What if atheists went door-to-door?

6,315 Views | 59 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by Brian Earl Spilner
Brian Earl Spilner
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Food for thought.
Claude!
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Let me answer your question with a question, and this one will really blow your mind. What if God were one of us?
BenFiasco14
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Brian Earl Spilner said:

Food for thought.
You'd open your door and see people like this:



As opposed to your Jehovah's Witness types.

They'd say stuff like, "Good day sir, do you have a minute to hear about how you're a complete ****** for believing in a fake magic sky fairy? If you listen to me, you, too can reach peak intellectual euphoria!" *tips fedora*
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
IIIHorn
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I'm in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

I have to go door to door and tell everybody I'm someone else.



- Steven Wright
wangus12
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That would require most of them actually leaving their mom's basment
Fonzie Scheme
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I would tell them about Jesus.
infinity ag
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ha ha good point, had never thought of that

Muslims, Boble thumpers and others would freak out
Brian Earl Spilner
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What makes that different from Jehova's WItness types?
Liquid Wrench
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Do yall consider Jehova's witnesses to be real Christians? If not, is there a church you consider to be more true to Christ's teaching than others?
Beer Baron
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Fonzie Scheme said:

I would tell them about Jesus.
That would be fantastic because as an American living in Texas for nearly 40 years I've barely even heard about the guy.
AgGrad99
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Quote:

Do yall consider Jehova's witnesses to be real Christians?
I dunno. Do you consider an airplane to be a car?
PoohAh97
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Beer Baron said:

Fonzie Scheme said:

I would tell them about Jesus.
That would be fantastic because as an American living in Texas for nearly 40 years I've barely even heard about the guy.
Well, I have some Good News and some uh... bad news...
BenFiasco14
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Brian Earl Spilner said:

What makes that different from Jehova's WItness types?
The fedora, acne-ridden face, the smell, diet of doritos and mountain dew...
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
Fonzie Scheme
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I figure it would be the fastest legal way to get them to leave.
PoohAh97
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BenFiasco14 said:

Brian Earl Spilner said:

What makes that different from Jehova's WItness types?
The fedora, acne-ridden face, the smell, diet of doritos and mountain dew...
I thought that was Magic: The Gathering.
UmustBKidding
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I hear about him all the time. Is he still floating concrete for Mike Ponce.
Brian Earl Spilner
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I dunno, I've seen those guys on the bicycles, I'm pretty sure they keep doritos in there.
swc93
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Wouldn't happen; atheists aren't trying to sell anything.
Woody2006
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BenFiasco14 said:

Brian Earl Spilner said:

What makes that different from Jehova's WItness types?
The fedora, acne-ridden face, the smell, diet of doritos and mountain dew...
Are you sure you're not describing general board posters rather than atheists?
HBCanine08
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Smells like Christian criticism up in here
Unemployed
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wangus12 said:

That would require most of them actually leaving their mom's basment
How else would you know someone is an atheist without him telling you that he is one without being prompted?
proc
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Do they have big cans?
Fonzie Scheme
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Excellent point. They're on par with vegans and Crossfitters
SigAg6
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Claude! said:

Let me answer your question with a question, and this one will really blow your mind. What if God were one of us?
just a slob like one of us
Dr. Nefario
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Beer Baron said:

Fonzie Scheme said:

I would tell them about Jesus.
That would be fantastic because as an American living in Texas for nearly 40 years I've barely even heard about the guy.


You're clearly a man who mows his own lawn.
Atreides Ornithopter
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What if Texaggers went door to door to encourage real thread topics.
DD88
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I would ask them to explain how abiogenesis is statistically possible.
Scoopen Skwert
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Are they hot and have big bewbs????

hph6203
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Fonzie Scheme said:

Excellent point. They're on par with vegans and Crossfitters
Nope. Promise you there are several people in your life that are that you have absolutely no idea about, because they don't want to deal with the judgement and damnation that gets thrown around.
.
GiveEmHellBill
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I'd answer with a "well, heididdly-ho there, neighbor-ino!"
expresswrittenconsent
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Anyone going door to door is an ass hole.
goodAg80
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expresswrittenconsent said:

Anyone going door to door is an ass hole.
expresswrittenconsent
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Shes my Kirby salesrep.
Burdizzo
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Atheists came to my door and left a copy of Kvetchtower.
Beer Baron
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Dr. Nefario said:

Beer Baron said:

Fonzie Scheme said:

I would tell them about Jesus.
That would be fantastic because as an American living in Texas for nearly 40 years I've barely even heard about the guy.


You're clearly a man who mows his own lawn.
Of course. Or how dare you. I don't know whether that was funny or insulting. Post tits.
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