'The Way We Were': The look-back limbo of a Longhorns fan

Recently, I was amused by a message board debate between Texas A&M and Texas football fans. They were arguing which team had the better football program.

A telephone call interrupted my reading. I immediately recognized the number with the 512 area code that appeared on my iPhone. It was John, an old friend I hadn’t seen in quite a while. He was visiting family in Austin and invited me over to catch up on old times.

John is an avid Longhorns fan. He has a dog named Major. He has a cat named Earl. His ex-wife kind of looked like Nobis.

He’s a good, level-headed guy unless — as I would be reminded — the discussion turns to football.

He offered to give me directions to his mother’s house, but I said I'd just consult GPS. He seemed confused, but said OK.

Anyway, when I arrived I saw his burnt orange AMC Pacer with an “Akers of Cotton” bumper sticker in the driveway. He greeted me at the door with a “soul’ hand shake. I noticed his hair was permed into a disco-era white guy afro.

He was wearing a brightly-colored silk shirt and bell bottom jeans. He towered over me. I guessed he stood 6-4. But he was just 5-10 when he took off the platform shoes he was wearing.

I knew he was glad to see me. His mood ring was blue.

Once inside he turned off some music that had been blaring on the Hi-Fi and offered me an ice cold Schlitz. I declined. He offered a glass of Tang — orange or grape. I said water would be fine.

He brought it in a glass commemorating Texas’ 1970 UPI national championship team. I sat it down next to a lava lamp. Then, I pointed out Texas lost to Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl that season.

The visit immediately began to go awry.

“You know, Texas is still best college football program in the state,” he said as he plopped down into a bean bag chair.

“We’ve got Tommy Nobis and Vince Young and Ricky Williams … who do the Aggies have?” he taunted.

Well, they’ve got Myles Garrett, Josh Reynolds, Mike Matthews, Kyle Allen …

John seemed unimpressed.

“We had five players drafted this year,” he crowed.

And yet you still had a losing record last season.

“How many Aggies were drafted this year?” he asked while pulling on one end of his handlebar mustache.

Offensive linemen Cedric Ogbuehi and Jarvis Harrison were drafted. In fact, A&M has had an offensive lineman drafted in the first round in each of the last three NFL drafts. Texas hasn’t had an offensive lineman drafted since Kasey Studdard was taken in the sixth round in 2007.

That’s eight years without a Texas offensive lineman drafted.

A&M had three players taken in the first round in 2014. Texas hasn’t had three first round picks since 1980.

Yet, I made an attempt to keep the conversation current. But every time I tried to look ahead John seemed intent on looking back.

A&M has eight starters returning on offense and defense this year from a team that posted eight wins last season.

“Eight wins,” he snorted. “Texas won at least 10 games nine years in a row.”

That was five years ago. Texas hasn’t had a 10-win season since. The Aggies might win at least 10 games this year.

“That move to the SEC hasn’t panned out too well has it,” he chided.

I disagreed. A&M has posted three straight winning seasons and finished fifth in the nation in 2012.

“Fifth in the nation,” he scoffed. “Big deal. Texas only cares about championships.”

Calmly, I reminded that the Longhorns haven’t won a championship since 2009. They’ve  finished unranked in four of the past five seasons. Their best finish in that span was 19th in 2012. That’s when Texas brass told Cotton Bowl officials the Longhorns did not want to play A&M.

It didn’t matter. Texas didn’t win enough to get into the Cotton Bowl.

At that point our visit turned into an ugly joust of one-liners.

“Are you guys still standing during games?” he smirked.

Are you guys are still resting on your laurels?

“Didn’t A&M have two quarterbacks last year?” he taunted.

Did Texas even have one?

“Didn’t A&M give up 59 points to Alabama?” he said.

Didn’t Texas gain 59 yards against Arkansas?

“Every time I looked up A&M’s opponent was kicking off,” he said.

Every time I looked up Charlie Strong was kicking off a player.

John’s mood ring had turned green. I feared he might throw his pet rock at me. Or worse yet, he might throw his typewriter at me.

It was time to leave.

As I left I realized we really hadn’t had a chance to catch up. I didn’t even know from where he was visiting.

“So, John, where are you now living?” I asked.

Then I added: “I mean, besides in the past.”

His mood ring turned black.