. I guarantee most of the questions you might have, already have answers on the interwebs. Karen Allen or Cambronero. You can find their contact info on the TAMU vet page. They are the people who deal with this stuff at TAMU and are great to work with. Karen C. I am convinced is the reason I got in at all, and Karen A. is the reason I am in my current major and damn thankful for it.

As to the personal side of all of this, I got nothing. Also have a non existent father so I get that struggle. And if it is a no go on the benefits, just remember you can sign up and serve yourself! Best way to solve any benefit issues. Get them yourself.

Good luck.
Fonzie Scheme
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Yvan eht nioj.
Fonzie Scheme
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Green2Maroon
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The military always needs new people to sign up. If you really want the benefits, then sign your own contract and serve your own enlistment. It will probably mean more to you to earn it and then a degree as opposed to the college money being handed to you.
PoohAh97
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Lol dependapotamus
BenFiasco14
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george1992 said:

Post a pic of your mom.
It's been five days and still no rule 1.
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
Scoopen Skwert
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This thread delivers.
ABATTBQ11
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Duncan Idaho
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ABATTBQ11 said:

Tell him if he doesn't get his **** together, step-dad is walking you down the aisle when the time comes.

Promoting gay marriage
ABATTBQ11
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Thought it was a chick when I read the op. That's what I get for not reading the whole thread. Or the whole op.
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