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Bill Snyder
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11:22a, 10/15/01
In 1998, I compared the loss to your school to the death of a relative.

I was right, but it wasn't like the death of a close relative.

Now, after a diastrous loss to Texas Tech!!!! of all teams, I know what it is like to lose a close relative.

Well, this week, things will change.

My cut and paste JUCO team will spend all week practicing in black unis in honor of our loss. We will introduce the pall bearer drill, where members of our secondary will run up and down the field carrying caskets loaded with our fat, slow offensive linemen.

I will ease up the restrictions on our JUCO outlaws. No more locking them up in their rooms a 7:30 p.m. Now, they can drink themselves stupid all week for all I care.

My main focus this week is going to be finding out why on earth someone would name their child "Ell". Don't they know that's Spanish for "the"? Would you name your son "the"? I wouldn't.

Of course, what do I know? I just lost a son last week in Lubbock. And I lost a cousin the week before that when we lost to OU.

I WILL KILL YOU ALL.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.
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36
Texas Aggie '99
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11:25a, 10/15/01
AG
This post is the 'Coach Slocum on a Mobile' of the internet.

I love it.
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Muy
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11:29a, 10/15/01
AG
Bill, would you please tell your AD to sell hotdogs at the game? Bratwurst is okay, but come on!
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Madman
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11:29a, 10/15/01
AG
"the"

I always thougt the German words der, die, and das would make great names. Or how about "of" or "de" in spanish.
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Bill Snyder
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11:37a, 10/15/01
Texas Aggie '99, I will kill you. I am not anything like that Houston radio character, mortal.

But can someone please explain to me how a skinny twerp named Kliff (along with the combined graduates of Odessa Permian and Brownfield High) were able to dominate my lively band of illiterate steroid fiends?

By the way, you can pass this along to the Wildcat "faithful." If they boo us again this week, I will leap into the stands and lecture them sternly. Just try me.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

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lil99chris
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11:37a, 10/15/01
AG
so Bill, who's injured for this week?
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Texas Aggie '99
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11:40a, 10/15/01
AG
Live in denial. I dub thee 'Coach Snyder on a Modem.'
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CanyonAg77
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11:40a, 10/15/01
AG
...and the Aggie tasked with naming his brother's newly born twins, a girl and a boy, came up with:

Denise

and





Denephew

(rimshot)
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Bill Snyder
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11:42a, 10/15/01
SILENCE, lil99chris!

You will learn NOTHING of my injured. I will not share this vital information even were you to employ dark voodoo magic upon me. I will NEVER let such information pass as long as I breathe what you mortals call air.

You may know this: I feel as though my entire extended family was wiped out in a terrible trailerpark/polar bear incident. My team feels the same way. We know death at the teeth of angry, wild-eyed polar bears.

Soon, you will know it.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.
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CoolaidWade
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11:45a, 10/15/01
AG
I don't think your'e really Bill Snyder. He's way more of a freak they you are. I think you are just an Aggie pretending.
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SeaAg
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12:10p, 10/15/01
Greatness!! Reminds me of the FAKE Johnny Oates on 1310 the ticket...
"What do you mean?humanoid?"
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AggieMBP
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12:25p, 10/15/01
"We know death at the teeth of angry, wild-eyed polar bears."

Osama on a mobile?
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GeorgiAg
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1:44p, 10/15/01
AG
Mr. Snyder:

Do you wear purple underwear? If so, what type?

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the
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1:51p, 10/15/01
stop making fun of me, coach
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Buck Turgidson
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2:04p, 10/15/01
"my lively band of illiterate steroid fiends?"

LMAO!!!!!!!

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Bill Snyder
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2:29p, 10/15/01
GeorgiAg, I usually fly "commando." That's right, mortal, there's nothing but a thin layer of gaberdeen protecting you and the rest of the world from "Little Bill."

Your question though, GeorgiAg, reminds me of another change I will implement this week. As you well know, I don't let any of my players speak to the media. (This protects them from annoying mortal questions like, "Are you really 'the' Roberson? Aren't there other Robersons in the world?")

This week, however, I will allow the media to direct questions to sock puppets operated by me and wearing the uniform numbers of the players in question.

So, on Tuesday, not only can you direct your pitiful questions to me, you may also inquire of sock puppet Ell Roberson, sock puppet Michael Bishop and sock puppet Quincy Morgan. I promise you, mortals, you will not like their answers!

They will lecture you on the important things in life, like football, and not allowing touchdowns, and not losing to %$&##%&^ Texas Tech on the road!

I WILL KILL YOU ALL!

Love,
Bill


p.s. I am crazy now.
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Texas Aggie '99
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2:32p, 10/15/01
AG
quote:
(This protects them from annoying mortal questions like, "Are you really 'the' Roberson? Aren't there other Robersons in the world?")


This is classic. LOL!
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PaulAg02
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2:41p, 10/15/01
This is by far one of the funniest threads around!

"the" is a new handle, it just can't get any better.

LMMFAO!!!
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Buck Turgidson
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2:49p, 10/15/01
"This week, however, I will allow the media to direct questions to sock puppets operated by me and wearing the uniform numbers of the players in question."

I almost suffocated after reading that one!

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13 0 Branding Iron
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3:04p, 10/15/01
AG
Bill,

Many coaches are wondering if you find the mood elevating effects of Prozac superior to psychosis inhibitors such as Mellaril?
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KansasStateWildcat
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3:18p, 10/15/01
I saw someone wanted to know who was injured? Well from what I hear, Sproles and Roberson are both practicing. McGraw got a little ruffed up at the TT game but I think he's fine. Robertson was hurt don't see it as a serious thing I'm sure he'll be there Saturday.
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GeorgiAg
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3:21p, 10/15/01
AG
Mr. Snyder:

What scheduling changes do you plan to implement to improve your teams performance? I think a move to the WAC would get you a few more wins each year.
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Bill Snyder
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3:27p, 10/15/01
Branding Iron, in the words of the great golden one, he of the heisman hype and hefty interception ratios, "you just made the list."

Have you ever watched as all four of your grandparents were eaten alive by rabid armadillos hopped up on pop rocks and no doze? Well, I have. It happened last year when we lost to OU in the Big 12 title game!

You now face a fate all the more grim, Branding Iron. I will give you a stern, yet dismissive talking to.

DEATH TO ALL MORTALS!

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

[This message has been edited by Bill Snyder (edited 10/15/2001).]
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Bill Snyder
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3:29p, 10/15/01
No more questions, GeorgiAg. Talk to the sock puppet.

Love, Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.
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CCAg95
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4:29p, 10/15/01
AG
KansasStateWildcat: You will probably be shot as a traitor by Bill himself for giving out such secret information.
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13 0 Branding Iron
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5:55p, 10/15/01
AG
Watch out, that may be "Little Bill" in the sock puppet.
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lil99chris
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5:58p, 10/15/01
AG
Bill Snyder, do you use Viagra?
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Muy
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6:02p, 10/15/01
AG
Shut up humanoids, or I will have to once again shed my exo-skeleton and prepare myself for the great transformation, and THEN and only THEN you will know exactly what I mean when I say "Sschfeasgoidngdsas!".
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Friend of RCII
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6:08p, 10/15/01
AG
Dear Bill Snyder... As an old Ag residing in the beautiful oasis of Brownfield, Tx., I am honored that you fessed up and included Brownfield grads working in concert with Odessa Permian grads in TT's take down of K-State. Brownfield Cub players, past and present, have an undying desire to play havock with the ambitions of the mighty K-State locomotive.

Go cubs, fight, fight, fight!
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Okie_Dokie
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6:43p, 10/15/01
Muy = Bill Snyder ?
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CT 89
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7:40p, 10/15/01
AG
ROTGLMAO!!!!
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Tim the Enchanter
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7:47p, 10/15/01
quote:
Have you ever watched as all four of your grandparents were eaten alive by rabid armadillos hopped up on pop rocks and no doze?


Sounds like what would happen if LSU were in Lubbock rather than Red Stick.



"We run better with the wind at our backs."

-kbass
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ag1974
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8:36p, 10/15/01
AG
the funniest thread ever, hands down.

Bill, thank you for taking time out of
your busy day to peruse our forum.

We're sorry about ruining your hopes
for a national championship and making
Michael Bishop cry like a little b*tch
a few years back. No hard feelings.
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PLC guy
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9:25p, 10/15/01
ttt this is great.
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