My night is set.

Favorite TB quote. Go!

You could stick your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take your butcher's word for it?

I like the part where Fat Tommy Boy falls on that large propeller.

Never seen it

Hood flying open on the highway gets me every time.

I just watched I Am Chris Farley before it. Funny, but very sad

Take that itchy bra off......

It was on earlier as well.

Listen up, you little spazoids! I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you!

"We could go to the livestock auction and cruise the 4H babes, throw stuff off the bridge, what do you feel like doing?"

"You put your shoulder into her and you push, 'and?', they fall over!"

"Can I open my eyes now, dad?"

"Son, quit covering your damn eyes!"

Herbie Hancock.

Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted. Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Go on, I'm listening.
Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?
[chuckles until he sees that Ted is not laughing]
Ted Nelson, Customer: [impatiently] What's your point?
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of ****. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.
Ted Nelson, Customer: [pause] Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well, that's...
Tommy/Richard Hayden: ...What?

"Is that for me, dad?"

"No son, that's for me."

they're all out. they only got diesel. better go to the next station.

(Looking at the map)

"Ok, where's moron? Moron is here...."

"Did you live under power lines as a kid, or something?"

rt I lost my virginity to your daughter, rob you were there

You have derailed.

Who did the writing for that movie?

Richard, who was your favorite little rascal?
I know, bet it was Spanky!

I love that movie

If I wanted a kiss, I would've called you mother.

Well let's take a look at what happens when you use Callaghan brake pads. You're driving along....truck tire!.....*stops the model car just short of destroying it*...whoa, that was close.

Now let's see what happens with the other guys brake pads. You're driving along, driving along. Kids in the back screaming "I gotta go to the bathroom daddy!" "Not now Damn it!". Boom truck tire. I can't stop!! *Repeatedly slams model car destroying it* oh there's a cliff...ahhhhhhhh. It's burning us alive! Here comes the meat wagon. Weeee ooooh were oooh. Medic takes one look "Oh my god" new guy is in the corner puking his guts out. All because you want to save a couple bucks.

Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

quote:

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Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

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I'm pretty sure that was black sheep, but great line nonetheless.