Parking lot hypothetical

2,629 Views | 27 Replies | Last: 7 yr ago by The Wonderer
redd38
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If a parking lot had spots up front with the handicap and expected mother spots that were marked "Reserved For A**holes", would you park there?
Talon2DSO
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No. I'd park in the expectant mothers spot. If I'm going to self identify as an *******, why should I park anywhere else?
MooreTrucker
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No, because I'm not an ******* so I couldn't park there. And being not an *******, if I did park there illegally, I would be an ******* and therefore legally parked, so not an *******, so illegally parked.

Quite the conundrum.
chipotle
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Don't forget War Veterans(Lowes) and women with children(HEB) parking spots.

Next thing you know the whole lot is gonna be empty.
MGS
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So the signs would say "Reserved for Handicapped and Expectant Mother A**holes"?
Unemployed
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MooreTrucker said:

No, because I'm not an ******* so I couldn't park there. And being not an *******, if I did park there illegally, I would be an ******* and therefore legally parked, so not an *******, so illegally parked.

Quite the conundrum.
Gotdamn boy..you know English?
ClickClack
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MooreTrucker said:

No, because I'm not an ******* so I couldn't park there. And being not an *******, if I did park there illegally, I would be an ******* and therefore legally parked, so not an *******, so illegally parked.

Quite the conundrum.


What if the space was for potty mouths
agnerd
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I'm definitely an a-hole. I'd make sure to park across both of the reserved a-hole spaces so that there would be no doubt about how much of an a-hole I am.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
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I would use a space reserved for "the dead hooker in the trunk is starting to smell." You'd be surprised how often that becomes a problem when you have to stop at the grocery store to pick up the usual bleach, large box of condoms, bottle of old harper, a disposable enema, contractor-grade trash bags, and ipecac.
Flashdiaz
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I don't mind walking an extra 20 ft. so I'll park in a normal spot.

Those signs should be renamed to 'parking for lazy fat *****'
The Wonderer
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I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.
Tatem
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yes, because lazy
GigEmAgs14
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The Wonderer said:

I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.


Wonderer is under 18 years old. Spreadsheet updated
Milwaukees Best Light
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This is a modern version of back of the bus. Every damn person gets an up front spot except 18-64 year old white dudes.
MooreTrucker
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ClickClack said:

MooreTrucker said:

No, because I'm not an ******* so I couldn't park there. And being not an *******, if I did park there illegally, I would be an ******* and therefore legally parked, so not an *******, so illegally parked.

Quite the conundrum.


What if the space was for potty mouths
Hey, I didn't start the thread about a**holes, redd did.
John Francis Donaghy
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Milwaukees Best Light said:

This is a modern version of back of the bus. Every damn person gets an up front spot except 18-64 year old white dudes.


And those dudes still make it through the door quicker than the folks parked up front, because they walk 10x faster than everyone else at the store.
toucan82
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That's because they're the only people who can afford health care because centuries ago other white men owned slaves
TyHolden
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what about parking for fat peoples? I see some lard ass suing Walmart after walking and getting a heart attack.
Pepper Brooks
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DSAg44 said:

what about parking for fat peoples? I see some lard ass suing Walmart after walking and getting a heart attack.
Im likely offending at least 2/3rds of the GB with this but IDGAF. I'd probably quit giving a store my business if I saw this. Fat people are generally lazy, entitled, and insecure people and obesity is easily my biggest turn off when meeting a new person. There are some people with medical conditions that fit the fat category and that's understandable so I apologize in advance if you fall into that subsection.
aggiejayrod
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Talon2DSO said:

No. I'd park in the expectant mothers spot. If I'm going to self identify as an *******, why should I park anywhere else?

If?
Talon2DSO
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aggiejayrod said:

Talon2DSO said:

No. I'd park in the expectant mothers spot. If I'm going to self identify as an *******, why should I park anywhere else?

If?
George08
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I wish my truck had a bigger engine when I park in the "low emission vehicle only" spots
histag10
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GigEmAgs14 said:

The Wonderer said:

I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.


Wonderer is under 18 years old. Spreadsheet updated


Did you stop being your parents child when you turned 18? Do they say "oh, that's my adult"?

Are the children of God only people under the age of 18?
The Wonderer
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histag10 said:

GigEmAgs14 said:

The Wonderer said:

I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.


Wonderer is under 18 years old. Spreadsheet updated


Did you stop being your parents child when you turned 18? Do they say "oh, that's my adult"?

Are the children of God only people under the age of 18?
/ColinAggie
MouthBQ98
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It would be two spots, and you'd double park in it.
HBCanine08
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The Wonderer said:

I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.
I can see where you get your sense of humor from
GigEmAgs14
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histag10 said:

GigEmAgs14 said:

The Wonderer said:

I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.


Wonderer is under 18 years old. Spreadsheet updated


Did you stop being your parents child when you turned 18? Do they say "oh, that's my adult"?

Are the children of God only people under the age of 18?
take it to the religion board
aggiesq
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Milwaukees Best Light said:

This is a modern version of back of the bus. Every damn person gets an up front spot except 18-64 year old white dudes.
yeah, but there are so many favored groups getting the seats up front that there's not enough front so they're really toward the back. special isnt special when everyone gets to claim the title
The Wonderer
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HBCanine08 said:

The Wonderer said:

I was running errands with my mom on Christmas Eve (I was driving her car) and we had to go to the HEB in The Woodlands and they had this sign:




We're getting out the car and this lady in a minivan yells at me and says "you *******, that's for people with kids" because I got out of the car faster than my mom. My mom got out looked at the woman and said "Merry Christmas from me and my son" with a big smile on her face. The fatty in the minivan got pissed and drove off. People a few spots over broke out in laughter.
I can see where you get your sense of humor from

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
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