First 9-Month deployment coming to an end

2,384 Views | 8 Replies | Last: 7 yr ago by usmcbrooks
champagnepapi
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Funny how many stages of excitement and boredom and anger take place. One month, something would fascinate and the next not so much.

9-Months in Korea. Not a combat deployment but 9-months away from a wife and baby. My wife has sure been a trooper through this whole thing. I left my baby at 10 days old, looking forward to getting to know her.

Any advice or caution as I slide back into their schedule/routine?

Rabid Cougar
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AG
quote:
Funny how many stages of excitement and boredom and anger take place. One month, something would fascinate and the next not so much.

9-Months in Korea. Not a combat deployment but 9-months away from a wife and baby. My wife has sure been a trooper through this whole thing. I left my baby at 10 days old, looking forward to getting to know her.

Any advice or caution as I slide back into their schedule/routine?


My best advice....Don't try to change your wife's schedule/routine right off the bat. She will have her routine down pat and if you try to help too much it can get a little tense. Let her integrate you back into her routine. Let her continue to be the head of the household a little longer. She will gradually relinquish "control". Offer you services/help but don't force it on her.

Also ...Welcome Home!
JABQ04
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AG
Just want to echo Cougar's advice. Left for Iraq when my daughter was 8 weeks old then did a year in Korea when my son was 6.5 weeks old.

I let my wife run stuff when I got back and adjusted. Your child has grown so much and it takes a bit of time to figure things out. I expected infants upon return and came home to mostly mobile toddlers with personalities. Don't be discouraged if your kid doesn't want to have anything to do with you. It took my son a couple of days to warm back up even though we Skyped just about everyday.

Welcome back
Smithjg
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THANK YOU for your service!
Naveronski
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AG
You're going to miss certain aspects. That's cool to talk about with your buddies, but you wife expects you to be thrilled to be home.

Keep her happy.
Rabid Cougar
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AG
I thought of another aspects that you may want to watch out for.

Language: Even an old DoD civilian living with a bunch of young enlisted and hard core NCOs learns new tricks. Your wife may not appreciate the extra explicit adjective or two or three in front of every noun in a sentence.

Rabid Cougar
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AG
double posted

Presley OBannons Sword
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another thing to consider is that you have likely had a lot of alone time. the thing I enjoy most about deploying is that time every evening, or whenever you find it, to just sit in your rack and read a book or watch a television series or whatever. my last deployment was pretty much a 0700-1800 workday, then the rest of the night was just mine for whatever I wanted to do. that lovely,regular alone time is over the instant you step off that plane. your wife will expect you to want to be doing stuff with her and the family your every waking second for awhile. they just don't understand anything else. I don't have advice really because I suck at dealing with this. just something to consider.
AnchorFoundation
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I heard this many a time from one of my chaplains when we would return from a rotation:

"Men are like microwaves, women are like crockpots" CH Dave Bowlus (2002-2005)

Take a moment to analyze that from several vantage points in and around the home.

RLTW and NSDQ
usmcbrooks
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quote:
another thing to consider is that you have likely had a lot of alone time. the thing I enjoy most about deploying is that time every evening, or whenever you find it, to just sit in your rack and read a book or watch a television series or whatever. my last deployment was pretty much a 0700-1800 workday, then the rest of the night was just mine for whatever I wanted to do. that lovely,regular alone time is over the instant you step off that plane. your wife will expect you to want to be doing stuff with her and the family your every waking second for awhile. they just don't understand anything else. I don't have advice really because I suck at dealing with this. just something to consider.
Well said. I love my wife and my children, but I still need that alone time that I got used to on deployments. It gives you time to process your day and hopefully not take out any anger from that day on the family. Also, it doesn't matter that it's not a combat deployment. Those aren't all they are cracked up to be.
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