What's your favorite? My submission:

Harry Hart: I'm a Catholic *****, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.

INB4 A Few Good Men and Scent of a Woman.

Why am I calling you by your first names? I don't even know you. I still call my boss "Mister", and I've been working for him for seven years, but all of a sudden I walk in here and I'm calling you Rick and Sheila like we're in some kind of AA meeting... I don't want to be your buddy, Rick. I just want some breakfast.

Fonzie Scheme said:

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It really begins and ends with Gunny in Full Metal Jacket.

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I was about to post "who said that!? Who the **** said that!? Who's the slimy little **********......!?"

Ulrich said:

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Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy ***** Where's the Tylenol?

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EOT

This is EOT, and saying otherwise makes you a moron.

nhayden said:

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This is EOT, and saying otherwise makes you a moron.

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The scene at the end where he tells off Buddy is the best, but I can't find it anywhere.

Quote:

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Friday

Mr Jones (on the toilet): Craig!
Craig: What?
Mr Jones: Come in here!
[Craig enters bathroom, Mr Jones is spraying air freshener] Craig: Aw man, I'll wait until you come out.
Mr Jones: Boy, bring yo *** up in here! What you talkin 'bout, you 'wait til I come out'? I smelt yo **** for 22 years...now you can smell mine for 5 minutes.
...Urgh! [plop] Mr Jones: Now your mama told me what happened to you yesterday.
Craig: ...Wha?...
Mr Jones: That was stupid! ...How the hell you gonna get fired...on your day off?!
Craig: I don't know.
...Urrrgh! [plop] Mr Jones: Well, you need a trade. Look at that there, over there on the C-C-...urrrgh!...on the counter there. Ughh.
Craig: ...I ain't tryna be no dog-catcher!
Mr Jones: Why not?
Craig: I don't even like dogs.
Mr Jones: That's the beauty of it! I-I grab a dog...and...I-I choke him, and I-I...kick the **** out of him! All day long - my foot up a dog's ***! Yes, BANG BANG BANG up his ***! ...That's my plea-sure!
Craig: ...No thanks.
Mr Jones: Well, I'll tell you one thing. Round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month - the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin a dog. You gotta worry about a dog...catchin YOUR ***!

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It's extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat. When the virus penetrates the red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash, then the poison goes to work on the central nervous system, causing severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable drooling. At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence Until finally, the poor b@stard is reduced to a quivering wasted piece of jelly.

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Completely agree.

Two sentences is not a rant. I rest my case.

Too obvious.

Kee Kee said:

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Too obvious.

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Hate that movie

Dang it.

Leo Getz from Lethal Weapon:

Drive Thru:They **** YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They **** YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got ****ed! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets ****ed? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a ****! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?

Hospital: Oh, that's great, Riggs. Ha ha. That's great. Well, you know what I say? They **** you at the hospital! First they drug you, then they **** you! And when they're done ****ING you, along comes the insurance company and ****S you some more! Ten dollars for a ****ING aspirin...

Cell Phones: They **** you with cell phones. That's what it is. They're ****in' you with the cell phone. They love it when you get cut off. Y'know why, huh? You know why? 'Cause when you call back - -which they know you're gonna do. - -they charge you for that ****in' first minute again at that high rate.

Walter Sobchak

Go'on... Git your ass outta here!