How did you set up a random drug testing program to ensure that employees are randomly selected?
quote:
Do a rando on the whole office one day. Force everyone into the room for an early morning super important announcement and then spring the surprise drug test day speech!!!!
TLDR;
1. Lure employees to important morning meeting
2. ??????
3. Profit off excess monies from G&A savings
quote:thank you
excel spreadsheet
column a: index number (unique to each employee. start at 1, go through total number of employees (n)
column b: employee name
cell c1: "=randbetween(1,n)" n is the total number of emplyees
cell d1:"=vlookup(C1,A1:Bn,2)"
quote:
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process
quote:flipping a coin is against the law. seriously.
Divide your employees into 2 groups
Flip a coin
Loser side gets divided in half
Flip a coin
Repeat until a chump is selected
Test
Fire
Science!
quote:loopholes
Flip a cookie
quote:well...the thing about our black employees is that we don't have anyquote:
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process
Just pick out the black people. That's scientific.
quote:or because i'm having to implement a drug testing program and don't know anything about drug testing
2nd drug testing thread started by OP in 72 hrs = cracked out
quote:quote:or because i'm having to implement a drug testing program and don't know anything about drug testing
2nd drug testing thread started by OP in 72 hrs = cracked out
quote:quote:well...the thing about our black employees is that we don't have anyquote:
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process
Just pick out the black people. That's scientific.
quote:quote:thank you
excel spreadsheet
column a: index number (unique to each employee. start at 1, go through total number of employees (n)
column b: employee name
cell c1: "=randbetween(1,n)" n is the total number of emplyees
cell d1:"=vlookup(C1,A1:Bn,2)"
quote:Especially if that vendor is me.
You'll be better suited engaging a vendor that will handle the selection process for you.
quote:I know all the guys well, we spend a lot of time on the road together, they're all good dudes. We all like to get drunk until the law intervenes, but none of the guys do drugs. We all took a test last week and everyone passed, but we have to start taking random ones.
The problem you might have is that your best employees might be your stoners. The alcoholics tend to spend their mornings recovering from the night before and their afternoons planning their evening of drunkenness. It takes a stoner just a few minutes to get high and just a few hours to come down thus causing them to be more reliable on the job. To protect yourself and your business you are prolly going to need a designated pisser.