My wife's cousin (woman) is married to this guy and they have 2 kids who are in single digits by age. The cousin is very ambitious, career minded and driven. She is doing reasonably well in her career and in many ways defined herself by her career. For Indian women, working is a relatively new thing so it carries a lot of prestige. She works long hours, she leaves early and comes back late, around 7pm.
Her husband is some years older and is very laid back in his career ambitions. I know him for many years and I think he is an intelligent person who knows what is going on in the world and can think and analyze. However, career-wise he is where he was 10 years ago and works for a Government agency where the work is mundane and boring but they have things like pensions and other stuff. Lots of red tape and work happens slow.
Outside of work he does not do anything to learn new skills in his job to move up or to find another job that pays him more. He takes the kids to classes, does the grocery and then watches TV and movies. He works for a Govt agency, so I was able to google and find his salary as it is public. He used to make slightly more than me in 2010 but in 2017 but I make about 85% more than him and now have a higher title.
I believe in learning new skills and making the changes to move up the ladder either in the same company or different. He does not seem to. I met him over lunch a month ago and asked him how his job was and he said "no job satisfaction but it allows for flexible hours". I was taken aback as I think that a man needs to man up and work to advance himself rather than settle for "flex hours".
Some years ago, my wife was praising him about how he helps out his wife in the house, takes care of the kids, does the laundry and helps out and how I don't do enough of that (bad bad husband). My argument was that I am doing an advanced degree from a top school (post A&M), and am learning other things to advance and bring in more income for us. I do help out and do things outside the house like lawn, bills, auto but not as much Mr Mom stuff as him. Last month I told her about what he said and she dismissively said she didn't respect him. Wow.
My question is do women here on this board and around you respect men who give up their career goals so that they can be Mr Mom? Do their own wives appreciate it or lose respect for them?
