Question for employers who do random drug testing

4,583 Views | 51 Replies | Last: 8 yr ago by rwtxag83
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
How did you set up a random drug testing program to ensure that employees are randomly selected?
suburban cowboy
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Dr. Not Yet Dr. Ag
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You find yourself a rat among your employees, get them to find out who parties on the reg or smokes the ganja, then "randomly" select employees to test.
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FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
i don't care what they do one way or the other, i just have to do this in order to get on a preferred contractor list for a certain company
Satellite of Love
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Do a rando on the whole office one day. Force everyone into the room for an early morning super important announcement and then spring the surprise drug test day speech!!!!

TLDR;

1. Lure employees to important morning meeting
2. ??????
3. Profit off excess monies from G&A savings
Old School Brother
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i'm not sure what you don't understand.....do you want someone to explain how to "randomly" select employees to test?
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process
Flashdiaz
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AG
quote:
Do a rando on the whole office one day. Force everyone into the room for an early morning super important announcement and then spring the surprise drug test day speech!!!!

TLDR;

1. Lure employees to important morning meeting
2. ??????
3. Profit off excess monies from G&A savings

do it on a monday or on April 21st.
dah4439
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AG
There's gotta be some HR Ags on here that can tell you the legal side of it. I'm pretty sure they have to sign something first to give you their consent.
BlackGoldAg2011
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AG
excel spreadsheet

column a: index number (unique to each employee. start at 1, go through total number of employees (n)
column b: employee name

cell c1: "=randbetween(1,n)" n is the total number of emplyees
cell d1:"=vlookup(C1,A1:Bn,2)"
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
quote:
excel spreadsheet

column a: index number (unique to each employee. start at 1, go through total number of employees (n)
column b: employee name

cell c1: "=randbetween(1,n)" n is the total number of emplyees
cell d1:"=vlookup(C1,A1:Bn,2)"

thank you
Ezra Brooks
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AG
You'll be better suited engaging a vendor that will handle the selection process for you.
Mucho austin
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AG
Divide your employees into 2 groups
Flip a coin
Loser side gets divided in half
Flip a coin
Repeat until a chump is selected
Test
Fire

Science!
Frederick Palowaski
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AG
quote:
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process


Just pick out the black people. That's scientific.
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
quote:
Divide your employees into 2 groups
Flip a coin
Loser side gets divided in half
Flip a coin
Repeat until a chump is selected
Test
Fire

Science!
flipping a coin is against the law. seriously.
Mucho austin
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AG
Flip a cookie
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
quote:
Flip a cookie
loopholes
Slappy74
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AG
I was randomly selected every year when I had long hair.
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
quote:
quote:
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process


Just pick out the black people. That's scientific.
well...the thing about our black employees is that we don't have any
Motel California
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S
2nd drug testing thread started by OP in 72 hrs = cracked out
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
quote:
2nd drug testing thread started by OP in 72 hrs = cracked out
or because i'm having to implement a drug testing program and don't know anything about drug testing
Motel California
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S
quote:
quote:
2nd drug testing thread started by OP in 72 hrs = cracked out
or because i'm having to implement a drug testing program and don't know anything about drug testing


Just play along
I Play With Guns
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S
Pick a drug screening company to run the tests for you.

They have the scientific method figured out already and you won't even have to deal with worrying about it.

Secon and DISA are just a few I know off the top of my head.
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Build It
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AG
We do a pre hire screen. Some clients make us test everyone that works on one of their projects. We claim to do a random but in actuality we would only test you if we suspected you were high on the job.

So far this system works.
bmc13
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AG
fight the man
george92
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quote:
quote:
quote:
i have to use a scientifically based random selection process


Just pick out the black people. That's scientific.
well...the thing about our black employees is that we don't have any


Let me go out on a limb and say you might have a brown or two. Correct?
boboguitar
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AG
quote:
quote:
excel spreadsheet

column a: index number (unique to each employee. start at 1, go through total number of employees (n)
column b: employee name

cell c1: "=randbetween(1,n)" n is the total number of emplyees
cell d1:"=vlookup(C1,A1:Bn,2)"

thank you


That's psuedo random, not scientifically random like you asked for.
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
Si
FOUR THIN INCHES
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Hopefully the drug screening company can set us up with something or put us in a consortium. We'll see tomorrow.
Amazing Moves
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cisgenderedAggie
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quote:
You'll be better suited engaging a vendor that will handle the selection process for you.
Especially if that vendor is me.
george92
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The problem you might have is that your best employees might be your stoners. The alcoholics tend to spend their mornings recovering from the night before and their afternoons planning their evening of drunkenness. It takes a stoner just a few minutes to get high and just a few hours to come down thus causing them to be more reliable on the job. To protect yourself and your business you are prolly going to need a designated pisser.
FOUR THIN INCHES
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AG
quote:
The problem you might have is that your best employees might be your stoners. The alcoholics tend to spend their mornings recovering from the night before and their afternoons planning their evening of drunkenness. It takes a stoner just a few minutes to get high and just a few hours to come down thus causing them to be more reliable on the job. To protect yourself and your business you are prolly going to need a designated pisser.
I know all the guys well, we spend a lot of time on the road together, they're all good dudes. We all like to get drunk until the law intervenes, but none of the guys do drugs. We all took a test last week and everyone passed, but we have to start taking random ones.
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