to happen to you?

Regail me with your awful moments so that I may laugh at/with you.

Not too long ago I tripped over nothing and busted my knee, hands, and elbow while simultaneously twisting my ankle. My husband was there just blinking at me like ?WTF just happened" - and there were neighbors out to witness this moment of grace as well.

Also, last week while listening to a time share presentation one exhale caused a booger to soar into the air and land on the table. We all saw it. We all watched it fall to the table. The salesman had the good grace to just keep talking while I wiped the table of my mucosos. Just awful.

Now GO!

I threw up at a gas pump a few weeks ago. The embarrassing part, I peed myself a bit while vomiting.

Took this chick home last weekend. We were fooling around and everything was going great, but then she passed out before we got to smash.

That is embarrassing. What if she was faking being asleep just to avoid banging you?

I'm wearing my glasses today

Realized my fly had been down for at least 30 minutes after going to the bathroom.

quote:

---

That is embarrassing. What if she was faking being asleep just to avoid banging you?

---

This. She pulled the Sexless Innkeeper on you bro.

quote:

---

That is embarrassing. What if she was faking being asleep just to avoid banging you?

---

Then she wouldn't have banged me the next morning.

Payment for the place to sleep?

quote:

---

I threw up at a gas pump a few weeks ago. The embarrassing part, I peed myself a bit while vomiting.

---

You're disgusting.

The Sexless Innkeeper meets the Penniless Patron.

Sounds like the beginnings of some quality cinema.

quote:

---

Payment for the place to sleep?

---

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Just went to bathroom at office and looked in mirror

Put on all my makrup except blush this morning

I've been walking arounf like pale face all day

But most embarrassing time may be the time I went into the restroom at a restaurant and came out of the stall and saw a man standing at urinal.

My first thought was to look at them and think what the **** is he doing in the women's room

Then something kicked in and I realized we haven't had urinals and women's room for a long time

So I proceeded to look him in the eye as I went to the sink and washed my hands then waved goodbye and told him to have a nice day

One time I was at a urinal. I finished, turned around and saw this girl walk out of the stall .....

histag, you reminded me that I pissed myself while vomitting as well last week. LOL

I puked in my hair so I was going to shower anyway, but the puking was so violent I peed myself. It wasn't embarrassing until I just admitted it though. LOL

Was she by chance inebriated?

and for extra emphasis - LOL

Walked out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhose. **** pantyhose.

Food poisoning at work. I didn't want to take a whole day so I tried to tough it out until 1:00. Around 12:30 it was too much to bear; I ran into the bathroom but didn't quite make it. Out both ends, all over everywhere. Cleaned it up, but I still had to make the walk of shame out of the building with soiled underpants in my pocket and me smelling like... you can imagine.

Got to the elevator and it opens, revealing 7 people smiling and waving for me to step inside. I politely declined.

quote:

---

Was she by chance inebriated?

---

Yes, and she introduced herself and tried to shake my hand. That's always awkward in the men's room.

quote:

---

Walked out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhose. **** pantyhose.

---

This is why thigh highs are awesome

quote:

---

Walked out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhose. **** pantyhose.

---

get a tan, snowman

quote:

---

quote:

---

Walked out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhose. **** pantyhose.

---

This is why thigh highs are awesome

---

Part of our dress code for this particular place was full pantyhose erryday. hated that.

quote:

---

quote:

---

Walked out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhose. **** pantyhose.

---

This is why thigh highs are awesome

---

Well dammit this reminds me of my other embarrassing story

Out for drinks with the spouse and are meeting another couple for the first time. As you may recall spouse bought me the thigh highs that were two sizes too big. We stand up to leave and my stockings fall down around my ankles

Awkward

quote:

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

Walked out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhose. **** pantyhose.

---

This is why thigh highs are awesome

---

Part of our dress code for this particular place was full pantyhose erryday. hated that.

---

How will they know?

Female boss. Swear to god she knew everything. Like a mom or something.

I didn't think they could dictate what type of hose you wear

this one time i sharted at work and had to go home during lunch and change my drawers.

quote:

---

I didn't think they could dictate what type of hose you wear

---

If it's in the dress code manual they can. I'd think most wouldn't care but this particular manager did. It was a control thing

quote:

---

One time I was at a urinal. I finished, turned around and saw this girl walk out of the stall .....

---

Well done.

A few years ago I was at this ridiculously over-the-top Easter brunch at a luxury hotel in Dubai. I went to the restroom, and on the way slipped in a puddle of some else's vomit on the marble floor. It was so painful that it brought me to tears, plus I was on the floor in vomit in front of some really important people. Within a couple of hours I developed a huge, nasty bruise on my ass and could barely walk. I ended up having to go to the hospital the next day to make sure there wasn't a blood clot. I don't think I've ever been so mortified as I was that day.

quote:

---

I threw up at a gas pump a few weeks ago. The embarrassing part, I peed myself a bit while vomiting.

---

That's better than a poop squirt. That'll ruin your day!

Our church is very large. Two sanctuaries and the larger one holds 3,500 people. One morning before service I had to take a dump. They were out of seat covers so I put rows of toilet paper down on the seat. Somehow when I pulled my pants up....one of those rows got into the back of my pants and I went through the entire service with 12"-15" of toilet paper hanging out the back of my pants at the waist line. Wife didn't notice it until we were walking to the car 1.5 hours later.

But of course I heard about it the next weekend. Seems a lot of people saw it but thought it was too funny to ruin.